If you found the love of your life would you still want to ctb?

[John Smith]

Just curious. I sometimes wonder what would happen if that happened if I would be more or less depressed. Most attractive women my age though are taken. How do you feel about it?

 

[Sundayafternoon]

Just curious. I sometimes wonder what would happen if that happened if I would be more or less depressed. Most attractive women my age though are taken. How do you feel about it?

The love of my life would want too die with me.

 

[Egddios]

Yes, I'd still CTB, and not because "love isn't enough" or love doesn't matter; love is something that can make life worth living. Love is beautiful.

 

[Lady black]

Yes the love of my life would hang next to me

 

[Miss clefable]

I would die with him

 

[TiredHorse]

I had the love of my life. After 24 years together, our marriage collapsed. Now I intend to ctb.

If another such amazing woman miraculously appeared, and we were mutually smitten by a love as great as what I once had? I have to admit that yes, that would definitely change the equation. At that point, I doubt I would ctb.

It is devastating having had that sense of completeness, and then having had it fall apart, and seeing there is no possible way to again find in one woman all the elements that made my Beloved such a love.

 

[Didymus]

No, it would change my life. I have never even had a single friend in my entire life.

 

[Xerxes]

Found the love of my life, but I feel like she's goes day to day with me. She wishes she had better, wants better, so I'll give her better one way or the other. Doesn't matter if I found the love of my life, I hate myself too much to receive love, and I be wasting her time and energy.

I'm tired of hurting people I love. Continue to live and hurt her over and over through dumb mistakes that I can or cannot control. Or CTB now, and save her a lifetime of pain and hurt because she can find someone new again that'll treat her right.

 

[gingerplum]

If I could have my true love back, then I'd have a life worth living. As it is, it hurts too much to remember what it was like to be happy. The pain is unrelenting.

 

[Thoughtforms]

No

 

[Lefty]

Sometimes I think yes. Other times I wonder if it would make my happy. I thought my I found the love of my life last year, but it turned out to be a huge disappointment, its a long story. However if I was to actually find the love of my life, I'm not really sure.

 

[bigj75]

Be honest with yourself will a female be enough to keep you from ctb'ing? Maybe. But for me no. So i would still ctb even if i fell in love with some girl.

 

[Fyrinne]

Love is the only thing I've ever had that made life worth living. If I truly could find that again, I'd absolutely stay.

That said, I've had my chances, I ended a relationship with a girl I care very much about pretty recently. She's a sweetheart, but she isn't my true love, and that hurts me because I wish I could offer her that kind of happiness, but she wants something different than I want. She wants to have kids, to have that ideal traditional romance, and I'm anything but that...

I want simple, but passionate. I want to make someone laugh and smile and talk about everything through the nights... I had it once... I fucked it up and I don't know how to find it again...

I'd stay for the girl I lost, or someone like her... Without question...

 

[TiredHorse]

I want simple, but passionate. I want to make someone laugh and smile and talk about everything through the nights... I had it once... I fucked it up and I don't know how to find it again...

This this this this this this this!

Yes. Exactly. That would be worth staying.

Oh gods, I miss it.

 

[BellaKAT]

If the love of my life could love me back I wouldn't want to ctb

 

[therhydler]

If I could have my true love back, then I'd have a life worth living. As it is, it hurts too much to remember what it was like to be happy. The pain is unrelenting.

I know the feeling

 

[therhydler]

Wow, it feels good to know I'm not the only one here because of a broken heart. I feel like it's the trigger not the whole story, my mind would probably have lead me to this place anyway, but god it's one fuck of a trigger

 

[Red star]

Nope and I will find them, I know when I just havto be patient

 

[Fyrinne]

I'm not so much broken hearted as empty hearted... I mean, I definitely have a broken heart, but people always assume that's why I'm fucked up, which is frustrating. I wanted to die before I ever met Maya, and losing her just made it worse. Hurting someone else because I didn't want the same thing, didn't help either...

But I've wanted to die for years...

I'm just losing the part of me that believes there's a reason to live... I don't want that, but people just don't seem to want to reach out and take a chance... And even if they did, finding that person who isn't scared off by how crazy and dark I can be, and wants what I want, is so fucking painfully difficult...

