I’m autistic and hate my life

[lameemo]

I just don't get it, why do people insist on making my life such a nightmare. i struggle with work, i struggle with school. all i do is struggle due to my disability yet i get no resources. i'm constantly told by the world to just suck it up, no empathy for my meltdowns.

like fuck what else can i say, i'm disabled. i work super hard, yet i break down after every short work week and i'm burnt out. so now i'm in skill regression so i'll struggle to shower and do basic task for days. HOW TF AM I SUPPOSED TO LIVE LIKE THIS AS AN ADULT??!!

i don't qualify for disability either and even if i did it's not anywhere near a living wage. i want to work, but cannot find a job to accommodate me that also pays a living wage. so fuck all of this, i wanted to live. i begged to live, i pulled my self up from depression.

i had a childhood that left me with nothing but bpd and cptsd, now i beg to live and the world won't let me. i refuse to suffer like this forever, i keep on trying but i have a plan. i have the SD sitting in the kitchen cabinet, waiting for the time.

i will never forget the worlds lack of empathy for the disabled. the world watches as i beg , i'm tired of begging to be treated like a human deserving of life.

 

[nobodycaresaboutme]

I relate
I'm autistic too, and first post too
some people appear to try to understand the neurodivergent but almost all of them don't offer genuine empathy or help. I've already reached the conclusion that neurotypicals never understand us.

I'm sorry you have to exist in this cruel society. you deserve better treatment and understanding

 

[User111885]

I just don't get it, why do people insist on making my life such a nightmare. i struggle with work, i struggle with school. all i do is struggle due to my disability yet i get no resources. i'm constantly told by the world to just suck it up, no empathy for my meltdowns.

like fuck what else can i say, i'm disabled. i work super hard, yet i break down after every short work week and i'm burnt out. so now i'm in skill regression so i'll struggle to shower and do basic task for days. HOW TF AM I SUPPOSED TO LIVE LIKE THIS AS AN ADULT??!!

i don't qualify for disability either and even if i did it's not anywhere near a living wage. i want to work, but cannot find a job to accommodate me that also pays a living wage. so fuck all of this, i wanted to live. i begged to live, i pulled my self up from depression.

i had a childhood that left me with nothing but bpd and cptsd, now i beg to live and the world won't let me. i refuse to suffer like this forever, i keep on trying but i have a plan. i have the SD sitting in the kitchen cabinet, waiting for the time.

i will never forget the worlds lack of empathy for the disabled. the world watches as i beg , i'm tired of begging to be treated like a human deserving of life.

I relate to this so much.

Those who are semi-disabled are truly fucked.

Semi-disabled means you can do a part-time job and be functional, but not a full-time job. People like that get no help and AND with everything so expensive have no way to pay for things.

I totally get it, right there with you. It absolutely sucks.

I've tried to fake it and do 40 hours only to break down, barely function, not do things like cook at all or shower or take out trash or ever see anyone. There is absolutely no place for us. And... Disability also pays barely anything and is not enough to live off of in any sort of decent way.

Yep, it fucking sucks. I'd like to work part time too possibly.

 

[StupidCat]

I'm not sure if I'm autistic but probably.
The moment I have to work a 'normal' job I will just kill myself.
I can't stand it, and like you do I break down when I do so.
People just expect us to suck it up. And I did, I'm not joining that, at least not for the time being.
I don't consider myself disabled. Funny how society considers whatever escapes from the money making machines as faulty.
I just want a solitary and peaceful life just enjoying my hobbies. But you know, capitalist hellhole and all of that.

 

[SchizoPolyGymnast]

I definitely think there is a huge amount of "autism is a different way of being/superpower" propaganda out there that sets wildly unrealistic expectations not just for us, but for those around us. My parents honestly expected that I would be a super genius and they're honestly disappointed that's not what they got. If I get asked one more time if I'm good at math, I may end it.

 

[StupidCat]

I definitely think there is a huge amount of "autism is a different way of being/superpower" propaganda out there that sets wildly unrealistic expectations not just for us, but for those around us. My parents honestly expected that I would be a super genius and they're honestly disappointed that's not what they got. If I get asked one more time if I'm good at math, I may end it.

Are you good at math

 

[ObsidianEnigma]

Autism is now understood as a spectrum

I definitely think there is a huge amount of "autism is a different way of being/superpower" propaganda out there that sets wildly unrealistic expectations not just for us, but for those around us. My parents honestly expected that I would be a super genius and they're honestly disappointed that's not what they got. If I get asked one more time if I'm good at math, I may end it.

