if you had a surefire method with you, do you think you'd be dead by now?

[HermitLonerGuy]

I was thinking about this, the only reason im still around is because i have no method that is certain to succeed.
im basically alive because im so useless i cant even figure out a proper way to kill myself.
It's jarring to think about im only alive due to luck, which is ironically unlucky for me.
I sometimes fantasize if i had a gun right near me now or Nembutal id use it right now.
How sad but strange it is to know the only reason im alive isnt out of choice, its because theres no proper way to end it yet.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

Yes, I would hope so. However guilt would probably make me stagnate for a bit.

 

[StrangeAndDeath]

I think so, yes. But I also feel like due to the confidence of having the method, I might decide to stick around for a while

 

[that_guy2611]

Yes. I ended up not drinking my N because i was scared i'd wake up in the hospital with tubes up my ass.

 

[dustyfurcollector]

I think so, yes. But I also feel like due to the confidence of having the method, I might decide to stick around for a while

Since getting my sn and meto (still need propanolol... My Dr is being mean) I've had a sense of confidence that I know I can end it exactly when I choose.

And to kinda answer the question, the only thing keeping me here is my dog. My cat would be absolutely fine without me. He's kinda attached, but not terribly... You know...a cat. I can't think of Daisy being back in a shelter. She was only there 4 days, but it was hard on her. And there are hundreds of dog fighting rings here and they gather dogs to use as bait. I'm not talking to my parents bc I'm no longer the conservative they are... And I no longer believe in their cult. I have one friend and we only text a couple times a month. All I do is sleep (yay!) eat, walk the dog, and watch TV. No one would miss me. No one would attend a service. I will be found by the police. Why stay?!

 

[FuneralCry]

Yes, of course I would be gone from this world. Long gone. The difficulty and complications associated with actually going through with suicide is the only reason as to why I'm still trapped here continuing to exist day after day. Having N would be the ultimate and ideal solution for me, I would leave as soon as possible as I've already suffered enough and I want nothing to do with this horrific burden called existence in any way, all that I've ever really wished for is to permanently cease to exist.

Denying people reliable method options to free themselves from this existence is incredibly cruel. The fact that suicide is so stigmatised means that existence is so prison like, and it's like we are being punished because of the decisions of others to selfishly procreate.

 

[SectOfValtiel]

maybe, but a lot has to go along with that
it has to be painless, it has to be quick enough, and it has to be easily accessible
and im pretty sure a method like that just doesnt exist
if it did id have probably died a long time ago

 

[dustyfurcollector]

maybe, but a lot has to go along with that
it has to be painless, it has to be quick enough, and it has to be easily accessible
and im pretty sure a method like that just doesnt exist
if it did id have probably died a long time ago

I can't talk abt methods anymore, but there are some that are painless... They're just uncomfortable. And there are some where you're unconscious within 15-45 minutes and that's all that matters, really. Unless the problem is finding enough time to not be discovered. By saying some I'm thinking of one.

 

[Exact Change]

No, I have too many loose ends that need to be taken care of. I also constantly struggle with the pain I will be leaving behind. And I still cling to the hope that life will get better.

 

[HermitLonerGuy]

No, I have too many loose ends that need to be taken care of. I also constantly struggle with the pain I will be leaving behind. And I still cling to the hope that life will get better.

then you shouldnt do it, you should try and recover imo if someone has hestiance and some hope of recovery then they should give healing a chance . i wish you all the best.

 

[MovingOn]

Yes, definitely. I would have done it many years ago, and more recently, I would have done it 1-2 weeks ago.
I'm currently at a point where I've ordered SN. I think the source I used is legitimate and will be delivered to me, but I still don't have it.

When I think of having SN on me, stashed away to use if necessary, I feel completely relaxed and happy. Having a decent way out is something that I've wanted for a long time. It's something I've searched for, and now found here on this forum (not the source though). I think there's a very good chance I'll be using it after receiving it, within 2 months. However, I am still taking some steps, testing possibilities that could make life liveable. If things don't pan out, well... so long and thanks for all the fish, as they say.

I detest society for removing the ability to end one's own life peacefully (or at least obstructing it excessively). At the same time I think people should wait at least a couple weeks so that they don't make hasty decisions.

 

[HermitLonerGuy]

However, I am still taking some steps, testing possibilities that could make life liveable. If things don't pan out, well... so long and thanks for all the fish, as they say.

I think you should try some possibilities first yes.
lol nice Hitchikers guide to the galaxy quote.

 

[MovingOn]

I think you should try some possibilities first yes.
lol nice Hitchikers guide to the galaxy quote.

Haven't read it, maybe I will
edit: or watched the other mediums

 

[jodes2]

I finally got my sure fire method, SN, then changed my mind by the time it arrived! But all my previous attempts with other methods failed, I'd be dead many times over if they'd worked. I'm now in recovery, and might not CTB for 30 years! I hope you manage to recover before you find a lethal method, life can be good for you too if you give it a chance and get good help

 

[May_]

I've seen a lot of threads on the "survival instinct" which makes people freeze right before they do something like pull the trigger on a gun.

I haven't experienced that yet and don't know how strong it is.

 

[BipolarExpress]

I bought SN almost two months ago and I still haven't used it. (Part of that is that I've heard survival stories, and I want to make absolutely sure that I do not survive. I don't want to be dragged off to the psych ward.)

 

[Reallysad]

I would be gone also tried other methods but have failed,I want sn but cannot find it anywhere in the uk and it's so frustrating,if I had some at least I know I could have a exit plan if needed