N

noname223

Archangel
Aug 18, 2020
5,365
My parents and my sister know that I am active in a suicide forum. I told to my psychiatrist and former psychologist it. 3 close friends of mine know it.

So I don't really have many options. So far I did not share it with my college friends. They know I am struggling a lot. And I really want to avoid that they pity me too much. Especially my best college friend who is already insanely supportive and helpful. Soon one of my college friends will meet me at home. And I will delete the SaSu tab just in order to be safe.

I have one friend who is not that close. I think he would not care if I was in a suicide forum. He is sometimes apathetic. So he would be the perfect choice.
I have a friend with severe autism. I really ask myself how he will react to my suicide. I think he might know mabye he forgot it that I am suicidal. My college friend and the autistic friends are for me two big question marks how they will be able to cope with my suicide.

I have/had some friends with less empathy. I ghosted them. They brag with money, sex and women. And one of them insults minorities but only the ones he is not part of. And yes I am bitter and I cannot handle that (bragging). I would NEVER share it with them.

I think I am good at assessing who is able to handle that information. I think most people are rather apathetic. Moreover in Germany there is no media coverage of this forum. So they don't have listened to any framings from the media.

My mom thought I might be traumatized posting in a suicide forum. She was shocked when I told her I have more than 3500 posts. XD
I explained to my dad I am scared to get into legal trouble when I am posting here. He told me the German authorities would never crack down on a vulnerable person like me. And that the German bureaucrats are already way too overburdened. For my dad these were wise words. Sometimes he is on point but in other instances he is a complete moron. I am not fully convinced with the vulnerable person thing. But maybe that is overthinking.
 
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Inthewind

Inthewind

Wondering Waevern
Sep 19, 2023
101
If I had to tell anyone I would choose my middle school friend, they would understand this form because theyve gone through it and they understand why im here. I would do what you would by turning off the extra not good fourm so he wouldnt get ideas, i havent told him about this because of that. He has actually been quite good now, gaining confidence and just overall improvements towards transitoning, he always has problems when he finds relationships. He has a system and they find other systems, made good boundry rules inside the system and out in relationships but the systems he finds theres always one that causes problems like trying to date someone else, and just ignoring them. So when the relationship gets rough or he feels the system is leaving them they might go on here and I dont want them find this. But other than that I think I would be able to tell him and he would just get it and go on with his day, if he made an account and lost the code he isnt well organized possibly he would make more accounts, and maybe rant on here aswell and get advice. Maybe I may make a post one day for him actually. I think that could help him. Okay I think this post just was making me think bout this 1>1 annnnd I talked my way through the thinking process uhhh welp so anyway I choooose my friend.
Cat Remember GIF
 
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sserafim

sserafim

brighter than the sun, that’s just me
Sep 13, 2023
9,013
Nobody bc I have no reason to tell anyone
 
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EternalShore

EternalShore

Hardworking Lass who Dreams of Love~ 💕✨
Jun 9, 2023
979
If I had to tell anyone I would choose my middle school friend, they would understand this form because theyve gone through it and they understand why im here. I would do what you would by turning off the extra not good fourm so he wouldnt get ideas, i havent told him about this because of that. He has actually been quite good now, gaining confidence and just overall improvements towards transitoning, he always has problems when he finds relationships. He has a system and they find other systems, made good boundry rules inside the system and out in relationships but the systems he finds theres always one that causes problems like trying to date someone else, and just ignoring them. So when the relationship gets rough or he feels the system is leaving them they might go on here and I dont want them find this. But other than that I think I would be able to tell him and he would just get it and go on with his day, if he made an account and lost the code he isnt well organized possibly he would make more accounts, and maybe rant on here aswell and get advice. Maybe I may make a post one day for him actually. I think that could help him. Okay I think this post just was making me think bout this 1>1 annnnd I talked my way through the thinking process uhhh welp so anyway I choooose my friend.
Cat Remember GIF
Really cute story and gif! >w<

Nobody bc I have no reason to tell anyone
This is the correct answer~ hehe~


In regards to myself, I'd probably just pick someone who sits next to me in one of my college classes~ I don't particularly care about others' opinions of me, so I use SaSu right next to them regardless! xD If I have to pick someone who actually matters, I'd probably choose my roommate. That person already hacked the wi-fi to find my Twitter account (so they already know I'm sewer slidal), so it wouldn't go that poorly~ probably...
 
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this_is_it

this_is_it

Member
Sep 19, 2023
43
my best friend. he lived with us for 2 months and i helped him bandage his arm and find a ride to the hospital in the middle of the night because he cut himself with glass from a parking lot. i know he understands and won't make a big deal out of it, and i absolutely can't have someone make a big deal out of it.
 
sserafim

sserafim

brighter than the sun, that’s just me
Sep 13, 2023
9,013
Really cute story and gif! >w<


This is the correct answer~ hehe~


In regards to myself, I'd probably just pick someone who sits next to me in one of my college classes~ I don't particularly care about others' opinions of me, so I use SaSu right next to them regardless! xD If I have to pick someone who actually matters, I'd probably choose my roommate. That person already hacked the wi-fi to find my Twitter account (so they already know I'm sewer slidal), so it wouldn't go that poorly~ probably...
Also nobody would even care that I was on SaSu anyways…my psychiatrist has basically given up on me, he probably thinks I'm a lost cause. I never told him I was suicidal but like he knows I'm failing at life and adulting
 
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PandaBe

PandaBe

Member
Sep 25, 2023
29
If I absolutely had to tell someone it would probably be my ex best friend because I know that she wouldn't care
 
d3j3ct3dl0s3r05

d3j3ct3dl0s3r05

i am so lainpilled :3 (? days left)
Apr 15, 2023
248
With my uhhhhhhhhhhh 'colourful' post history, I'd be locked up in the looney bin for 5000 years (without a chance of parole) and I'd probably starve to death because priso- I mean psych ward food is next-level repulsive. So yeah I'd rather not tell anyone honestly. They can find out after I strategically wipe all of my data except on here just before my passing
 
TransilvanianHunger

TransilvanianHunger

Grave with a view...
Jan 22, 2023
363
I told my therapist about it when I first joined, and it comes up now and again still, if I read a post that sticks with me and makes me think or reflect on something. First time I told her about it she asked why I joined, and what I thought of this place, but didn't react in any negative way. We have talked about suicide before quite openly, she knows me well, and understands that I can talk about suicide without it meaning that I'm about to kill myself or anything like that.