If someone told me an year ago where I would be now, I would have laughed in their face

[SubZero]

My life was completely normal an year ago. I had already graduated university, changed several jobs, found one in IT which I was really enjoying. It was well paid, I moved to the capital and my girlfriend moved with me. We were together for 5 years.

Covid had me stressed but I managed to get through it. I was just starting to live my old life again at the beginning of 2021. However this is where all changed.

My now dead grandmother cursed me and things started to change really bad fast. One week after the curse I experienced the most brutal pain in my whole life - back pain. I was barely laying down and gasping in pain. IT took me several doctors' visits and 3 months to get a hold of it.

Then one evening while having dinner, a hot potato burned me and I received a nasty acid reflux. Every time I ate I was in pain. this took two months to settle with a treatment.

Then my father started drinking again after being sober for 10 years. Then things god really bad. I was so stressed out for my mother, being with him, seeing him the way he was, that I received OCD. I started visiting psychologists and it was really damn difficult. More than difficult. I was barely managing.

Then my girlfriend left me after 5 years being together, because I became negative after all my health issues. Truth is she found another guy very soon. The break up left me with even bigger OCD. I was devastated.

Then my collar bone (which I broke as a kid) started hurting and torturing me out of the blue for a month.

Then my back started hurting again. I went to a chiropractor who screwed me big time. After his treatment I was left with not functioning spine. I was not able to stand up at all. I also had chills down my leg.

I went to 10 different doctors, ran MRIs , EMGs and they could not find anything abnormal except several disks that looked they were bulging but should not give me that pain. My other leg started having chills. My neck hurt and my arms started hurting and having chills to the point I could not even lie in bad without them hurting me to death. I could not take my grocery with me. It was that bad.

Then a glass stuck into my eye. I had to go to ER and I was supper stressed out already. I was looking for another accommodation at that time.

Time passed by and things were even worsening. Out of frustration I hit my head and received vertigo spells. I did MRI and nothing was found. I promised myself If I survive this I would live the best of life.

I started praying to God this to stop. I assumed with my grandmother's passing the curse will cease. The more I prayed, the worse I became.

I got a severe rash all over my body out of the blue. I was put on steroids who cleared the rash but left me with brutal vertigo. This is where I was really fucked up. I went to a doctor and they did a VNG test on my ears with hot air. Since then, 6 months have passed. I got brutal tinnitus and hyperacusis which leave me homebound.

I tried really hard at the beginning to fight them and treat them with caution however they kept on worsening no matter what I do. Now I lost my job, my life, my chance of rebuilding my life. These incurable diseases keep on worsening weekly and I am unable to stop them. Every sound hurts. I am so bad. Every time I find a little hope in myself things get worse in several days out of the blue. The curse is still going strong. Every time I had the power in me to get up and fight it brought me down with something new.

Now I know I will never be able to lead a normal life again. Not even close to normal. I will be unable to work, take care of myself and will be miserable till the rest of my days if I decide to "live". This is why I want to CTB. I really don't want to die but I don't want to live this either. I just can't keep up with the tempo of worsening. I am one of the most severe cases out there and I am sure of that after speaking with hundreds of people having this condition and comparing my situation.

I tried everything I could do, but with no avail. It is way stronger than I am. I fought all the time and did not stop. God is not helping and I feel defeated. I am wondering how to ctb so I don't hurt my parents much but there is just no way around that I guess.

Thanks to whoever read that. I just needed to vent. Just a winner in life who went on the loosing side so fast.

 

[fox_wannabe]

Maybe you should go to exorcist or some kind of shaman, they may be able to stop the curse.

 

[SubZero]

Maybe you should go to exorcist or some kind of shaman, they may be able to stop the curse.

I visited many people with no success. I think it is here to stay and will torture me until I ctb.

 

[Foresight]

When did you find out she "cursed" you? Before or after all this occured?

That's a lot to go through. Was this your dad's mother?

 

[SubZero]

When did you find out she "cursed" you? Before or after all this occured?

That's a lot to go through. Was this your dad's mother?

She cursed me before all this happened. She was cursing everyone and spraying negativity all the time. But it got me. And yes, she was my father's mother. She was the worst person I have ever met, honestly. She was not a good person.

Last words to me were "You should now how it hurts" repeated twice. We were having a phone conversation. I think this was the last time I spoke with her.

 

[fox_wannabe]

She cursed me before all this happened. She was cursing everyone and spraying negativity all the time. But it got me. And yes, she was my father's mother. She was the worst person I have ever met, honestly. She was not a good person.

Last words to me were "You should now how it hurts" repeated twice. We were having a phone conversation. I think this was the last time I spoke with her.

