If you suddenly couldn’t get a hold of someone that you’d known for years and were on good terms with, what would you assume?

[Weebster]

If you knew their full name and phone number, would you ever be able to find out what happened even if you didn't know the same people?

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

If they go missing if even one soul in the world cares about them they will be in the paper for that

If they die they'll be in the paper for that as well

 

[CommitSudoku]

Depends on the person. I've known some people for whom I would assume the worst, and others who were doing well so I'd just assume they no longer had a place for me in their life. At this point I wouldn't find out, since I will most likely go first and I'm no longer really close enough to anyone that I would be notified. Also I've tended to connect in such ways that I myself cannot be followed or contacted, so it goes both ways that no one could know what happened to me and I wouldn't know what happened to them.

One friend used to always tell me I couldn't die before her, I'm not in contact with her since I decided to go first, and I hope she'll live on and find happiness, I wish the same for everyone I've interacted with really.

@Weebster what about you?

 

[Weebster]

If they go missing if even one soul in the world cares about them they will be in the paper for that

If they die they'll be in the paper for that as well

So all the person would have to do is google the name and the article would appear?

Depends on the person. I've known some people for whom I would assume the worst, and others who were doing well so I'd just assume they no longer had a place for me in their life. At this point I wouldn't find out, since I will most likely go first and I'm no longer really close enough to anyone that I would be notified. Also I've tended to connect in such ways that I myself cannot be followed or contacted, so it goes both ways that no one could know what happened to me and I wouldn't know what happened to them.

One friend used to always tell me I couldn't die before her, I'm not in contact with her since I decided to go first, and I hope she'll live on and find happiness, I wish the same for everyone I've interacted with really.

@Weebster what about you?

I asked because I'm curious if a friend of mine would ever find out and not assume I've ghosted.

 

[CommitSudoku]

I asked because I'm curious if a friend of mine would ever find out and not assume I've ghosted.

If you've given any indication of your intents then they might have a feeling, how close you are might influence if they found out. Some of that depends on those who live on and knew us as well, like for me my parents could reach out to contacts I have in my phone that they don't know - but I doubt they would unless one of them texted me (which isn't too likely for most). So there are a decent number of factors. Does it comfort you more if they could find out or would you rather they assume you've ghosted them?

Some people I've left knew about my depression and even desire to die, so I think some of them would assume. But others I didn't give much indication to and let the relationship die naturally so I doubt they'd assume the worst.

 

[Weebster]

If you've given any indication of your intents then they might have a feeling, how close you are might influence if they found out. Some of that depends on those who live on and knew us as well, like for me my parents could reach out to contacts I have in my phone that they don't know - but I doubt they would unless one of them texted me (which isn't too likely for most). So there are a decent number of factors. Does it comfort you more if they could find out or would you rather they assume you've ghosted them?

Some people I've left knew about my depression and even desire to die, so I think some of them would assume. But others I didn't give much indication to and let the relationship die naturally so I doubt they'd assume the worst.

My friend knows that my life has been hard. Isn't your phone locked? I would rather my friend know because ghosting is sad.

 

[waitingforrest]

I always assumed the worst, but sometimes I actually get closure from common friends on what happened. Turned out to be even worse, they secretly hated me.

But if someone died, searching up their name on obituary sites often gives answers.

 

[Weebster]

I always assumed the worst, but sometimes I actually get closure from common friends on what happened. Turned out to be even worse, they secretly hated me.

But if someone died, searching up their name on obituary sites often gives answers.

What if the name is common?

 

[CommitSudoku]

My friend knows that my life has been hard. Isn't your phone locked? I would rather my friend know because ghosting is sad.

My phone has a pretty simple lock because I'm lazy. I've even written down how to get in to it before since I have several notes with vague wishes to follow after I die in it, including people to potentially contact/never tell. I've come to a point I don't really care too much what happens after I die, and it might give an insight that could help my family in coping since they don't know a lot about me.

If your friend knows that about your past and you're on good terms and you suddenly disappear, I'd be inclined to think they'll worry something has happened to you, that's how I was in the past when I had more people in my life anyways.

 

[waitingforrest]

What if the name is common?

I guess you can try to match it with their relative age if you know it or try searching only in the year range from when you last saw them to now.

If you have Facebook, it can often recomend people you might know, creepy. Facebook is notorious for having a lot of info on people.

 

[Weebster]

My phone has a pretty simple lock because I'm lazy. I've even written down how to get in to it before since I have several notes with vague wishes to follow after I die in it, including people to potentially contact/never tell. I've come to a point I don't really care too much what happens after I die, and it might give an insight that could help my family in coping since they don't know a lot about me.

