I'm a Buddhist. I don't want a Christian funeral. I'm ok with no funeral at all.

[kdu0]

Do you think my dickass family would respect that if I left a note? I'm trying to tell my friends through hints because they would help me in that front, but I don't want them to find out.

 

[Stan]

When you look at it, funerals are mainly for the people that you leave behind. The only function it serves us is the disposal of the body in a way the state seems fit. If your parents are christian as well as any extended family, friends and community, there is a good chance that your wishes will be ignored. But to be honest, you will be dead, they could dress my corpse in a killer clown outfit and I won't care

 

[kdu0]

When you look at it, funerals are mainly for the people that you leave behind. The only function it serves us is the disposal of the body in a way the state seems fit. If your parents are christian as well as any extended family, friends and community, there is a good chance that your wishes will be ignored. But to be honest, you will be dead, they could dress my corpse in a killer clown outfit and I won't care

You're right. I'm an atheist, anyway.

 

[kdu0]

When you look at it, funerals are mainly for the people that you leave behind. The only function it serves us is the disposal of the body in a way the state seems fit. If your parents are christian as well as any extended family, friends and community, there is a good chance that your wishes will be ignored. But to be honest, you will be dead, they could dress my corpse in a killer clown outfit and I won't care

It's just that... Just imagining the fake tears of people who physically and sexually abused me over those years... It makes me so angry.

I'm more surprised that you, being currently religious/spiritual, you're not freaked out about kill yourself considering virtually all religions condemn suicide.
I'm ignorant on Buddhism's rules on reincarnation so maybe you aren't eternally fucked if you succeed in ctb if Buddhism is true.

That aside...funerals are yet another thing out of the suicidal's control: you want a specific one, none, etc it's all unlikely the dickass family would respect it.

Good "luck" and sorry you're here.

Buddhism is about compassion. We don't have dogmas like other religions. I 100% believe that it's compassionate to allow someone who's being suffering that much to end their life. There are no dogmas.

 

[Stan]

It's just that... Just imagining the fake tears of people who physically and sexually abused me over those years... It makes me so angry.

I am truly sorry you went through that. Even more reason to not to let that cloud your thinking in any way, its futile and a waste of your energy

 

[Liveandlearnagain]

While we really should "respect the wishes of those who have died" in reality the funeral is not for you, it's for the people at the funeral. There is no you at that point. You are gone. And so while I would hope people would respect wishes, I know for a fact they often don't.

As for "wishing I didn't have a funeral at all", man, this is the 100,000th time I've heard a suicidal person say that. You are kidding yourself.

Unless you are totally alone, with no kin, no children, no parents, no friends, no family, no neighbors that know you, no coworkers (there are a few people out there like this, but it's rare) there WILL be a funeral for you. It's so naive to think otherwise. But we've all been there, during depression as a teen I believed "I'd have no funeral probably".

As a grown adult you need to know, there will always be a funeral. Always. What else are they supposed to do?

The police will come to your parent's/spouse's/next of kin's door and tell them you are dead.

Will they say "Welp, that's shitty!" And just go to work the next day and continue life???

There is always a funeral. Rare exceptions. Someone has to pay for it too unless you left money. Could be anywhere from a few grand to $10k. Funeral homes rip people off when they are in emotional states, particularly with suicide. Nobody knows any better. I mean, when was the last time any of us paid for a funeral? What's a good price? The financially savvy elderly will pay for their funeral ahead of time, when they are in their 80s or 90s, and try to work out a good deal, just like at the car dealership.

Most people weren't expecting your death, and they didn't likely have 6K ready to spend at the Funeral home, but they can't say no. The coroner delivers the body to a funeral home once you are pronounced dead. So your loved ones will be getting effed by the payment plan, probably paying off over months or years, ultimately paying much more as a total price.

But you can't really be financially savvy and go to the funeral home ahead of time. If you have the ability, leaving some money behind would help out your folks or your family.

But most people don't so, it is what it is.

 

[kdu0]

Ok, but if I specifically mention in my suicide note that I don't want one and convince everyone to fight for me?

 

[Wayfaerer]

You could have it notorized in a legally-binding will but it sounds like you're going to be CTB very soon.

Are you worried that suicide is considered bad karma? I'm an atheist as well but I don't believe in reincarnation.

 

[Stan]

you answered your own question in a way when you first posed the question. We don't know your family so only you can answer that

 

[kdu0]

You could have it notorized in a legally-binding will but it sounds like you're going to be CTB very soon.

Are you worried that suicide is considered bad karma?

No, I'm Zen. It's more "nihilistic" compared to the new age/Chinese variations;

 

[Wayfaerer]

No, I'm Zen. It's more "nihilistic" compared to the new age/Chinese variations;

That's interesting. I wasn't aware that is what zen buddhists believed in.

 

[toomuchgrief]

I'm in the rare type here, opposite of what Liveandlearnagain said.

