I'm being kicked out in a month and plan to die before then

[Thatdude]

I'm 30 something high functioning, and live with my parents. I'm getting kicked out in a month because my parents kept arguing. My sister is a drug addict, and instead of taking care of her kids, her kids frequently act up. If I say the slightest thing like ask them to clean up their room, calm down, or whatever. I get yelled at with something like "I will handle it".
Anyways it got pretty bad today, and I'm being kicked out. All because my dad man handle the internet and broke it.

My plan is to ride this out until I'm officially out. Then walk to the nearest train tracks and walk down them until a train hits me. Maybe on the way a truck will hit me or something. Hopefully I can do this at night to make it easier. I wish I can do this without involving anyone else. But I don't own a gun, and I don't really have a good method.

Maybe between then I might be able to figure out how to do the night night method. Like the other option is to walk the train tracks until I get to a bridge, jump off, and hope I die quickly. I worry that is going to be a slow painful death. Maybe I deserve it

 

[Alex6216]

I'm 30 something high functioning, and live with my parents. I'm getting kicked out in a month because my parents kept arguing. My sister is a drug addict, and instead of taking care of her kids, her kids frequently act up. If I say the slightest thing like ask them to clean up their room, calm down, or whatever. I get yelled at with something like "I will handle it".
Anyways it got pretty bad today, and I'm being kicked out. All because my dad man handle the internet and broke it.

My plan is to ride this out until I'm officially out. Then walk to the nearest train tracks and walk down them until a train hits me. Maybe on the way a truck will hit me or something. Hopefully I can do this at night to make it easier. I wish I can do this without involving anyone else. But I don't own a gun, and I don't really have a good method.

Maybe between then I might be able to figure out how to do the night night method. Like the other option is to walk the train tracks until I get to a bridge, jump off, and hope I die quickly. I worry that is going to be a slow painful death. Maybe I deserve it

why not just put your neck on the tracks?
The train will cut your head clean off. Jumping isn't guaranteed to kill you especially if you're falling less than 60 metres high

 

[Thatdude]

why not just put your neck on the tracks?
The train will cut your head clean off. Jumping isn't guaranteed to kill you especially if you're falling less than 60 metres high

I'm not a 100% sure how the tracks run. Like I know there is parts that go into the woods, but I might literally be laying out there for a week or more before I see a train.

The reason why I would want to jump over getting hit by a train is I really don't want to force someone else to kill me. Like if I have no choice, then so be it. But I don't want someone innocent to kill me.
I wish I was in another country. I forgot which off the top of my head, but some actually allow you to get help from a doctor if you are autistic. Then again, some of the same ones literally give you a budget to sleep with women to improve moral. So I might not want to die there anyways.

 

[Alex6216]

I'm not a 100% sure how the tracks run. Like I know there is parts that go into the woods, but I might literally be laying out there for a week or more before I see a train.

The reason why I would want to jump over getting hit by a train is I really don't want to force someone else to kill me. Like if I have no choice, then so be it. But I don't want someone innocent to kill me.
I wish I was in another country. I forgot which off the top of my head, but some actually allow you to get help from a doctor if you are autistic.

Which country are you in?
Depending on the country you can get 60 chloroquine tablets over the counter and overdose on them, make sure to take a z-drug or benzodiazepine or any sedative though

 

[Thatdude]

Which country are you in?
Depending on the country you can get 60 chloroquine tablets over the counter and overdose on them, make sure to take a z-drug or benzodiazepine or any sedative though

USA

 

[FuneralCry]

I remember reading about someone having a failed attempt with the Night Night method and I have not heard of anyone succeeding with it. I have never considered that method personally. The train sounds like a horrible method to me and I think that some one must be really desperate to be able to go through with it. That sounds like an awful situation to be in and I'm sorry that it has come to this point for you. It is such a cruel and unfair life. I hope that you find relief from your suffering in whatever happens.

 

[Thatdude]

I remember reading about someone having a failed attempt with the Night Night method and I have not heard of anyone succeeding with it. I have never considered that method personally. The train sounds like a horrible method to me and I think that some one must be really desperate to be able to go through with it. That sounds like an awful situation to be in and I'm sorry that it has come to this point for you. It is such a cruel and unfair life. I hope that you find relief from your suffering in whatever happens.

Ya I never heard of the night night method working, but as far as I can tell. If it doesn't work then there is no downside other than wasted time.

 

[lostmyacc]

Train death is not good. A forum member lost their legs without dying.

 

[Someone123]

why not just put your neck on the tracks?
The train will cut your head clean off. Jumping isn't guaranteed to kill you especially if you're falling less than 60 metres high

This is somewhat of a myth. Most trains have a device in front of the wheels designed to push debris away so then the train won't go over a person's neck.

 

[whatevs]

My sister is a drug addict, and instead of taking care of her kids, her kids frequently act up.

