Venting If you're planning on going soon, how are you feeling?

[LuzurPhagget]

I've heard that bs so much, so I guess I attracted all the abusive people into my life or I even get the karma from a past life from a family member and friends. How can a person have so little empathy? My comeback is usually about people with things out of their control having terrible things happen kids with cancer, people that have medical issues (the fact it was used against you is disgusting), people in countries that lack the resources they need. No one can think themselves into a better situation, we even have the science that backs that up. I think the reason why is because people seeing other people suffer is taken different ways. My husband said the stuff that happened when we were together was God making me suffer for a higher purpose. And a lot of people look at people going through things as a character flaw instead of looking at the surrounding situation and the people that do make it are just lucky or already have connections in the world.

Lol, I've actually seen a psychic who said I was a pretty bad person in my last life, hence why there's a lot of negativity in my current life. Lol, fucking prick. Why should any of us be punished for past life shit if we can't even fucking remember it? Well, it's all bullshit anyway. If that's the way this life truly works, then that gives me relief to no longer be part of it.

I think that "law of attraction" can be kind of counterproductive and even dangerous. We live in a physical world bound by observable, quantifiable laws. I do believe in willpower and positivity, but sometimes, you just gotta cut your fucking losses. Those pompous, positive pricks think they've unlocked secrets of the universe, how everything works and how everything is solvable. Jerks.

 

[ChristopherWalken]

Angry- That I'm pushed to this point with no better alternative by this cruel world
Sad- That I'll be hurting my family and my kids and won't ever be able to help them again
Jealous- That I won't get to see what the future holds even though I know it's getting worse I'd still like to sit and watch the world burn and what new tech arises
Afraid- Of dying. Of nothingness or hell lying waiting for me on the other side.

 

[LuzurPhagget]

Fuuuuck! Apparently, my father suddenly got an oncall job to do today and left before I got a chance to see him off and apparently he won't come back till this Friday or Saturday! (My D-weekend). Are you fucking kidding me!?! So I suppose I won't be able to say bye to him.

The guy is pretty much retired, but he's got an unitchable itch up his ass that prevents him from simply enjoying his retirement and not work. My parents are ridiculously religious and God-fearing. This one time in my teenage years, I asked him what was the point of doing some needless, busybody, exhsusting menial work around the house and he actually replied "So we won't be tempted to sin." Lmao, Are you fucking kidding me??? They're such weirdo, miserable freaks. I didn't have a chance under them. And with their genes.

Fuck it, I think I'm still gonna go through with it. This is the second time he's done this. I don't even really care to see him off. I just thought it was the "decent" thing to do. But I really couldn't care less. I CAN'T stay another week. Fuck.

 

[bigj75]

I'm terrified. I'm at odds with my mother right now and I don't want to die hating her. But she's making it kind of impossibke for me to forgive her for physically hurting me while I'm already sick with a painful nerve disease. I'm angry, depressed, disgusted, and confused.

Wtf. she hit you or something?

 

[passenger27]

I'm torn between clinging to fake happiness and anxious to just let go of the real things that got me to this point in the 1st place.

It's easier, and way less painful, to just let go. I don't see anything wrong with that.

 

[justwannadie]

I'm scared. I'm terrified of not being able to do it. It's all I want, but I'm scared of SI kicking in. I'm so tired of hesitating and delaying it. I know I'm going to do it but I want to be calm and at peace with my choice in my last moments. I don't want to be filled with fear and doubt like my first attempt. I had to force myself to do it (I survived, obviously) and I don't want it to feel like that the final time. I hate being alive. I'm so depressed and so anxious all the time, but when the moment comes, and you're aware you're about to die, and that it's permanent, and you might be greeted by eternal nothingness, blackness, it's hard to get your brain to accept that. I want to feel that sense of calm and carefree-ness that I first felt when I decided I was going to kill myself. That feeling was the most peaceful feeling in the world. I'm scared of feeling afraid and hesitant on my last day.