Have you tried apologizing to her? Or seeking help on subreddits related to curses? It might be stroke of really bad luck too. Sorry to hear that you go through this op.

 

[bad luck]

@SubZero I am a very rational person. I discovered long ago that witchcraft and such things seemed to have no effect or meaning. I read a lot (Doreen Valiente, Alesteir Crowley, Gerald Gardner, Raymond Buckland...) and others about the occult, symbolism, even Satanism or Luciferianism, but as with the Christian religion, I always saw inconsistencies. I am sure that many of these people are nothing more than charlatans with a high ego, perhaps others are not.

I am telling you this because for a few years everything has been going from bad to worse, and some friends tell me as a joke that it seems that they have cursed me, but I always had depression and my life was hard since childhood. After my divorce (he was the love of my life) I can't go on anymore. I have been with many other girls, but I have not reached a relationship like the one I had with my ex-wife.

And already, it seems that my mental ailments have brought me problems, now more so because at my age I should have a status and yet I am so precarious that I cannot afford heating in winter. It is unworthy.

 

[onleana]

my heart is breaking everytime i learn more details about what you have to deal with. im thinking about you a lot friend. sending you lots of hugs and love

 

[SubZero]

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Have you tried apologizing to her? Or seeking help on subreddits related to curses? It might be stroke of really bad luck too. Sorry to hear that you go through this op.

I apologized but after she was gone. I think it is already too late. My life is ruined with diseases who are in their severe form and have no treatment. The severity is what is killing me. I have not tried Reddit for that, will have a look. I just hope my ctb don't have any negative effect on my relatives or the future generation.

 

[Pain In The Ass]

I don't believe in curses and supernatural phenomena, but I can relate in that a few years ago my life was starting to go somewhere, I felt I had a purpose and meaning to my life more than I ever had before, then the chronic pain began and everything turned to complete shit - I too did not see this coming and would not have believed anyone if they told me I'd be in this situation 2 years down the line.

 

[Foresight]

She cursed me before all this happened. She was cursing everyone and spraying negativity all the time. But it got me. And yes, she was my father's mother. She was the worst person I have ever met, honestly. She was not a good person.

Last words to me were "You should now how it hurts" repeated twice. We were having a phone conversation. I think this was the last time I spoke with her.

Unless she was an experienced practitioner of magic I doubt she laid you out with her curse. I do believe in metaphysical occurrences, but be careful that the idea that you are cursed isn't what's actually cursing you now. Believe and know she did not have power over you because your mind might be bringing in a negative feedback loop from that belief.

Your dad falling back to alcoholism was probably from the loss of his mother bringing back up childhood issues. I hope you both get some much needed recovery time. Don't let grandma's toxicity continue, just get her out of mind and back onto your rest, recuperation, and rise. Forgiving her for her own downfall into bitterness would be the holiest thing to do.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry that you are suffering so much, it sounds so awful what you are going through, I can imagine that it must be unbearable. To me, it is horrifying that our bodies are capable of torturing us to such a great extent. I wish you the best in whatever happens.

 

[Of The Universe]

Granny didn't cause call this shit. Look,granny was fucked up,your dad was fucked up. You,I am sorry to say,are related to these people!Sounds like depression and other diseases run in your family.
It didn't help that that bitch walked out on you!
I hope you make an effort to get your life together. I know you're hurting,but I have been thinking ctb for years! It sucks donkey dick!! I wish I could be normal soooo bad.
If you are scared of irrational stuff,maybe seek out religion to speak to your emotional side.

 

[SubZero]

I actually beleive and feel she messed up my energies so bad. If you have known her you would have no doubt in what I am talking about. After that it did not matter what I did, I always ended with some nasty health issue. One after the other, sometimes they pilled on top of each other . I would have lived with all thise but tinnitus and hyperacusis are so severe now that there is no going back from ctb. The question is just when I am going to do it. There is no living with this.

My father is ok now by the way, stopped drinking and continued with his job. This was short lived but caused me so much trouble

 

[ameliacecelia]

Granny didn't cause call this shit. Look,granny was fucked up,your dad was fucked up. You,I am sorry to say,are related to these people!Sounds like depression and other diseases run in your family.
It didn't help that that bitch walked out on you!
I hope you make an effort to get your life together. I know you're hurting,but I have been thinking ctb for years! It sucks donkey dick!! I wish I could be normal soooo bad.
If you are scared of irrational stuff,maybe seek out religion to speak to your emotional side.

This is meant to be a supportive and kind community. Please keep negative comments to yourself.

 

[Pain In The Ass]

Same for me :( excruciating, debilitating pain. Never saw thus coming. Don't think I can manage much longer.

Where is the pain, what it is like, and what caused it, or what happened just before it, mental state, etc? If you don't mind sharing.