 

[Shewaitsforme]

Love of my life died thats a big reason i want to die too. If someone came into my life and i felt that kind of love i would still want to die because once youve lost that kind of love once id be too worried about losing it again.

I just know i coukd give myself to someone again, its broken me

 

[OnlyMercy]

The lack of love is not my reason to leave this world.

So the sudden attainment of love would not change my mind whatsoever.

 

[Fyrinne]

Love of my life died thats a big reason i want to die too. If someone came into my life and i felt that kind of love i would still want to die because once youve lost that kind of love once id be too worried about losing it again.

I just know i coukd give myself to someone again, its broken me

I never understood this...

I guess because I don't think there's anything other than this life, and I think that's the beauty of life... I will die someday... And that will be it for me... So if I could have even a month more of what I had with Maya... It's worth the loss...

 

[Bread]

I think it would delay my ctb but I would definitely still ctb eventually. Being loved is one of the things I wanted to experience before I die, but I don't think it would "fix" anything in the long run. I hate myself too much. Eventually things would fall apart, they would leave me, and then I would die. Funny enough, that chain of events is the best case scenario I could realistically hope for.

 

[gingerplum]

Wow, it feels good to know I'm not the only one here because of a broken heart. I feel like it's the trigger not the whole story, my mind would probably have lead me to this place anyway, but god it's one fuck of a trigger

Just came here to say this same thing. It's (weirdly?) nice to know I'm in good company with all the broken hearts here.

I often think some of us are more sensitive... or the other way to look at it is just poor coping skills, I guess. Either way, some of us just don't "bounce back". We get sucked into the undertow of our own grief and just surrender to the flow.

Some people are much more resilient. I envy them. On the other hand, maybe the thing that makes me love so deeply and so passionately is the same thing that make me succumb to the pain so completely.

Whatever the reason, this pain is so overwhelming it just about eviscerates me every time I wake up and remember.

I love being able to feel understood here.

 

[Bread]

Some people are much more resilient. I envy them. On the other hand, maybe the thing that makes me love so deeply and so passionately is the same thing that make me succumb to the pain so completely.

I love this, it's so profound. I definitely think for myself that is the case. I feel like I live with my heart far more exposed to the world than a normal healthy person. I also don't think I can do anything about it, it's just the way I was born. Even if I'm going to die from it, I can't change that this is the way I am.

 

[gingerplum]

I love this, it's so profound. I definitely think for myself that is the case. I feel like I live with my heart far more exposed to the world than a normal healthy person. I also don't think I can do anything about it, it's just the way I was born. Even if I'm going to die from it, I can't change that this is the way I am.

Thank you. Are you new, or have I just not seen you posting? Welcome, Bread. Love the avatar.

 

[Bread]

Thank you. Are you new, or have I just not seen you posting? Welcome, Bread. Love the avatar.

I've been lurking around here for a while but I only officially joined 14 days ago. I'm pretty socially anxious but I'm trying to get in the habit of posting and communicating more. This is the only forum I've found where I can do so without judgement, and it's nice to know that other people are on the same journey. It's a shitty journey to be on, and I'm sorry there's so many people in this situation, but at least we can all be together before we make our final decision. Also thanks for your complements on my avatar, I guess humor and silliness is part of how I've adapted to deal with this world.

 

[gingerplum]

I've been lurking around here for a while but I only officially joined 14 days ago. I'm pretty socially anxious but I'm trying to get in the habit of posting and communicating more. This is the only forum I've found where I can do so without judgement, and it's nice to know that other people are on the same journey. It's a shitty journey to be on, and I'm sorry there's so many people in this situation, but at least we can all be together before we make our final decision. Also thanks for your complements on my avatar, I guess humor and silliness is part of how I've adapted to deal with this world.

Me too. Nice to smile thru the pain sometimes.

 

[Jen Erik]

Yes, because lack of love is not what drives me to want to ctb.

 

[TAW122]

I still would since there are many more reasons (including philosophical ones) for me to ctb. Love will make life a bit easier, but ctb is still inevitable.