alivefornow
thinking about it
- Feb 6, 2023
- 166
I think this is one of the most stupid lines about suicide I've ever heard. I have severe depression. I deal with this shit on a daily basis. I cannot see a future in which I am happy or feel good about myself. It hurts.
I just can't end my life because that would most likely involve an act of great self-violence I am unable to carry. I got caught with SN this year and spent 4 months in a psych ward.
I have to stay alive because people would suffer if I died. So I have to endure a life of unrelenting sadness, feelings of defeat and suicidal thoughts.
I feel trapped because I don't have the right to die in a non-violent way. I don't think anyone I know, including my therapist and my psychiatrist, understands the way I feel about my life and how much I want it to end. This forum is the only place I feel understood. There is no recovery from the bottomless pit of pain and sadness I've fallen into. Only I know this to be true.
Maybe if things had gone a little different in my past? But I have a disorder. What difference would it make when depression is firmly rooted inside me? I don't want to spend my life fighting my own head, I just want out.
I just can't end my life because that would most likely involve an act of great self-violence I am unable to carry. I got caught with SN this year and spent 4 months in a psych ward.
I have to stay alive because people would suffer if I died. So I have to endure a life of unrelenting sadness, feelings of defeat and suicidal thoughts.
I feel trapped because I don't have the right to die in a non-violent way. I don't think anyone I know, including my therapist and my psychiatrist, understands the way I feel about my life and how much I want it to end. This forum is the only place I feel understood. There is no recovery from the bottomless pit of pain and sadness I've fallen into. Only I know this to be true.
Maybe if things had gone a little different in my past? But I have a disorder. What difference would it make when depression is firmly rooted inside me? I don't want to spend my life fighting my own head, I just want out.