throwaway070806
Shameful Martyr
- May 5, 2025
- 18
After months of lurking I've decided to share the thoughts I've bottled up over the past 4 years of my life in a simple and straightforward way.
But I don't know where to begin, yet I want to know how to make it end.
I'm a coward. I'm afraid of people because I hate them. I hate society because it modelled me into a sick, SICK mistake.
I have so many things to do. It drives me crazy. It makes me burn out. It makes me break down in tears.
This last year of high school is making me hit places further than rock bottom.
I cry. I cry a lot. I'm too sensitive to live life like everyone else.
Why is everything so negative? Why am I getting caught in the crossfire? Why am I defined accomplice for a chaotic and senseless future?
Why do I hold back on killing myself? Why is this curse denying me from developing connections, reach for the wishes I've destined to strive for and refurbish my mental strength so I can become a better person?
I've ruined friendships because of my rage. Maybe I'm too violent. Maybe I bid for perfection. Maybe I'm just selfish like everyone else thinks.
Why can't I move on from my futile errors?
But I don't know where to begin, yet I want to know how to make it end.
I'm a coward. I'm afraid of people because I hate them. I hate society because it modelled me into a sick, SICK mistake.
I have so many things to do. It drives me crazy. It makes me burn out. It makes me break down in tears.
This last year of high school is making me hit places further than rock bottom.
I cry. I cry a lot. I'm too sensitive to live life like everyone else.
Why is everything so negative? Why am I getting caught in the crossfire? Why am I defined accomplice for a chaotic and senseless future?
Why do I hold back on killing myself? Why is this curse denying me from developing connections, reach for the wishes I've destined to strive for and refurbish my mental strength so I can become a better person?
I've ruined friendships because of my rage. Maybe I'm too violent. Maybe I bid for perfection. Maybe I'm just selfish like everyone else thinks.
Why can't I move on from my futile errors?
