Story IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME WOULD YOU IMAGINED YOURSELF HERE ON SS?

[brokensoulsdiealone]

every suicidal thought i had since 12 every panic attack, every breakdown, all the hurt lies and betrayal and lifetime of depression would have never guessed i would end up on SS

Ps: super greatful i did love this forum, members and admins who make it possible

 

[WorthlessTrash]

Probably. Nothing could have prevented this, just prolong at best.

 

[brokensoulsdiealone]

Probably. Nothing could have prevented this, just prolong at best.

100% right

Probably. Nothing could have prevented this, just prolong at best.

Glad i found SS really helps me in ways much bigger then what i could explain

 

[Thequietone]

Yeah because I first wanted to die when I was 11. With 14 I started sh and got depressed episodes.

 

[FuneralCry]

I have never wanted to live and I have been suicidal since I was a very young age. Suicide has always been the way that I have imagined myself dying, even know it is very difficult for me personally because of limited access to methods. I could never not be suicidal, life is only suffering to me and I will suffer until my last breath. All that I want is the peace that death brings.

 

[Hercules]

No, not in a million years. If I could go back in time and tell my younger self that I would end up here one day, I would never have believed it. I would have thought that I would have had a better chance of being struck by lightening.

 

[Lullaby]

Absolutely, I could see my younger self on here and to be honest, I wish this site was around then.

I had no support back then and it was rare for me to meet anyone else who had similar issues as me, I genuinely thought I was alone. If I had been on here when I was 18, I probably would've gotten lots of great life advice and support. I think it would've pushed me a little more to try and overcome my issues.

 

[Idontmatter]

If I knew about certain methods 20 years ago I wouldn't be here right now. My younger self would have loved this forum.

 

[waitingforrest]

Yeah. I always knew I'd end up somewhere like this. I had little social interaction and distracted myself from my problems through the internet.

 

[outrider567]

No, not in a million years. If I could go back in time and tell my younger self that I would end up here one day, I would never have believed it. I would have thought that I would have had a better chance of being struck by lightening.

Same here, was in denial that my girlfriend would die someday--I am here because I was(and am currently)totally unprepared psychologically for what happened--Its a cold and lifeless world without her

 

[MementoMori81]

Casting my memory back, I don't think I would've thought I'd be here now. That said, the fact that I am is testimony to the helter skelter ride that life is.
As it currently stands, it could still swing either way. On agreement with family and close friends, I've promised to exhaust all options for recovery first. Seems fair to me, really.

 

[whatevs]

I wouldn't be terribly surprised, no.

 

[Idontmatter]

Same here, was in denial that my girlfriend would die someday--I am here because I was(and am currently)totally unprepared psychologically for what happened--Its a cold and lifeless world without her

I don't want to imagine having to go through losing a spouse. I'm sorry you are dealing with that. I'm feeling guilty that my husband is more than likely going to lose me and will be devastated He is already scared that I'm going to go.

 

[just_random]

First of all Im really glad to find this place. I was sick of people who dont know me trying to "save" me...
And I was looking for a place like this for years... Somehow a few days ago I found it randomly...
But I do think I wouldve find it again sooner or later

 

[fillthevoid]

No. For many years even though it was hard, I always thought it would be ok in the end. I was suicidal but I was always optimistic it would all work out ultimately. I didn't think it would ever really happen to me, that I would be that person who's body was found, had to be identified, who's family would get that cal, that person who died by suicide. I always dreamt things would work out. To actually plot to do it now, takes a lot of self-realisation and acceptance.

Same here, was in denial that my girlfriend would die someday--I am here because I was(and am currently)totally unprepared psychologically for what happened--Its a cold and lifeless world without her

I'm so sorry

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

Not in 1 million years… I wish I had known and I would've done things completely differently… I was heading here all along I just didn't know it

 

[Anonymous1997ES]

Depends:

If I get back into my twelve year old self's mind: write a document in Word, detailing everything that's going to happen to us if we don't do anything, what to do, what to not do, and hope he believes me...

If I get back with my own body: I would talk to him directly, and explain as much as I can our future, the mistakes I made, and how he could improve that to move on and have a happier life. Would tell him to not record himself singing a certain song into Youtube, to not get into a conflict with some of our second cousins, to do more exercise, to stand up and fight against bullies and so on. Or... I would mercy kill him, then kill myself, so he won't be broken by life...

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Depends on how far back I go but I doubt I'd listen to my own advice.

 

[T90-Alpha]

if i could go back in time, i would buy Bitcoin and become a multimillionaire
then i wouldn't have to worry about life, and could live peacfully

 

[befree]

No. Not in the 1990´s.

 

[Hurt]

No. It depends on what year.

 

[Capsaicin78]

I don't really know honestly. But if I could have changed my past then I wouldn't have become such a piece of shit. So maybe I could have lived a happy life... who knows.
Still, just a dream haha

 

[September5th]

No jokes, I would never imagined myself here even as early as two to three months ago XD
It's funny how life deteriorates so fast

 

[Rogue]

every suicidal thought i had since 12 every panic attack, every breakdown, all the hurt lies and betrayal and lifetime of depression would have never guessed i would end up on SS

Ps: super greatful i did love this forum, members and admins who make it possible

If I could go back in time I wouldn't exist at all. That would have kept me from all this heart ache and pain that I feel.

 

[mojabaka]

If I didn't take the "vaccine" I would've never been suicidal. Would've just continued to live my ordinary, mostly happy life. I wish I could go back in time so much.

 

[narudo]

If I didn't take the "vaccine" I would've never been suicidal. Would've just continued to live my ordinary, mostly happy life. I wish I could go back in time so much.

Actually covid long haul is what brought me here as well. I wish I could go back in time as well.

 

[mojabaka]

Actually covid long haul is what brought me here as well. I wish I could go back in time as well.

Yeah, it's unbelivable. Both are ruining the lives of completely healthy people.

 

[narudo]

Yeah, it's unbelivable. Both are ruining the lives of completely healthy people.

It's absolutely crazy. I actually think I did see you on the long haulers sub on reddit.

 

[mojabaka]

It's absolutely crazy. I actually think I did see you on the long haulers sub on reddit.

100% true, probably. I spent a lot of time there the last 10 months. Just getting more misarable though.

 

[Forever Sleep]

First considered suicide when I was 10. When I was 9, we hadn't even heard of the Internet! (Well, I hadn't.) Actually, only discovered this forum recently and very grateful for it but not surprised I'm here. Feel like suicidal thoughts have become part of my identity- although ironically, I'm not sure I'll ever find the courage to actually do it.