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Leiden

Specialist
Sep 1, 2020
347
Dearest SS members ❤
If nobody has told you today, this week, this year, ever, you fucking matter, you mean something and you are worthwhile, special and so important! You aren't invisible. What ever you are going through, it is REAL and VALID. You have every right to feel how you feel. We have all been traumatized in one way or another that it has brought us to this site, even if knowbody else can see it, believe it, understand it, or care. This is no consolation for what you are going through, but I just want you to know that I see you, I hear you, I understand you. I am one of you. We are one in the same. Everything you are going through isn't easy and I'm so sorry it has come to this.

I love you all ❤

May peace be with you and in you with whatever you may choose.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE xo
 
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L

Leiden

Specialist
Sep 1, 2020
347
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summers

Visionary
Nov 4, 2020
2,495
Is that so? Thank you for letting me know. Im not the best speller, but I'm on a suicide website and have more pressing issues than that, but I do appreciate the correction ❤
Really sorry. I meant that as a joke - in rereading it, it didn't come across that way. Thank you for the message in your OP, it really shows that this is a caring and supportive community.
 
L

Leiden

Specialist
Sep 1, 2020
347
Edit ...Sorry for my spelling error ☺️ I have changed Knowbody to Nobody, thanx to a lovely member who brought it to my attention ❤️
Really sorry. I meant that as a joke - in rereading it, it didn't come across that way. Thank you for the message in your OP, it really shows that this is a caring and supportive community.
No problem at all @threesummers thank you again for the correction. Now I will always know the spelling of it
 
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stygal

stygal

low-wage worker
Oct 29, 2020
1,732
I hate that I only had a few moments in my life so far (at least?) where I had this feeling in reality.

In a perfect world everyone would be born in a surrounding of constant validation and love without having to do anything for it.

Thank you @Leiden <3
 
ForcedLifeResistant

ForcedLifeResistant

Member
Jul 12, 2020
62
I hate that I only had a few moments in my life so far (at least?) where I had this feeling in reality.

In a perfect world everyone would be born in a surrounding of constant validation and love without having to do anything for it.

Thank you @Leiden <3

I think we'd all wind up infantile in a world like that.
 
botanormal

botanormal

Mage
Nov 9, 2020
546
Thank you for posting such a lovely message. This community is so lucky to have members such as yourself, spreading love to those who really need it. Your words are beautiful, and I appreciate you going out of your way to say this. You really deserve some peace too, no matter what you choose to do. I'm sending big hugs your way! :hug:
 
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ForcedLifeResistant

ForcedLifeResistant

Member
Jul 12, 2020
62
Yeah sure...because love and validation is just too much to handle. God forbid everyone feels good about themselves.
Yeah, constant unconditional love and, especially, validation would be too much. Wouldn't lead to more sophisticated behavior beyond that which you'd find in nonhuman animals (assuming that, for instance, our laws of physics would function in this perfect world). Changes in behavior require variations in environmental consequences over time. Those consequences include people's reactions to observed behavior.
 
stygal

stygal

low-wage worker
Oct 29, 2020
1,732
Yeah, constant unconditional love and, especially, validation would be too much. Wouldn't lead to more sophisticated behavior beyond that which you'd find in nonhuman animals (assuming that, for instance, our laws of physics would function in this perfect world). Changes in behavior require variations in environmental consequences over time. Those consequences include people's reactions to observed behavior.
If that's what you believe - fine.
I was mainly talking about an inner circle of family and friends constantly loving you and not necessarily the whole world (that wouldn't be realistic). But I think that if parents were to show their offspring that their existence in itself is enough it would take off the constant search for gratification and strive for (unhealthy) perfectionism.
 
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L

Leiden

Specialist
Sep 1, 2020
347
I hate that I only had a few moments in my life so far (at least?) where I had this feeling in reality.

In a perfect world everyone would be born in a surrounding of constant validation and love without having to do anything for it.

Thank you @Leiden <3
I'm very sorry for that and you deserved so much better @stygal ❤️
Thank you, you are so sweet! :heart:
Thank you very much @sadworld, that is very nice to say and I appreciate it ❤️
 
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ForcedLifeResistant

ForcedLifeResistant

Member
Jul 12, 2020
62
If that's what you believe - fine.
I was mainly talking about an inner circle of family and friends constantly loving you and not necessarily the whole world (that wouldn't be realistic). But I think that if parents were to show their offspring that their existence in itself is enough it would take off the constant search for gratification and strive for (unhealthy) perfectionism.
It's not just my belief. It's behavior analysis 101. A good primer for it is Julie Vargas' Behavior Analysis for Effective Teaching.

I don't know. I don't think I'd ever want believe that my mere existence was sufficient. Merely existing isn't especially interesting to me.
 
L

Leiden

Specialist
Sep 1, 2020
347
Thank you for posting such a lovely message. This community is so lucky to have members such as yourself, spreading love to those who really need it. Your words are beautiful, and I appreciate you going out of your way to say this. You really deserve some peace too, no matter what you choose to do. I'm sending big hugs your way! :hug:
Thank you so much @botanormal for your lovely message ❤️ sending hugs back at you
I feel flattered!
Thanks a bunch! =)
You are very welcome @WarnOutLife ❤️
 
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stygal

stygal

low-wage worker
Oct 29, 2020
1,732
It's not just my belief. It's behavior analysis 101. A good primer for it is Julie Vargas' Behavior Analysis for Effective Teaching.

I don't know. I don't think I'd ever want believe that my mere existence was sufficient. Merely existing isn't especially interesting to me.

But why has existence only some sort of value if you fight or struggle in it?
I don't get it.
Sounds unpleasant and draining.

We basically have all the means to treat each other nicely and yet we don't.
 
ForcedLifeResistant

ForcedLifeResistant

Member
Jul 12, 2020
62
But why has existence only some sort of value if you fight or struggle in it?
I don't get it.
Sounds unpleasant and draining.

We basically have all the means to treat each other nicely and yet we don't.
I personally want to do more than just exist because I don't like existence. At least, I don't like the human experience of it. I'm not sure what I'm gonna do about it, apart from CTB, but I know it will require a monumental effort on my part and that my pusuits are so idiosyncratic that I'll have little to no support. It's gonna hard until the very end. I'm not celebrating that. I wish getting any given thing done was easier. But it isn't.

Yes, we often don't treat each other as well as we could. I'm not a fan of high praise. I don't trust it. Maybe because I've recieved mostly ridicule throughout my life. That I could certainly do without. I'd like the baseline to be somehow neutral and go uphill from there.
 
stygal

stygal

low-wage worker
Oct 29, 2020
1,732
I personally want to do more than just exist because I don't like existence. At least, I don't like the human experience of it. I'm not sure what I'm gonna do about it, apart from CTB, but I know it will require a monumental effort on my part and that my pusuits are so idiosyncratic that I'll have little to no support. It's gonna hard until the very end. I'm not celebrating that. I wish getting any given thing done was easier. But it isn't.

Yes, we often don't treat each other as well as we could. I'm not a fan of high praise. I don't trust it. Maybe because I've recieved mostly ridicule throughout my life. That I could certainly do without. I'd like the baseline to be somehow neutral and go uphill from there.
I don't like my current situation and existence either (hence me being here), which is the reason why I'm thinking that a more supportive surrounding could have helped me develop more self-esteem or by not pushing me as hard I wouldn't have developed mental impairments hindering me from living a fulfilling life.
But what's done is done.

Having trust issues might stem from not receiving the right amount of support at certain times (imo).
Definitely sounds like you didn't have an good environment to back you up.

If the least families could do is treat each other neutral I'd be okay with that.
 
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