Discussion If you have depression, do you have a clear idea of what caused it?

[sunnysidedown]

If you have depression, do you clearly know what caused it /triggered it in the first place- whether trauma, biological, or any other circumstances?

 

[Leavesfromthevine]

I wish I knew maybe it would've been easier to deal with. I've struggled with it for as long as I can remember.

 

[hikikomorizombie]

most def was brought on by the environment i grew up in + traumatic events that happened to me, along w parental neglect/failure to get help for my mental illnesses sooner. or it was bound to happen due to genetics, but was significantly exacerbated by outside factors

 

[Ludivinicus]

Girl I've been with stopped talking to me. Nobody even looks at my direction, I'm ugly on the outside and in the inside.

 

[Buildingsandcastles]

After a TBI/concussion at 8....yet no one put it together until much later somehow. Genetics also didn't help.

 

[WeakWeave]

Probably caused by friends abandoning me, or other mental issues.

 

[dreambound]

in many cases it seems that an overwhelming series of events going wrong, that appears to the person to be more than coincidental
or unreasonable in the scheme of things.
---that's probably not explained very well......

 

[betternever2havbeen]

I think I have rational reasons to be depressed now but as a kid I was pretty miserable and withdrawn for no reason. It was clear I wasn't having as much fun as the other kids. I had an idyllic childhood for the most part and I knew I was lucky but I've just always hated being ME. I can't put my finger on why, especially when most people seem to be quite content being themselves-that's a crazy concept to me. Nothing can fill whatever void I have, I know I'll never be happy.

 

[Rev346]

I was definitely depressed in high school but I really started getting over everything and was extremely optimistic about the future when I was in grad school. Then I got chronic back pain and strains and lost my only escape, BJJ and MMA. Now I can't trust my body so it's like living in a prison.

 

[Final_Choice]

Several things, biggest ones are things I can't change but make life so difficult and horrible to live. But I can identify all of them, how much of an affect they have on my, and if they can be solved or not.

 

[Hollowman]

After a TBI/concussion at 8....yet no one put it together until much later somehow. Genetics also didn't help.

Same here except I was 10

 

[TheSpookyNameGuy]

After a TBI/concussion at 8....yet no one put it together until much later somehow. Genetics also didn't help.

Damn, not far off like me.

Had a massive blow to the head once aroundish same age, mentally numb after it happened, it never went away.

 

[Manfrotto99]

Childhood neglect, controlling, narcissistic abusive parents and golden child sibling who always blamed and put me down, causing very low self esteem, poor self worth, self blame, loneliness, withdrawal, pessimism and self sabotage throughout my childhood and teenage years and beyond. This together with my sensitive, empathetic, introverted nature and lower than average looks and heriditory tremor, set me up a lifetime of constant failure, rejection, abuse, losses, missed opportunities and wrong choices...all resulting in severe lifelong chronic depression.

My naivety and lack of intelligence didn't help either - I placed all blame on myself for years and as it took me decades to work out, but is quite simple to understand really.

 

[Major Tom]

For me it is mainly, TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury) as infant because of my parents, toxic relationships between parents, ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Syndrome), potential ASD (Asperger Spectrum Disorder), bullying partly because of race, living paycheck to paycheck, relative poverty especially if you where on a public school for the "educational elite", isolation, having your grandfathers family home expropriated, while other half of the family is really RICH. But i still feel like a fraud about it, like i don't deserve to die and have to live, because my conditions are not as bad as others, who have it far worse.

 

[BlockHammer]

The main reason was my inability to got a job, being financially independent is one of my goal but because of my mediocore brain, no one would hire me and also seeing my friend already got a job and one of them being accepted at a international coorporation just deepened my depression

I tried to do something else while job hunting but it's been over 1 year since im graduating and im still stuck in this place

 

[Raven2]

yeah an accumulation of trauma that has happened over the years. Social anxiety from a young age, friends abandoned me when I was a teen, failed OD attempt and more recently a broken relationship.

 

[onbekend]

For me it's hard to point to one thing to blame exactly, Each bad thing in my life is a contributing factor to the point where I can't even count the amount of reasons I have depression. So, I answered Maybe.

