ignoring my future bc of CTB

[blahblahuser1174]

i keep thinking about things I'll have to deal with in a couple months, like having to get recommendation letters, and i'm like "oh i don't have to worry about that bc i'll be dead." But what if i don't get the courage to CTB? does anyone else have this problem where they use CTB as kind of a toxic coping mechanism to avoid dealing with the future?

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

Most certainly. It's insane and highly self destructive. That said, CTB seems awful but inevitable.

 

[G_Man]

Me too. In February I have to go to school and I'm not excited at all. I am tired of having to deal with my school. So yes, the thought of ctb for me is a way to avoid the future.

 

[Crazy4u]

I suggest you get the letters whether you ctb or not. Good luck!

 

[Interloper]

Yup, ship's sinking and hopefully by the time it's at rock bottom, it will be the final push I need.

 

[FuneralCry]

Yes, I have so much dread associated with the future. Things can only get worse for me. Thinking of my death can be comforting, as once I am dead I will be free from everything that causes me to be stressed but I just wish it was easier to get there. I deserve a peaceful death, I deserve to be free from this horrible life.

 

[Noctis]

Absolutely. I've avoided doing lots of things that would've helped me be successful (and maybe even happy) because "I'm probably going to kill myself this year."

I've been saying that for like 15 years. Don't fall into that trap.

 

[Feeding Pigeons]

Absolutely. I've avoided doing lots of things that would've helped me be successful (and maybe even happy) because "I'm probably going to kill myself this year."

I've been saying that for like 15 years. Don't fall into that trap.

Same.

I try to calm myself down every day by telling myself that it will be over soon. Huge coping mechanism.

 

[death137]

The thought of ctb soon has some responsibility why I've been self destructive during the past 5-6 years. But being in hell take the majority responsibility. I see it like "I put my life in a bag and took it near a window because of life hell. Then I throw away the bag out of the window because of life hell and the thought of ctb".

 

[greencondo]

If you put off something for your future (the letters for instance), and that future arrives with you alive, You will most likely regret what you blew off.
On the other hand, if you do said task and you end up not around/alive, no regret will be felt.