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yes absolutely, I would either just bleed out somewhere in a pretty field at sunset or I would dissect myself in someway and relish in my viscera in a white dress to create something beautiful as a final effort to be remembered like some kind of performance art
both are very reasonable :P even without pain I see why gruesome might not be the most desirable all the time,,
[also just wanted to comment on your yume nikki pfp very cool]
I envy people who have absolutely no sense of physical pain (there is such a disease)
It's just perfect for a person who wants to die.
If I didn't feel pain, I would have gone to die in the ocean
I would like to dive as deep as possible to see the underwater world.
And then it won't matter to me anymore: a shark will eat me or I will fall into the tentacles of a huge octopus. For me, it would be a scary but welcome adventure. After all, I won't feel any physical pain anyway.
Or I would choose a very high place and just jump, enjoying the flight
I have always thought I'd like to be guillotined. Have your head cut off with puddles of blood. And then someone take your head by the hair and showed all the spectators as they clapped.
Tbh the only reason I didn't choose to shoot myself or any other quick but gruesome death is because I don't want the person finding my body having to see the aftermath of my brains exploded in the room
My plan is to use a pew pew. If I do everything right, there will be no pain. I've been practicing, finally got over the flinch. Well, at least 90% of the time anyway. Need to have it down to perfect. Fucking SI.
I don't care about the temporary pain of any method, I care about whether I will be found and wind up as a cucumber for the rest of my life with the same thoughts I have now.
I've romanticized the aesthetic of seeing myself bleed out to death. Pain is one obstacle yes, but I also think it just wouldn't work either way. And I don't want to use a method I've picked for the aesthetic. I want to CTB for a logical reason, not because the part of my brain that wants pain gets too loud.
that would be interesting…kinda loving it. don't know if that would be traumatic to anyone finding me tho, especially since there's a lot of kids nearby where i am. maybe i'd go far out to do that - otherwise sticking to a peaceful route
I want to have a messy a death because if I where just to hang my self nobody will care but if I have a horrible death then it will end up on the news and people will have me stuck in there mind for a couple of days because I am a worthless human and I am constantly forgotten by everyone because I am waste of flesh and I want people to see my CTB event so they will remember my existence
I want to have a messy a death because if I where just to hang my self nobody will care but if I have a horrible death then it will end up on the news and people will have me stuck in there mind for a couple of days because I am a worthless human and I am constantly forgotten by everyone because I am waste of flesh and I want people to see my CTB event so they will remember my existence
Honestly apart of me after I ctb wants to remain a ghost for like a week before eternal sleep just to see the impact I would have on people....I wonder if my parents would curse me out like they did when they found out or if they would feel bad for ignoring it. I also wonder if my friends who ignored me when I said I had depression and called me a faker then went on to tell me their problems would be affected.. I wanna see who would care
I always thought about a messy death. I've always felt me bleeding out would feel and be such an internal release. Just drain and let my soul be free, if I am making sense. Pain would def be a blocker to that because realistically I wouldn't be able to finish and execute. Ideally I'd love a definite more peaceful way of passing for myself and others who may find me.
probably, yes. it'd kinda be an artistic thing for me. to create while being destroyed, as dumb and edgy as that sounds. the last of my energy going into messing myself up however i see fit. like i mean turning my body into a morbid art piece for whoever finds me. but i wouldn't want it to be my mom or brother or grandma who found me, so i'd either have to do it somewhere else or find a less disturbing method if i did it at home.
still, in actuality i'm a coward and don't handle pain well other than the minor SH things i do to myself, so this wouldn't ever happen.
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