I'm bringing down my family emotionally.

[56709]

My low mood is definitely affecting them, and my constant anxiety about my future and the intense shame that I feel are crippling me...
I'm mentally declining in general. I wake up oftentimes not even knowing what day it is.

I feel like I might be one of the least-accomplished and lowliest guys alive right now... I keep humoring going back to school despite the fact that I have no honest career aspirations and am 22 already... If I can't keep my GPA up I am completely done for... I am still a virgin as well...

Feels like I have to force myself to behave and think like a person, to have aspirations and resist the urge to just hide/walk out on even simple things.
All this at the age that most people have graduated college, had multiple long-term relationships... and even met their spouses.


Still, I need to get to a point where I am self-sufficient so I can move out and purchase whatever materials I need. It can't end like this.

 

[Final Escape]

Don't take out student loans whatever u do lol! If u can't afford it, do not go unless it's being in full by someone else.

 

[MissNietzsche]

I'm the same way..my mother even told me once when she was upset that if I really want to die that badly, then I should just do it already...but I think ctb'ing would crush my family way more than I already am now.

 

[56709]

Don't take out student loans whatever u do lol! If u can't afford it, do not go unless it's being in full by someone else.

I want to cancel but I know that if I do my father will be very angry with me and that I may well spend another year or three NEET with no source of income whatsoever. This would be my last go at college, ever. If I cancel it now I will most certainly close that door forever.

 

[Final Escape]

I want to cancel but I know that if I do my father will be very angry with me and that I may well spend another year or three NEET with no source of income whatsoever. This would be my last go at college, ever. If I cancel it now I will most certainly close that door forever.

Hopefully u picked a good major or something that will be worth it when u are done. I ended up with student loan debt but I didn't stick with the jobs I trained for. Huge waste and in debt.