Venting i'm back again, psychedelics/reality shifting, and advice

[fruitcup333]

hi everyone,

it's been a bit for me since i posted on here and while i'm currently not feeling as worse as i felt i feel like this is my safe space on the internet because i feel like the people here understand me. i just wanted to post a vent because i'm trying to better myself but it's just not working out and i'm very doubtful it ever will. some backstory, ever since high school i've struggled with schooling and like completing schoolwork and just in general being a good student. well i graduated high school since then and dropped out of college due to mental health reasons and now i'm giving it a second shot. but i'm two weeks into the semester and i already feel like i can't do this. like i'm in a easy school and only taking two classes and while one of them is supposedly hard (i have not even looked into the assignments for that one yet) the one that should be easy peasy i can't even bring myself to do the easiest of assignments. i just don't know what's wrong with me. and i can't see myself living without going through school if that makes sense. some more background i am finally able to hold down a job and have for almost a yearish now but i don't want to be there forever even though i'm happy there currently. there's more i would like to accomplish if i'm alive here but why can't i bring myself to do these things that are easy. this assignment is literally a completion grade... i just have these goals that i thought were more realistic and now i'm only trying to get an associates degree that would guarantee me a job but why can't i even do that like what is the cure to motivational issues (if that's the problem with me) then i have no clue.

moving onto my next topic where i don't know if this is the right place to talk about this here and if anyone will know what i'm talking about or if i'll just sound crazy but i've been interested in reality shifting for several years now and i think i may have made a post on here before where i mentioned it or something and about how dissatisfied with this current reality i am and how i can never reach my full potential here. but i always seem to go back and forth between wanting to ctb to reality shift and live my "true real life" or thinking i can do it without having to ctb. recently i've been interested in psychedelics and the ability to maybe reality shift with them and i just wanted to come on here and ask if anyone has had a eye opening experiences with them or spiritual if you are a spiritual person. i just want some answers to my problems too and i thought maybe i could get some answers from something out there using them. idk if this makes any sense lol

if you'd like to reply to my ramblings feel free i really would like to hear what anyone has to say and if they can give me any advice or share their experiences i would love to hear them!

 

[OzymandiAsh]

Your post is probably better off in recovery, so maybe ask the mods to move it there?

As for the motivational issues, you sound very much like you have ADHD or are otherwise neurodivergent. What does motivate you / what do you enjoy?

Finally, about psychedelics, they can be great and I think everyone who is thinking about CTB should ideally try them first. They can give you real insights into your problems and emotions, and if you're lucky they can be healing or inspiring. However they are also a slippery slope and can at times be dangerous, bad trips do happen, and everyone gets along differently with psychedelics. They won't solve everything and life can still be just as challenging, punishing and full of shit.

Without them I would have CTB already, or at least made some very serious attempts, for sure. They did help but I'm still gonna CTB, I am much more at peace with this though. They can and do save many lives though so they're worth a go, just don't expect a total panacea.