I have no kin, my one and only son died at 16 months. This toddler was my only reason for survival, and he has left me earlier this year, I have nothing to live for now.

I was raised by a single mom, my mom died young, then my grandma raised me, and my grandma also has died.

No friends, actually I have a friend, but friend has friend's own family, and definately not close enough to do a funeral for me.

I plan my dead of jump down a 1,000 feet (300 meters) free fall, chances are I will be crush to rocks or hard concrete, so yeah. My only wish is I get to reunited with my son on the other side when I CTB.
Since I have no kin, they will just throw my body in the fridge and then will cremate me I guess.

What your method of go OP kdu0?

oh and I'm Buddhist too, Buddha never say it a sin to suicide. However it a sin if you have parents and you leave them behind and not fulfill your "filial" duty. Buddhism very strong in filial, to those who gave birth to us.
eta: How you think your parents will take your death kdu0?

 

[Liveandlearnagain]

Ok, but if I specifically mention in my suicide note that I don't want one and convince everyone to fight for me?

You don't really have control over this. You would not be alive to control what happens. People around you will make those decisions. I guess you'd have to answer that, do you really trust them? Most people would be pretty embarrassed to not have a ceremony for their kid or spouse or parent or whatever relationship you play to someone. They will have one. You are not the first person to request this in a suicide note. They will chalk it up to "he was mentally ill, he didn't know what he was thinking" and give you a regular funeral.

Your body, whether cremated or placed in a casket, needs to go somewhere. They can't just magically make your body disappear. It costs money to get the machinery to dig a plot at a cemetery of choice. It also costs money to arrange a cremation service. Those are your options, unless you have a family plot.

There are laws surrounding this. You can't just Chuck a dead body into the woods. It has to be buried or cremated to certain standards. People have no control over that. And yes, whether they lower you into the ground or receive an urn, a few words will be said. That, in essence, is a funeral.

What do you think they are going to tell everyone? "Well he didn't want a funeral so we're just gonna go back to watching TV and then go to work tomorrow. Might see a movie this weekend."

They can't. They're human. Again, it's for them. Not you.

Truthfully, what do you care? You're long gone at that point.

I do understand the desire to have your death handled a certain way but you'd be better off planning out how they have the funeral, not how to not have one.

 

[kdu0]

Ok, I get, they won't care.
Ok. O get. They don't care. That's why maybe I should be a bit more aggressive (and public) in my notes

I'm in the rare type here, opposite of what Liveandlearnagain said.

I have no kin, my one and only son died at 16 months. This toddler was my only reason for survival, and he has left me earlier this year, I have nothing to live for now.

I was raised by a single mom, my mom died young, then my grandma raised me and my grandma also has died.

No friends, actually I have a friend, but friend has friend's own family, and definately not close enough to do a funeral for me.

I plan my dead of jump down a 1,000 feet (300 meters) free fall, chances are I be crush to the rocks or hard concrete, so yeah. My only wish is I get to reunited with my son on the other side when I CTB.

What your method of go OP kdu0?

oh and I'm Buddhist too, Buddha never say it a sin to suicide. However it a sin if you have parents and you leave them behind and not fulfill your "filial" duty. Buddhism very strong in filial, to those who gave birth to us.

From what I've read here, SN seems viable.

You don't really have control over this. You would not be alive to control what happens. People around you will make those decisions. I guess you'd have to answer that, do you really trust them? Most people would be pretty embarrassed to not have a ceremony for their kid or spouse or parent or whatever relationship you play to someone. They will have one. You are not the first person to request this in a suicide note. They will chalk it up to "he was mentally ill, he didn't know what he was thinking" and give you a regular funeral.

Your body, whether cremated or placed in a casket, needs to go somewhere. They can't just magically make your body disappear. It costs money to get the machinery to dig a plot at a cemetery of choice. It also costs money to arrange a cremation service. Those are your options, unless you have a family plot.

There are laws surrounding this. You can't just Chuck a dead body into the woods. It has to be buried or cremated to certain standards. People have no control over that. And yes, whether they lower you into the ground or receive an urn, a few words will be said. That, in essence, is a funeral.

What do you think they are going to tell everyone? "Well he didn't want a funeral so we're just gonna go back to watching TV and then go to work tomorrow. Might see a movie this weekend."

They can't. They're human. Again, it's for them. Not you.

Truthfully, what do you care? You're long gone at that point.

I'd like to respect tradition and be cremated through Buddhist customs.

I'm in the rare type here, opposite of what Liveandlearnagain said.

I have no kin, my one and only son died at 16 months. This toddler was my only reason for survival, and he has left me earlier this year, I have nothing to live for now.

I was raised by a single mom, my mom died young, then my grandma raised me, and my grandma also has died.

No friends, actually I have a friend, but friend has friend's own family, and definately not close enough to do a funeral for me.

I plan my dead of jump down a 1,000 feet (300 meters) free fall, chances are I will be crush to rocks or hard concrete, so yeah. My only wish is I get to reunited with my son on the other side when I CTB.