 

[Rimuss]

Nop. I was diagnosed with depression and suicidal thoughts when I was 12. I don't remember having big traumas, so…

 

[scottyy]

I think it was passed on from my mother who had depression and anxiety and would take it out on her kids. It caused me to have really bad anxiety beginning in my early adolescence, which I was forced to learn how to deal with, and later on depression worsened and so did the suicidal thoughts. Constant thoughts of escape one way or the other. But after I stopped trying to find a way out and stopped in my tracks and looked around, I felt like I was forced to push forward, like a cornered animal. I made some progress but then it was like my entire family got upset with me over it. I became a target for people. Many people wanted to make me their scapegoat. Not only did I not have the support I needed, I had people trying to sabotage me. Now I just live moment to moment and day to day. I unfortunately lost alot of my determination and my tenacious desire for anything, including ctb. I just get high now, which is causing worse mental illness. And my liver is failing from alcohol abuse. And always reminding myself of how I got here is making things worse.

Childhood neglect, controlling, narcissistic abusive parents and golden child sibling who always blamed and put me down, causing very low self esteem, poor self worth, self blame, loneliness, withdrawal, pessimism and self sabotage throughout my childhood and teenage years and beyond. This together with my sensitive, empathetic, introverted nature and lower than average looks and heriditory tremor, set me up a lifetime of constant failure, rejection, abuse, losses, missed opportunities and wrong choices...all resulting in severe lifelong chronic depression.

My naivety and lack of intelligence didn't help either - I placed all blame on myself for years and as it took me decades to work out, but is quite simple to understand really.

Wow, sounds like we have alot of traits in common. Even down to the tremor. And how we accept responsibility for everything else. And our empathetic nature. I remember taking the advice "treat people how you want to be treated" very seriously when I was young. Maybe too serious

 

[struggles_inc]

Death of my dad
Bullying and harassment that lasted for 3 years
SA multiple times
Death of my friend
Deaths of my pets
Everyone in the family constantly talking to me about death since I was a kid
Death of my granny who I really loved
Hardcore academic grind that resulted in severe anxiety
Abandonment by friends who I cared about deeply

It still goes on. My depression is accelerating every year.

 

[BorderlineChellery]

I don't know what caused it for me, my mum tells me it started when I was 12.

Since then I've definitely had circumstances and traumas that have made it worse.
Multiple deaths in the family
Abuse
Bullying causing low self-esteem
A murder in the family
Abandonment
Chronic pain

 

[Unknown21]

I think my childhood and my current circumstances is the answer.

 

[BetweenRadioStations]

Trauma, childhood, genetics

 

[slightoverlooked]

bad genetics (my mom was severely depressed while pregnant with me), childhood trauma and neglect, and bullying. i told my therapist about my behavior as a child and she told me it screamed childhood depression. so i have been suffering since I'm a kid. i have been in therapy for 2 years and i would say its slowly getting better even if it doesnt feel like it most of the time. i still have a long way to go ig or i might just give up and ctb.

 

[Silent Raindrops]

I wish I knew what started it, but nothing I can do about it.

 

[thetruetato]

The main thing causing my depression and desire to die is simply seeing no valid reason to live. To me, nonexistence is the default, and reverting to it is rational if living isn't better than not existing.

 

[Anhedonico]

IMO, my second and last one, currently living, has been because of a period of constant anxiety/stress kept in time during months, including paranoid delusions sadly.

First one as a teenager was because of bullying, toxic relationship with parents, loneliness and ASD.

 

[Unattainable666]

Yup, crystal clear. The narc bitch who had me. She sure didn't do me any favors.

 

[heisenberg]

yeah, it resulted in growing up in a toxic + emotionally abusive household. i was SA'd twice by my stepbrother who lived with us at the time and my parents did nothing. my parents just didn't care about my mental health and they weren't the type to physically or emotionally give affection (i.e. hugging, saying "i'm proud of you) so my emotional needs were never met. i never learned to tolerate "love" that wasn't emotionally exhausting or unfulfilling which led me to get into abusive relationships. i was bullied in school too and never had many friends.

 

[tsumihoroboshi]

Growing up in an uncaring, neglectful, and broken household where it was often forgotten that I even existed. The only time I got attention was in abusive situations and when people in my childhood schools tormented me psychologically. General dissatisfaction with life because of it. What is the point? Always being replaced for someone better. All of this resulting in self-hatred mentally and physically. Just overall being disgusted that I exist and even with medication, it is impossible to make it go away. Current life feels worse than it ever was before.