Venting I'll miss her if I die

[KattinKai!]

I'll miss my girlfriend if I die. I don't want her to be alone... I love her so much, and she loves me the same, even if I hurt her.

 

[YourLocalSadGirly]

I know firsthand how bad it is to lose a partner to suicide. It hurt me more than any other mental pain I've ever experienced. If you want to die then that's your right as a human being but please think about how it will affect her before you do it. At worst it may cause her to also consider suicide. There are several cases even just on this site of someone's partner dying by suicide, and then causing them to also commit suicide. Maybe try discussing your feelings with her and see how she reacts? Unless you think things won't go well. Also I'm always willing to talk btw just dm me on here if you want to.

 

[itsnotokayy!22]

I'll miss my girlfriend if I die. I don't want her to be alone... I love her so much, and she loves me the same, even if I hurt her.

Im in the same predicament...

 

[Gonk]

I can not say anything for certain but, if you believe your relation is one that real and worth for you to think... I don't believe it is hard to arrive into conclusion that you may need to see another day.

Forgive me, please. I am really sorry. But... yes... You'll miss her if you leave this world that way...

Please consider second post's advices, can you do it for her, if not for yourself at the moment?

 

[shiftingtendons]

same... i try thinking about my bf, how i would miss him (and how i want to believe he would miss me too)
try thinking about howd she feel, maybe? maybe come up with date ideas with her, spend more time with her, try things that warm your heart. and definitely discuss your feelings with her! it's important that she understands your needs, and it's important that you accept her help too

 

[KattinKai!]

I've read the comments, and in short, my girlfriend is the only person that understands me. She accepts me as a trans individual, and not in a chaser aspect either, but the reason I want to die is because of C-PTSD reasons, in which I've experienced parental physical abuse, verbal abuse, mental abuse, family dysfunction, familial sexual harassment (groping, unwanted physical contact, unwanted comments about my body), and school misconduct of my autism. I hate being me because I feel more different than any other person. I look at my siblings, and I feel envy that they never get held down, but then they get yelled at and swore at. I only have my girlfriend, and I can't say much about her. All I can say is we understand each other on a huge level. It makes me cry everytime she's hurting, or even, angry at what has caused it. Even when I'm not the best towards her, we talk about it in a way to understand each other. She let me scream one time on a call when I needed to get emotions out. I didn't scream at her, it breaks my heart at the thought of it. But she let me scream about what was bothering me. There's only really one way I could consider CTB then, by that means. If she were to ever die, to get hurt in a way at all, then whoever hurt her won't get away with iy, and if she's dead, then I'd join her by shooting myself.

 

[KattinKai!]

I'd do anything for her, I can't help but want to live for her despite the pain

I can not say anything for certain but, if you believe your relation is one that real and worth for you to think... I don't believe it is hard to arrive into conclusion that you may need to see another day.

Forgive me, please. I am really sorry. But... yes... You'll miss her if you leave this world that way...

Please consider second post's advices, can you do it for her, if not for yourself at the moment