What your method of go OP kdu0?

oh and I'm Buddhist too, Buddha never say it a sin to suicide. However it a sin if you have parents and you leave them behind and not fulfill your "filial" duty. Buddhism very strong in filial, to those who gave birth to us. How you think your parents will take your death kdu0?

Well, I'm sorry about that. I think We're all fucked up here. So I don't know who to say sorry to. Or if i'm offending you by telling you I'm sorry. Anyway, you have us now, right?
.

 

[Liveandlearnagain]

From what I've read here, SN seems viable.


I'd like to respect tradition and be cremated through Buddhist customs.


Well, I'm sorry about that. I think We're all fucked up here. So I don't know who to say sorry to. Or if i'm offending you by telling you I'm sorry. Anyway, you have us now, right?

It's up to the people around you. If they respect it, and respect you, they will do it for you.

Some people have no respect, so it's really up to whether or not they feel that it's the right thing to do.

I know if you are a teenager, for example, and your parents are the ones arranging the funeral and are Christian, it's up to what kind of people they are.

The funeral director will ask them how to carry out the ceremony. It's up to them in that moment to say "we're Christian so we would like a pastor, etc" or "we'd like to respect their wishes". If they don't know Buddhist customs though, you'd better leave instructions or they'll have no idea how to do it.

 

[kdu0]

It's up to the people around you. If they respect it, and respect you, they will do it for you.

Some people have no respect, so it's really up to whether or not they feel that it's the right thing to do.

I know if you are a teenager, for example, and your parents are the ones arranging the funeral and are Christian, it's up to what kind of people they are.

The funeral director will ask them how to carry out the ceremony. It's up to them in that moment to say "we're Christian so we would like a pastor, etc" or "we'd like to respect their wishes". If they don't know Buddhist customs though, you'd better leave instructions or they'll have no idea how to do it.

I'm 26, does that chance anything?

It's up to the people around you. If they respect it, and respect you, they will do it for you.

Some people have no respect, so it's really up to whether or not they feel that it's the right thing to do.

I know if you are a teenager, for example, and your parents are the ones arranging the funeral and are Christian, it's up to what kind of people they are.

The funeral director will ask them how to carry out the ceremony. It's up to them in that moment to say "we're Christian so we would like a pastor, etc" or "we'd like to respect their wishes". If they don't know Buddhist customs though, you'd better leave instructions or they'll have no idea how to do it.

They're not fanatic Christians, though.

 

[Stan]

you are asking the same question over and over but not sure you are listening to the answers.

 

[Liveandlearnagain]

I'm 26, does that chance anything?


They're not fanatic Christians, though.

It really depends on the relationship you have with your parents. I can't predict the future, so all you can do is hope.

The hardest part is that you'll never know, because you wouldn't be around to find out.

 

[kdu0]

tl;dr I'm a financial advisor and worked for a huge company as soon as I graduated.
I had a fight with my manager who was homophobic and was forced to talk about it to the girl from human resources (the "psychologist")
I was fired for no apparent reason and I've never been able to find a job since, except freelancing.

you are asking the same question over and over but not sure you are listening to the answers.

Sorry about that. From what I could figure, it won't make a difference.

 

[Alchemist]

As already said by others, we can't control what other's do with our remains, which will be whatever the law tells them to do.

I have spoken before on how all the funeral industry and keepong the remains is silly.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/what-to-do-with-human-remains.15402/

 

[kdu0]

It's going to be much harder than I can think. I'm going to have to give *hints* to my monk about it, as well as to my Buddhist friends. Maybe that will help. Or it's not. I'm tired. I don't have the energy to do this, though. But I'll try.

I'm in the rare type here, opposite of what Liveandlearnagain said.

I have no kin, my one and only son died at 16 months. This toddler was my only reason for survival, and he has left me earlier this year, I have nothing to live for now.

I was raised by a single mom, my mom died young, then my grandma raised me, and my grandma also has died.

No friends, actually I have a friend, but friend has friend's own family, and definately not close enough to do a funeral for me.

I plan my dead of jump down a 1,000 feet (300 meters) free fall, chances are I will be crush to rocks or hard concrete, so yeah. My only wish is I get to reunited with my son on the other side when I CTB.
Since I have no kin, they will just throw my body in the fridge and then will cremate me I guess.

What your method of go OP kdu0?

oh and I'm Buddhist too, Buddha never say it a sin to suicide. However it a sin if you have parents and you leave them behind and not fulfill your "filial" duty. Buddhism very strong in filial, to those who gave birth to us.
eta: How you think your parents will take your death kdu0?

Sorry, just noticed your question about my death right now. My father has two ex-wives who killed themselves (one of them including my mom). I don't have a mother, but I had when I was a kid, and she was the loveliest person ever. I don't think he's gonna care. I think he's gonna pretend. It's nothing new to him. He's an addict, btw.
I don't think "sin" applies to Buddhism, at least not to zen Buddhism.