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For me it feels horrible. I've lived in 2 other states besides my home state and been to the ER multiple times because of it. They all say the same thing - not a heart attack, it's anxiety. Sometimes it's stress related but a lot of times, it occurs out of nowhere. I could be having an okay day and it hits me. It feels like my heart stops and my chest feels empty. Then I feel it through my arms and in my head. I start thinking my heart has stopped (having a heart attack) so I go to the ER and they tell me I don't have anything. Either I've been having an on going heart attack for 9 years or I'm really anxious. There have been times where I stopped being afraid when it happened. I thought I was having a heart attack and instead of trying to do something about it, I stayed laying down. I figured this can be a way to go and I never have to deal with anxiety, sadness, and suffering again. It goes away though (obv cos I'm still here) but that is how it feels to me.
Also, I realized what I described sounds more like a panic attack and it might be. For my anxiety, I'm literally afraid of everything. I have an irrational fear that gets triggered a lot if I see a certain thing mentioned in movies or if I'm scrolling through YouTube. With medications, I try to avoid them because I'm scared of being allergic to them and dying because of it. I'm also worried of the psychological side effects that can happen with certain medications. I hate feeling like I am losing control of my mind and my body. It terrifies me. I should exercise more than I actually do but I'm terrified that I'm going to have a heart attack. Sometimes when I eat, I swear I feel my arteries clogging up if I eat something bad and I feel guilty. Idk honestly the more I type this the more of a nutcase I realize I am
Your heart is a muscle and will only get stronger with exercise(as long as you get the all clear from your doctor)not to mention many other benefits----Your statement about fear of arteries clogging up after eating something bad, is kind of funny cuz I had similar thoughts as you(especially the rare times I ate a rash of bacon or if we had too much pizza)in the past for many years---so your thoughts in that regard are more common than you think
I feel exactly the same. Anxiety is in my body all the time. Thought of ctb used to calm me, but I've realized how tough ctb is, and it adds to my anxiety as well. I'm exhausted.
That's amazing that you found a drug that helps you! Unfortunately I've never had luck with any anxiety or anti-depressant drug. The only thing I haven't tried is benzo and it's because my doctor refused to prescribe me that
That's amazing that you found a drug that helps you! Unfortunately I've never had luck with any anxiety or anti-depressant drug. The only thing I haven't tried is benzo and it's because my doctor refused to prescribe me that
I feel exactly the same way, plus I get stomach aches. I also have trouble concentrating and processing information. It's the worst.
I'm sorry for your struggle. Irrational fears are worst for me because they are literally based on nothing. And I feel stupid when I get anxious because of them. Almost every medication that was prescribed to me made me gain weight, and now I have a fear of that too. I think most of us, who have severe anxiety, get panic attacks more often than we think. I know for me it's hard to describe how often I have panic attacks because I am in panic mode so often.
Yes I experienced the same thing, I'm not sure if its anxiety or SI with my previous attempts. Just crippling levels of nerves, brain fog, exacerbated by sleep deprivation. Even now, I've had N for months now, out of sight, but if I think about using it, planning ctb in detail, trying to set a date, etc I get immediately anxious, almost inducing a panic attack. When I read about other people having N or finally planning their ctb, there always seems to be a sense of calmness or serenity to it that eludes me. I keep telling myself that maybe it means its not my time, or maybe its SI or anxiety, I'm not sure.
