executioner1983
death is sustainable
- Oct 2, 2023
- 85
I'm a pretend person. I meander through cities I have no business being in. I walk like I have somewhere to be, but I don't; I never do. I fit in well, I look like I belong, but I don't, not really. I have no real problem with this. I like it this way. I call it wasting your tax dollars. Is it a little pathetic? Depends who you're asking. It is if you ask my father. He wouldn't ever say it out loud, but some day his care will curdle into pity. I'll grow older, and it won't be so cute anymore. The world runs on scarcity, he'll tell me. Money doesn't just grow on trees. Don't you want something for yourself? Don't you want to make something of yourself? I'd hate to see you wither away, never having left your home town.
What a load of bullshit. Will a new city make me whole? Will two, three degrees make what I have to say worth saying? Will a husband and kids complete me? I don't see the world the way you do. I don't care about things the way you do. I'm tired of people wanting me to curl and coil into shapes I can't hold. Maybe I'm a coward, maybe I'm a hermit in remission. Whatever I am, I am all of it in its entirety.
And it doesn't bother me one bit. I wake up slowly, I read in the sun. I pray before bed, I plant flowers in the garden. I'm a pretend person, and I'm very good at it.
What a load of bullshit. Will a new city make me whole? Will two, three degrees make what I have to say worth saying? Will a husband and kids complete me? I don't see the world the way you do. I don't care about things the way you do. I'm tired of people wanting me to curl and coil into shapes I can't hold. Maybe I'm a coward, maybe I'm a hermit in remission. Whatever I am, I am all of it in its entirety.
And it doesn't bother me one bit. I wake up slowly, I read in the sun. I pray before bed, I plant flowers in the garden. I'm a pretend person, and I'm very good at it.
