Hello my dear SS fellows!!
It's been about a week since I was not here. My name was crossed out and some of you thought I've been banned, others that I CTB, etc.
I'm gonna explaing everything to you because you deserve it and have always been super duper kind to me:
To begin with, I got my freedom back!
This made me drink alcohol every day and I was really having fun but the more I realize I was alone, the more I wanted to CTB (partial hanging).
Then, what was preventing me from doing so? You, my dad, my dog Tomi and some other friends who still talk to me.
How? Well, I want to leave this world but I don't want to leave you yet. Does that make sense?
Anyway, as I was saying, I really wanted to do it but got so sad that I decided there would be no goodbyes for anybody and I self deleted my account.
That night, I tried partial. Getting the right position was not so easy and the so-called sweet spot was nowhere to be seen.
I tried... I tried... and I tried....
For some moments, I felt my head was about to explode and was really scared of getting permanent brain damage.
In the end, I felt frustrated and realized that I won't be able to die like this. I read all the guides and still doesn't work on me. Maybe I'm a coward, maybe I just don't get it so....
I was really depressed; a free guy but a prisoner in this body of mine.
Then, booze made me feel better and thinking that I should get a gun or SN in a few months seemed to be THE ANSWER.
After these events, I wanted to be back to SS but it was not so easy getting my account back.
First, I made a request to have my account back and they never replied.
The second time, I created a new account but was rejected because we're not allowed to have more than one account.
I was really sad, I thought there was no way for me to be back here!
HOWEVER...
Mods and Admins here are awesome and they DID reply my third request to reactive my account!
And so, here I am guys/girls!
I've missed this community and you so much that you'll see me as active as usual.
Next time I get my SN or gun, I'll post a goodbye thread. Don't wanna leave like that never again. Also, you're very kind to me. I read all your comments hoping I was okay or at peace.
Thanks a lot for your time and see you around (fortunately)
Hugs and love,
Matt, WornOutLife
It's been about a week since I was not here. My name was crossed out and some of you thought I've been banned, others that I CTB, etc.
I'm gonna explaing everything to you because you deserve it and have always been super duper kind to me:
To begin with, I got my freedom back!
This made me drink alcohol every day and I was really having fun but the more I realize I was alone, the more I wanted to CTB (partial hanging).
Then, what was preventing me from doing so? You, my dad, my dog Tomi and some other friends who still talk to me.
How? Well, I want to leave this world but I don't want to leave you yet. Does that make sense?
Anyway, as I was saying, I really wanted to do it but got so sad that I decided there would be no goodbyes for anybody and I self deleted my account.
That night, I tried partial. Getting the right position was not so easy and the so-called sweet spot was nowhere to be seen.
I tried... I tried... and I tried....
For some moments, I felt my head was about to explode and was really scared of getting permanent brain damage.
In the end, I felt frustrated and realized that I won't be able to die like this. I read all the guides and still doesn't work on me. Maybe I'm a coward, maybe I just don't get it so....
I was really depressed; a free guy but a prisoner in this body of mine.
Then, booze made me feel better and thinking that I should get a gun or SN in a few months seemed to be THE ANSWER.
After these events, I wanted to be back to SS but it was not so easy getting my account back.
First, I made a request to have my account back and they never replied.
The second time, I created a new account but was rejected because we're not allowed to have more than one account.
I was really sad, I thought there was no way for me to be back here!
HOWEVER...
Mods and Admins here are awesome and they DID reply my third request to reactive my account!
And so, here I am guys/girls!
I've missed this community and you so much that you'll see me as active as usual.
Next time I get my SN or gun, I'll post a goodbye thread. Don't wanna leave like that never again. Also, you're very kind to me. I read all your comments hoping I was okay or at peace.
Thanks a lot for your time and see you around (fortunately)
Hugs and love,
Matt, WornOutLife
Last edited:
