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Lady Euthanasia

Lady Euthanasia

Member
Jul 24, 2018
41
My suicide date is getting closer and closer. Have to say I am feeling very calm about this hole situation although I can't deny the little worry that had sparked my thoughts. You see I had never attempted suicide before so I frankly don't know what exactly to expect. I am mostly confident that I will succeed but you never know and I can't predict the future. So I'm asking something of you that is quite hard to give: sharing your past attempts. I know it might be quite traumatic to relive it so if you don't feel like sharing than please don't, I absolutely do not want to harm anyone on this forum and I will understand.


And well I am writing this because I think knowing your experiences will help me and others who chose this method to be more prepared about what's to come.


I should also add that I will overdose on antidepressants right before I jump (partly hoping that it will numb a little bit my senses and make the hole process easier but mostly as a backup plan).
 
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Volatile

Volatile

God
Jun 18, 2018
1,286
Why not drink before jumping?
 
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Lady Euthanasia

Lady Euthanasia

Member
Jul 24, 2018
41
Why not drink before jumping?

Have thought about it already so I'll be using alcohol to swallow my pills (read somewhere that it increases the overdose effect) and thank you for the reply :)
 
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G

goggleboxers

Student
May 24, 2018
144
Where are you going to jump from ?
 
Lady Euthanasia

Lady Euthanasia

Member
Jul 24, 2018
41
In every case where jumping has failed, the reason is the same: not high enough.

I also meant hesitation, if so than why? What was this person's thought process when they couldn't jump so in a way I could be prepared for that and others who choose this method but still thank you for the response :)
 
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ephemeral

Member
Jul 10, 2018
43
I was 15 when I went up the mountains to a nice cliff, ~200m clear fall onto rocks. Late afternoon and I stood with the front part of my hiking boots over the abyss. I had this ambivalence described in the psychiatric literature, went back and forth.

Then I jumped and everything was over.

Looking back on my life, this should have happened. I did not do it b/c I loved my mum and felt a bit ridicously young for it.

I am over 40 now. Much has changed. Among others, my parents are dead. My pain is still with me. After carefully thinking things over this past year, I get ready for another go.

Thank you for this thread.
 
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M

Morning Angel

Useless Broken Wings
Aug 8, 2018
618
Please take my reply with a grain of salt, Lady. I tried multiple times to jump from a couple bridges and even considered the Golden Gate at one point. I wanted to choose the highest I could find, without pressure of cops around so I went with one that was essentially a freeway above water. There were logistical barriers, but the bigger one was mental/emotional. Every time I looked down at the water, I felt complete terror at how high up I was and knew that would be the last feeling I had before death. My mammalian brain kicked in and the survival instinct was too strong... another thing that held me back was that I kept going at night (to keep others from having to see it) and the prospect of jumping into pitch black darkness was also really intimidating. I think one might have to be on drugs, really drunk, or even psychotic to really do it.
 
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TinTabby

TinTabby

Member
Aug 5, 2018
6
Please take my reply with a grain of salt, Lady. I tried multiple times to jump from a couple bridges and even considered the Golden Gate at one point. I wanted to choose the highest I could find, without pressure of cops around so I went with one that was essentially a freeway above water. There were logistical barriers, but the bigger one was mental/emotional. Every time I looked down at the water, I felt complete terror at how high up I was and knew that would be the last feeling I had before death. My mammalian brain kicked in and the survival instinct was too strong... another thing that held me back was that I kept going at night (prevent others from having to see it) and the prospect of jumping into pitch black darkness was also really intimidating. I think one might have to be on drugs, really drunk, or even psychotic to really do it.

When I jump, I will be closing my eyes. Personally, closing them always reduces physical fear for me drastically. If you have the guts to do it from a high enough height, falling is extremely lethal.
 
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Volatile

Volatile

God
Jun 18, 2018
1,286
When I jump, I will be closing my eyes. Personally, closing them always reduces physical fear for me drastically. If you have the guts to do it from a high enough height, falling is extremely lethal.
Falling backward with eyes closed?
 
J

John smith10

Member
Aug 11, 2018
58
My suicide date is getting closer and closer. Have to say I am feeling very calm about this hole situation although I can't deny the little worry that had sparked my thoughts. You see I had never attempted suicide before so I frankly don't know what exactly to expect. I am mostly confident that I will succeed but you never know and I can't predict the future. So I'm asking something of you that is quite hard to give: sharing your past attempts. I know it might be quite traumatic to relive it so if you don't feel like sharing than please don't, I absolutely do not want to harm anyone on this forum and I will understand.


And well I am writing this because I think knowing your experiences will help me and others who chose this method to be more prepared about what's to come.


I should also add that I will overdose on antidepressants right before I jump (partly hoping that it will numb a little bit my senses and make the hole process easier but mostly as a backup plan).
My suicide date is getting closer and closer. Have to say I am feeling very calm about this hole situation although I can't deny the little worry that had sparked my thoughts. You see I had never attempted suicide before so I frankly don't know what exactly to expect. I am mostly confident that I will succeed but you never know and I can't predict the future. So I'm asking something of you that is quite hard to give: sharing your past attempts. I know it might be quite traumatic to relive it so if you don't feel like sharing than please don't, I absolutely do not want to harm anyone on this forum and I will understand.


And well I am writing this because I think knowing your experiences will help me and others who chose this method to be more prepared about what's to come.


I should also add that I will overdose on antidepressants right before I jump (partly hoping that it will numb a little bit my senses and make the hole process easier but mostly as a backup plan).
My suicide date is getting closer and closer. Have to say I am feeling very calm about this hole situation although I can't deny the little worry that had sparked my thoughts. You see I had never attempted suicide before so I frankly don't know what exactly to expect. I am mostly confident that I will succeed but you never know and I can't predict the future. So I'm asking something of you that is quite hard to give: sharing your past attempts. I know it might be quite traumatic to relive it so if you don't feel like sharing than please don't, I absolutely do not want to harm anyone on this forum and I will understand.


And well I am writing this because I think knowing your experiences will help me and others who chose this method to be more prepared about what's to come.


I should also add that I will overdose on antidepressants right before I jump (partly hoping that it will numb a little bit my senses and make the hole process easier but mostly as a backup plan).

Because you need to Jump from something really high Otherwise it's really a hit or miss.
 
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Slacker

Slacker

⋔⊬ ☌⍜⎅, ⟟⏁´⌇ ⎎⎍⌰⌰ ⍜⎎ ⌿⍜⌰⟟☊⟒
Aug 17, 2018
298
I was 16 (ca. 20 years ago) and was beaten up by my father that day, I left my girlfriend before because she betrayed me with a "friend" I was kicked out of school without any diploma/graduation (dk how to translate it in English) and none of my friends wanted to have something to do with me...

so i drove with the bus to the train station of the highest bridge (110m) and waited there and wanted to smoke my last cigarette... I was nervous and shaking (it was cold) I smoked more than half of the package... and knew when to start running to the middle of the bridge (about 250m) before a train would stop and I got catched (the bridge is only for trains) I don't know why I wanted to get to the middle... I was just too dumb didn't know that even 30m would be enough... it was dark... so I started running. And boy my lung was burning (I was overweight and I think, that smoking 15 cigarettes before running was not a good idea :D ) Breathing just hurt so much, I was sweating... I was so scared. before I reached the middle I just stopped and turned around immediately... what hold me back? I really don't know. Fear? Maybe running and breathing deeply cleared my mind??? Doing sport before suicide is maybe not a good idea (or is a good idea, it depends of what u want)

when I think about that a bit... I was angry. Because I just knew that it was not my fault. Not everything. People told me that I was dumb. They told me that I was weak. They showed me that I was an asshole... that I deserved what I got... But inside me I knew that this was not true. And that made me angry. That other people made me do this. I just didnt want to kill myself. It just made no sense for me anymore. I just realized that in this moment.

That moment changed me forever and my life. I made my diploma and the next and started as a trainee and got a job but I was lonely since then until today. Something died inside of me.
 
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Nessa

Nessa

My 'minds' r killin' me..
Aug 11, 2018
18
Thank you for this thread.
I'm gonna jump as well. Still searching for the right cliff though. I mean, it has to be high enough, I only have one shot/jump.
How high is high enough?
Calculating.. Any tips?

I will make sure I'm alone, nobody to interupt/disturb me during the process.
I will have a freefall with my face towards the sky, eyes wide open I guess. I love to look at the sky.
If I hesitate, it will be just for a moment, thinking I forgot to do something.. hihi..
But I know it will create rest for me. Finally freedom; of my mind!

I wish you the best and hope your 'flight' to the other side will be a good one. Good luck!
 
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Lady Euthanasia

Lady Euthanasia

Member
Jul 24, 2018
41
Thank you for this thread.
I'm gonna jump as well. Still searching for the right cliff though. I mean, it has to be high enough, I only have one shot/jump.
How high is high enough?
Calculating.. Any tips?

I will make sure I'm alone, nobody to interupt/disturb me during the process.
I will have a freefall with my face towards the sky, eyes wide open I guess. I love to look at the sky.
If I hesitate, it will be just for a moment, thinking I forgot to do something.. hihi..
But I know it will create rest for me. Finally freedom; of my mind!

I wish you the best and hope your 'flight' to the other side will be a good one. Good luck!


They have a resource section on this website where you might find the answers you are seeking:
https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/list-of-resources.3/
I'm not sure if they have the infamous ash methods file but here's the information it provides about jumping (warning: I do not know how reliable this is):
Jumping off buildings
Time: Instantanious if you are lucky, minutes/hours otherwise
Available: You need ten stories or higher, and access to the top floor windows/roof. Bring a bolt cutter to get onto the roof
Certainty: 90% for 6 stories, increasing after that
Notes: Difficult to overcome fear of heights, many people can't do it. Totally painless if high enough, but very frightening. Easily discovered if seen on/near roof/windows. Access fairly easy in a city, otherwise difficult. Risk of spending the rest of your life in a wheelchair. Ever tried killing yourself if you are paralysed from the neck down? Email conversations suggest 10+ stories works ALMOST all of the time. Try to land on concrete. Quote - "9 out of 10 people who fall 6 stories will die". Note that it may take a while for many of those 90% to die.
I understand you have selected a cliff instead of a building but I'm sure it'll be easy to calculate approximately how much height do you require.

And I wish you good luck too! ♥
 
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Nessa

Nessa

My 'minds' r killin' me..
Aug 11, 2018
18
They have a resource section on this website where you might find the information you are seeking:
https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/list-of-resources.3/
I'm not sure if they have the infamous ash methods file but here's the information they provide (but I do not know how reliable the it is):
Jumping off buildings
Time: Instantanious if you are lucky, minutes/hours otherwise
Available: You need ten stories or higher, and access to the top floor windows/roof. Bring a bolt cutter to get onto the roof
Certainty: 90% for 6 stories, increasing after that
Notes: Difficult to overcome fear of heights, many people can't do it. Totally painless if high enough, but very frightening. Easily discovered if seen on/near roof/windows. Access fairly easy in a city, otherwise difficult. Risk of spending the rest of your life in a wheelchair. Ever tried killing yourself if you are paralysed from the neck down? Email conversations suggest 10+ stories works ALMOST all of the time. Try to land on concrete. Quote - "9 out of 10 people who fall 6 stories will die". Note that it may take a while for many of those 90% to die.

And I wish you good luck too! ♥

Thanks a lot!
 
I

ion900

Student
May 4, 2018
159
I was 16 (ca. 20 years ago) and was beaten up by my father that day, I left my girlfriend before because she betrayed me with a "friend" I was kicked out of school without any diploma/graduation (dk how to translate it in English) and none of my friends wanted to have something to do with me...

so i drove with the bus to the train station of the highest bridge (110m) and waited there and wanted to smoke my last cigarette... I was nervous and shaking (it was cold) I smoked more than half of the package... and knew when to start running to the middle of the bridge (about 250m) before a train would stop and I got catched (the bridge is only for trains) I don't know why I wanted to get to the middle... I was just too dumb didn't know that even 30m would be enough... it was dark... so I started running. And boy my lung was burning (I was overweight and I think, that smoking 15 cigarettes before running was not a good idea :D ) Breathing just hurt so much, I was sweating... I was so scared. before I reached the middle I just stopped and turned around immediately... what hold me back? I really don't know. Fear? Maybe running and breathing deeply cleared my mind??? Doing sport before suicide is maybe not a good idea (or is a good idea, it depends of what u want)

when I think about that a bit... I was angry. Because I just knew that it was not my fault. Not everything. People told me that I was dumb. They told me that I was weak. They showed me that I was an asshole... that I deserved what I got... But inside me I knew that this was not true. And that made me angry. That other people made me do this. I just didnt want to kill myself. It just made no sense for me anymore. I just realized that in this moment.

That moment changed me forever and my life. I made my diploma and the next and started as a trainee and got a job but I was lonely since then until today. Something died inside of me.
"without any diploma/graduation" That is correct. "to have something" I would say anything instead of something.
I think it would help to blame yourself and be okay with the idea that you made mistakes. That is if you feel like going that route.
 
TinTabby

TinTabby

Member
Aug 5, 2018
6
If there are national parks with large cliffs or waterfalls in your area, you could use those to both get some exercise and jump from.
 
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