Excellent observation. In reality, people with autism struggle more in formal education and they struggle more in 'standard' jobs. Expecting every autistic person to be a 'genius' is ridiculous. People with autism are as diverse as the general, neurotypical population.

What I especially dislike about jobs is office politics. I don't understand them, I don't know who likes whom, and all the intricate relationships between employees. I just want to do my job. I like clear instructions, clear expectations, and just focusing on the task, not the 'bullshit' around it.

 

[LetMeOut67]

I'm autistic too and have to spend most of my time alone it's so difficult
I feel that my life's been a fate worse than death

 

[nobodycaresaboutme]

I definitely think there is a huge amount of "autism is a different way of being/superpower" propaganda out there that sets wildly unrealistic expectations not just for us, but for those around us. My parents honestly expected that I would be a super genius and they're honestly disappointed that's not what they got. If I get asked one more time if I'm good at math, I may end it.

agree. it's sad that even autism organizations spread and perpetuate these unrealistic expectations. society will be harder and harder for those who are not "gifted"

 

[SchizoPolyGymnast]

agree. it's sad that even autism organizations spread and perpetuate this unrealistic expectations. society will be harder and harder for those who are not "gifted"

I'm gonna come right out and say it. I don't believe that most of these talking heads promoting these ideas actually had legitimate autism. It's like someone with a broken leg speaking for those with paraplegia.
Let's use common sense for two seconds. These people are claiming that they got advanced degrees, got married, had children, and are functioning on this super high level for decades at a time all while "masking" so well that no one knew they were autistic. Autism by its nature makes that level of masking next to impossible, and disability by definition involves major impairment in at least one basic life activity. You expect me to believe these people are disabled or autistic on any meaningful level? You expect me to look up to them and take their advice? Come on man.

 

[dylanoffline]

I just don't get it, why do people insist on making my life such a nightmare. i struggle with work, i struggle with school. all i do is struggle due to my disability yet i get no resources. i'm constantly told by the world to just suck it up, no empathy for my meltdowns.

like fuck what else can i say, i'm disabled. i work super hard, yet i break down after every short work week and i'm burnt out. so now i'm in skill regression so i'll struggle to shower and do basic task for days. HOW TF AM I SUPPOSED TO LIVE LIKE THIS AS AN ADULT??!!

i don't qualify for disability either and even if i did it's not anywhere near a living wage. i want to work, but cannot find a job to accommodate me that also pays a living wage. so fuck all of this, i wanted to live. i begged to live, i pulled my self up from depression.

i had a childhood that left me with nothing but bpd and cptsd, now i beg to live and the world won't let me. i refuse to suffer like this forever, i keep on trying but i have a plan. i have the SD sitting in the kitchen cabinet, waiting for the time.

i will never forget the worlds lack of empathy for the disabled. the world watches as i beg , i'm tired of begging to be treated like a human deserving of life.

Oh god I understand this so hard. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Well wishes <3

 

[FuneralCry]

It sounds like you've suffered so much, it's just so cruel and dreadful to me how many people just cause more suffering, I understand hating existing, I wish you the best.

 

[telekon]

Autism is now understood as a spectrum

Excellent observation. In reality, people with autism struggle more in formal education and they struggle more in 'standard' jobs. Expecting every autistic person to be a 'genius' is ridiculous. People with autism are as diverse as the general, neurotypical population.

What I especially dislike about jobs is office politics. I don't understand them, I don't know who likes whom, and all the intricate relationships between employees. I just want to do my job. I like clear instructions, clear expectations, and just focusing on the task, not the 'bullshit' around it.

That's an ethical failure on the office. You should absolutely be able to do just do your job without worrying about "office politics," but such is life, I suppose.

I'm gonna come right out and say it. I don't believe that most of these talking heads promoting these ideas actually had legitimate autism. It's like someone with a broken leg speaking for those with paraplegia.
Let's use common sense for two seconds. These people are claiming that they got advanced degrees, got married, had children, and are functioning on this super high level for decades at a time all while "masking" so well that no one knew they were autistic. Autism by its nature makes that level of masking next to impossible, and disability by definition involves major impairment in at least one basic life activity. You expect me to believe these people are disabled or autistic on any meaningful level? You expect me to look up to them and take their advice? Come on man.

In what generation though? I feel like I could have "made it" if I was born in a different time.