The fact that the scum is always the most prolific says everything you need to know about the reality we have been thrown into.

It's tragic that just because you didn't want to put up with the untamed offspring of your sister you have to resort to suicide, but not completely shocking.

I guess trying to survive in the streets and struggle to get into housing etc is not part of your possibilities. It wouldn't be part of mine either. I would definitely wander some, 'ride it out' and seek the least horrific way to leave.

 

[Thatdude]

I guess trying to survive in the streets and struggle to get into housing etc is not part of your possibilities. It wouldn't be part of mine either. I would definitely wander some, 'ride it out' and seek the least horrific way to leave.

I'm sure if I put in the effort I could stay alive, but the question gets into why

Once my family kicks me out, I have no family. I have no romantic interest. I've tried so fucking hard to make it through normal methods to the point I have 4 degrees, and only after I couldn't join the military I found out 85% of college graduates with autism are underemployed or unemployed. That much of the discrimination in many places I tried working is extremely common among autistic people.
Other than to consume the next bit of media, I literally have no reason to wake up when I'm kicked out.

And what gets me is it isn't like I'm sitting on my ass doing nothing. I helped out in what ways I could with cleaning, cooking, IT, and so on. Like I literally spent what money I could on Roombas, making the house a smart house to help with lighting, helped in what ways to cut bills down, and so on. Like if I was a scumbag and didn't help out, then I would understand completely. But I'm just so fucking sick of things.

I hoped to be doing this in the middle of winter where there is ice outside and less people. One of my plans was to just dip myself in the cold water, and die from the cold. While not quick, it should be as close to painless as possible since I will end up falling asleep and never waking up. But like everything else in life, I got yet another middle finger from life and it wants to make it as painful and hard as possible.

 

[whatevs]

I'm sure if I put in the effort I could stay alive, but the question gets into why

Once my family kicks me out, I have no family. I have no romantic interest. I've tried so fucking hard to make it through normal methods to the point I have 4 degrees, and only after I couldn't join the military I found out 85% of college graduates with autism are underemployed or unemployed. That much of the discrimination in many places I tried working is extremely common among autistic people.
Other than to consume the next bit of media, I literally have no reason to wake up when I'm kicked out.

And what gets me is it isn't like I'm sitting on my ass doing nothing. I helped out in what ways I could with cleaning, cooking, IT, and so on. Like I literally spent what money I could on Roombas, making the house a smart house to help with lighting, helped in what ways to cut bills down, and so on. Like if I was a scumbag and didn't help out, then I would understand completely. But I'm just so fucking sick of things.

I hoped to be doing this in the middle of winter where there is ice outside and less people. One of my plans was to just dip myself in the cold water, and die from the cold. While not quick, it should be as close to painless as possible since I will end up falling asleep and never waking up. But like everything else in life, I got yet another middle finger from life and it wants to make it as painful and hard as possible.

I'm an autistic 31 yo virgin with CFS and I picked up coding three years ago to give my life direction and purpose. It isn't making me happy but it prevents me from being so miserable that I plan on killing myself instead of just being on a suicide forum.

What's the kicker? My family is 90% supportive and 60% understanding. I wouldn't have made it so far without them. Like you, without my family I have very little...

So I understand completely that you think the best course of action is to kill yourself if you are rejected by your family. Have you told them that it will happen, by the way?

 

[come to dust]

I'm not a 100% sure how the tracks run. Like I know there is parts that go into the woods, but I might literally be laying out there for a week or more before I see a train.

The reason why I would want to jump over getting hit by a train is I really don't want to force someone else to kill me. Like if I have no choice, then so be it. But I don't want someone innocent to kill me.
I wish I was in another country. I forgot which off the top of my head, but some actually allow you to get help from a doctor if you are autistic. Then again, some of the same ones literally give you a budget to sleep with women to improve moral. So I might not want to die there anyways.

Can't you just look up local train times?

 

[Someone123]

According to a former train driver who posted here, he hity 14 people trying to ctb while driving and 10 died, though one took four days in the hospital to die. Others survived with serious injuries, including amputated limbs. So there about a 70% success rate, though it may take a while to ctb, based on this, and a 30% chance of surviving with serious injuries.

 

[Alex6216]

USA

Depending on the state you're in you can get RC drugs which you can use to OD on. the user Shu knows more than I do

This is somewhat of a myth. Most trains have a device in front of the wheels designed to push debris away so then the train won't go over a person's neck.

Ouch, it used to be legit though, I saw an article on a guy who died via train beheading in the US but that was in 2009.

 

[Weebster]

Try and get a job and then rent a room. If that fails, then...

 

[Someone123]

Depending on the state you're in you can get RC drugs which you can use to OD on. the user Shu knows more than I do

Ouch, it used to be legit though, I saw an article on a guy who died via train beheading in the US but that was in 2009.

It may work on some trains, but how do you know which ones, this device cannot be seen from the side, it is hidden under the train.