All marginalised communities want to showcase motivational success stories, rather than draw too much attention to the individuals who are still struggling, or who couldn't bear their suffering anymore and decided to leave this world instead to escape it. Focusing on these harsh realities, on those who didn't make it, is bad for morale and few people want to really sit there pondering on the pain and suffering that others experience through no fault of their own.
That's why we see disabled olympians in news stories, homeless people who have escaped the streets to become affluent business owners, or refugees who have overcome their traumatic circumstances to become motivational speakers or community leaders. We like to see inspirational stories that instill hope and belief that the underdogs in society can achieve victories too, against all odds.
However, only wanting to see these positive accounts masks the real, ongoing issues that plague disadvantaged populations. In the trans community specifically, I think many of the voices in the media come from affluent American backgrounds, think supermodels, comedians and youtubers/streamers from New York or California who had loving family members supporting their transition, and access to the best doctors and surgical teams. This is not even vaguely representative of the community as a whole.
One of the big elephants in the room that plagues the trans community (and indeed, many others as well) is that those who have a good support network simply cannot empathise with those whose families abused them, cut them off, and ostracised them because of their identity. The message that gets sent out is, "You should be able to function on your own, prioritise moving out and it will magically get better, you don't need anyone else. Just love yourself."
It is callousness and terrible advice, because this isolation leaves a high number of trans people at risk of becoming suicidal or carrying out the act. Telling an 18 year old adolescent with no resources that they need to leave their family NOW and try to survive on their own while solely bearing the burden of financing their transition is toxic.
There really is no support out there for those who have been left behind by their family and friends. When I was underage, a therapist told me that everything would be better when I turned 18, because I would have freedom from my homphobic family. Guess what? It just opened the door for more abuse, because I was a vunerable person out there on my own, and others knew this. I still had the mind of a child but was expected to function like an adult. This happens to so many LGBT people that it's unbelievable. Especially those from countries and cultures where it is heavily taboo.
Not to mention, many trans people are autistic or suffer from other comorbid illnesses and disabilities, making their lives even more challenging. These people are shunned even more, because they are unlikely to be glamorized media personalities. These are the demographics which truly need help and support, yet find themselves silenced because they aren't oozing optimism and hope.
We need to be able to speak about the issues and problems plaguing society if we ever want them to change, but I think over the last decade especially, the Overton window has shifted towards covering up, silencing, and censoring those who criticise mental health industry dogmas, and this includes pushing a very specific narrative about suicidal people.
It is easier to pretend the issues that make people suicidal don't exist in first place, as opposed to acknowledging and addressing them. One specific example I can think of is trans people who had botched surgeries. When these people share the painful reality that a surgeon messed up their body and made their dysphoria worse, they get shut down, because people think that someone sharing their bad experiences will put others off from "accessing treatment".
They sing the same tune when someone also expresses displeasure at the failures of the mental health system. When meds or therapists didn't help them, their lived experience is suddenly dangerous misinformation that needs to be shut down and kept under lock and key, lest an observer get the inclination not to take their prozac anymore. By covering these things up, the situation only gets worse and worse, because nothing can improve when everyone is forced to pretend it's all A okay.
Deep down, I think some people are also a bit insecure about the level at which they do lust for life or have made peace with death, and they are afraid that being around a suicidal person will put their own beliefs, fears, and emotions into question. Once again, bad for morale. Telling everyone else they have to live no matter what can be an effective method of assuaging one's own fears about death, or the fact that misfortune circumstances could very well befall them someday.
Acknowledging that life can be miserable to the point where another person wants out is something harrowing and ugly to many people. Especially if the issues causing someone to be suicidal don't really have a solution at present.
It is not easy for most people to see the cruelty of removing one's agency and choice, because in their minds, life has to be something good and sacred no matter what, so by that moral code they believe they are are doing everyone a favor by enforcing strict prevention. You have to be a survivor, rather than a statistic. It is a hard pill to swallow that many people can and do fight their assess off for years just to survive, and still aren't happy. Our culture can't accept that just having the choice, the option to bow out when things get unbearable, can bring a world of relief to some people who have exhausted all their options.
