i'm back

[palebluedot]

I've been off here for a year, and now I'm back. I have officially lost all hope. I was in eating disorder treatment (inpatient to PHP to IOP), and I had a relapse, and they want me to step back up to PHP. My insurance won't cover any more PHP, and I simply cannot afford it. But they won't keep me in IOP when they're recommending me to step up, so I will just have to leave the program on the last day I have paid for in advance and be left with no treatment at all.

I understand that they truly want what's best for me, but why are my options either the best or the absolute worst? I feel abandoned and absolutely hopeless. This treatment was truly working, and just because I slipped up, they're going to completely drop me and let me continue this relapse by myself.

I really believed I could create a life worth living. But now I'm gonna be left alone with my eating disorder, and I see no way out except CTB.

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds really frustrating and tiring what you are going through. It's certainly a cruel existence where things usually just continue to get worse for so many people, causing more suffering to be experienced. It must be hard to deal with being trapped in that situation and I'm sorry that you have to endure all this. But I wish you the best.

 

[StrangeAndDeath]

I've been off here for a year, and now I'm back. I have officially lost all hope. I was in eating disorder treatment (inpatient to PHP to IOP), and I had a relapse, and they want me to step back up to PHP. My insurance won't cover any more PHP, and I simply cannot afford it. But they won't keep me in IOP when they're recommending me to step up, so I will just have to leave the program on the last day I have paid for in advance and be left with no treatment at all.

I understand that they truly want what's best for me, but why are my options either the best or the absolute worst? I feel abandoned and absolutely hopeless. This treatment was truly working, and just because I slipped up, they're going to completely drop me and let me continue this relapse by myself.

I really believed I could create a life worth living. But now I'm gonna be left alone with my eating disorder, and I see no way out except CTB.

That is heartbreaking. And the fact that you had hope makes it even more painful. I'm really sorry. I hope you can be happy, and eventually find peace in whatever form it may take