If your friend knows that about your past and you're on good terms and you suddenly disappear, I'd be inclined to think they'll worry something has happened to you, that's how I was in the past when I had more people in my life anyways.

If the worry is strong enough, could she find out specifics with my name and number?

I guess you can try to match it with their relative age if you know it or try searching only in the year range from when you last saw them to now.

If you have Facebook, it can often recomend people you might know, creepy. Facebook is notorious for having a lot of info on people.

Not on FB. So mostly they could just guess. That's kinda sad

 

[CommitSudoku]

If the worry is strong enough, could she find out specifics with my name and number?

Does she know both your real first and last name? Does she know your general or specific location where you live? You don't have to answer but those can be used in addition to the year plus your date of birth (or just age in general) to try looking up obituaries and pinpointing them even if your name is common. Or even just to try to find general stories published about someone. If there's a will, there's a way sometimes. On many phones, or at least mine, I can accept calls even when the screen is locked and I don't believe I have to unlock it to answer so it's possible she could try to call. If anyone answered after the fact they could tell her. These are all just possibilities and depend on how far she would potentially take searching to get answers. If we have enough information we can certainly find ways to track people down. You can even look up phone numbers and try to get more information from them. Area codes in phone numbers give away our location in some ways so again part of it would be to what extent she searched but with enough knowledge and effort we can find out a lot. Sorry for such a long-winded answer.

 

[Weebster]

Does she know both your real first and last name? Does she know your general or specific location where you live? You don't have to answer but those can be used in addition to the year plus your date of birth (or just age in general) to try looking up obituaries and pinpointing them even if your name is common. Or even just to try to find general stories published about someone. If there's a will, there's a way sometimes. On many phones, or at least mine, I can accept calls even when the screen is locked and I don't believe I have to unlock it to answer so it's possible she could try to call. If anyone answered after the fact they could tell her. These are all just possibilities and depend on how far she would potentially take searching to get answers. If we have enough information we can certainly find ways to track people down. You can even look up phone numbers and try to get more information from them. Area codes in phone numbers give away our location in some ways so again part of it would be to what extent she searched but with enough knowledge and effort we can find out a lot. Sorry for such a long-winded answer.

No it was a good answer. Have you ever had friends you were close to just disappear one day?

 

[CommitSudoku]

No it was a good answer. Have you ever had friends you were close to just disappear one day?

Yes but not permanently. I've had people disappear for days or however long, the worst was when the girl I like stopped texting after she had told me she was in an accident. That really messed me up but eventually she responded. I know enough about her that I'd look her up or try to get in contact with relatives if it had gone on for longer than it did, I only didn't since that was after she ghosted me the first time so I had lost my confidence and assumed she just didn't like talking to me. Another friend I mentioned here too disappeared for a long while before which made me very nervous but she's strong so I waited and just would text until luckily she came back. She wasn't the type to leave on a bad note and we were on good terms that's why I jumped to worrying over assuming she disliked me; there was no reason to assume the latter but there was reason to assume the former.

 

[Weebster]

Yes but not permanently. I've had people disappear for days or however long, the worst was when the girl I like stopped texting after she had told me she was in an accident. That really messed me up but eventually she responded. I know enough about her that I'd look her up or try to get in contact with relatives if it had gone on for longer than it did, I only didn't since that was after she ghosted me the first time so I had lost my confidence and assumed she just didn't like talking to me. Another friend I mentioned here too disappeared for a long while before which made me very nervous but she's strong so I waited and just would text until luckily she came back. She wasn't the type to leave on a bad note and we were on good terms that's why I jumped to worrying over assuming she disliked me; there was no reason to assume the latter but there was reason to assume the former.

Do you have abandonment issues? I do and you respond to situations like I would.

 

[CommitSudoku]

Do you have abandonment issues? I do and you respond to situations like I would.

I'm sure I do. Goes both ways too, I fear being abandoned and then become the thing I hate and abandon others. Perhaps it's hard not to have these issues when our end goal will have us leave everyone including ourselves. I wish you luck with your friend, it seems you really treasure her and that's an amazing thing.

 

[unkuto]

One of my good friends tend to go "missing" for months or half year. We only speak online and often he doesn't feel like talking or interacting to anyone for a while.
I'm kinda used to it and I never bother him. Because I know once he'll be okay he'll reach me out.

I know it's not just me because he doesn't speak to other people as well during these "periods".

 

[CommitSudoku]

Is it a rare thing?

What do you mean?