Discussion If I want to live stream/record my exit for others to see: Is there something wrong with me?

[wait-bus-stop]

I'm wondering if you're actually planning on doing this or if it's purely a fantasy?

Do you see it as something like a goodbye thread?
,

To be honest - I don't know - but it maybe a goodbye thread - in someways that seems to resonate

.......On top of that, kids might accidently watch that and their going to end up traumatised which is undesirable.

I am more worried that people who shouldn't see it and stumbles across it than how it might be used. But worrying about who sees it, is not any different in choosing your location, ie where children might gather - such as CTB in a kids playground. They shouldn't have to find a body on their swings in the morning

 

[6MillionWaystoDie]

Unpopular opinion: It is not your job to worry about someone else. Many people think they are doing acts in the name of helping others and these acts often go unrecognized with zero outward benefit. Every human is nothing but a speck in the universe. People who like to force label everything as bad or good tend to have a limited perspective on the world. They also seek to push their opinions and values on everyone else as a means of controlling their environment. When one is able to control their environment it often makes them feel better about themselves.

Each person gets to decide the labels of good and bad for themselves outside of those pre-determined by the law to be legal, illegal, or even bordering on illegal. All that matters is how you choose to label it again within the confines of legality as I just mentioned above.

You are not some hero charged with the responsibility of saving the world from all perceived ills. People who open the Pandora's box called the internet should expect that encountering both wanted and unwanted content is a possibility.

For example, I think the majority of social media is garbage. I use the internet solely for learning and expansion of my mind. The likelihood of me coming across any undesired content is literally near zero because I don't hang out, online, in areas where that content would exist. If I were worried about a minor in my care accessing unwanted content, I would similarly add guardrails to their experience such that their likelihood of encountering undesirable content is also near zero.

If worrying about someone else is your only consideration for not livestreaming then you are not fulfilling yourself. And in your last moments I think you should be thinking solely about you. After all its the last thing you will ever do! Therefore I would approach this differently. As @Wasted Potential suggested, I would go through the process of determing why you want to do it. If your reasons start to vere towards areas of illegality or significant harm to others then I'd label it as "bad" or unhealthy. If your reasons for streaming are no where near any of that then I would go through with it.

For example, your reasoning may be to feel more connected to the world. If that were your dying wish then why should you deprive yourself of that feeling just because some person similarly using the internet for their purposes didnt consider that seeing your death was a possibility? I'm 100% sure I'd never come across your video unless it were here.

Imho people who are advising you not to do it, people automatically labeling it as unhealthy, or those suggesting that you go through unnatural motions to shield the world of your livestream are no better or different than those "fixers" that everyone here despises. Their advice suggests that you assist in sanitizing the world similar to those fixers wanting to sanitize the world of suicide by removing this website from *their* precious internet. Again the fixers are trying to control the environment. These suggested actions are more of the same.

Dignitas, a well recognized organization, has posted their assisted suicides on YouTube and other places on the web for anyone in the world to see. Why would your choice be any more different or repugnant if done with clean and pure motivations??

 

[wait-bus-stop]

Unpopular opinion: It is not your job to worry about someone else. Many people think they are doing acts in the name of helping others and these acts often go unrecognized with zero outward benefit. Every human is nothing but a speck in the universe. People who like to force label everything as bad or good tend to have a limited perspective on the world. They also seek to push their opinions and values on everyone else as a means of controlling their environment. When one is able to control their environment it often makes them feel better about themselves.

Each person gets to decide the labels of good and bad for themselves outside of those pre-determined by the law to be legal, illegal, or even bordering on illegal. All that matters is how you choose to label it again within the confines of legality as I just mentioned above.

You are not some hero charged with the responsibility of saving the world from all perceived ills. People who open the Pandora's box called the internet should expect that encountering both wanted and unwanted content is a possibility.

For example, I think the majority of social media is garbage. I use the internet solely for learning and expansion of my mind. The likelihood of me coming across any undesired content is literally near zero because I don't hang out, online, in areas where that content would exist. If I were worried about a minor in my care accessing unwanted content, I would similarly add guardrails to their experience such that their likelihood of encountering undesirable content is also near zero.

If worrying about someone else is your only consideration for not livestreaming then you are not fulfilling yourself. And in your last moments I think you should be thinking solely about you. After all its the last thing you will ever do! Therefore I would approach this differently. As @Wasted Potential suggested, I would go through the process of determing why you want to do it. If your reasons start to vere towards areas of illegality or significant harm to others then I'd label it as "bad" or unhealthy. If your reasons for streaming are no where near any of that then I would go through with it.

For example, your reasoning may be to feel more connected to the world. If that were your dying wish then why should you deprive yourself of that feeling just because some person similarly using the internet for their purposes didnt consider that seeing your death was a possibility? I'm 100% sure I'd never come across your video unless it were here.

Imho people who are advising you not to do it, people automatically labeling it as unhealthy, or those suggesting that you go through unnatural motions to shield the world of your livestream are no better or different than those "fixers" that everyone here despises. Their advice suggests that you assist in sanitizing the world similar to those fixers wanting to sanitize the world of suicide by removing this website from *their* precious internet. Again the fixers are trying to control the environment. These suggestions actions are more of the same.

Dignitas, a well recognized organization, has posted their assisted suicides on YouTube and other places on the web for anyone in the world to see. Why would your choice be any more different or repugnant if done with clean and pure motivations??

Thank you for your reply - it is well thought out - and I will spend sometime thinking about your words

Always feel free to PM if you want to continue your thoughts

 

[Unlucked]

Do others have those feelings? I don't know where those thoughts/desires are coming from.

I think it depends why you are wanting to live stream it, is it sort of like you want to immortalize yourself in the minds of others, or have your death be public for all posterity, do you want to show people the process of dying for scientific reasons etc.

I think I might live stream mine, or do a private stream, because I don't really have any friends in person, and I don't have any online really except 1 person, so if I did it would be due to not wanting to die alone, I think if people where there watching what would happen to me I would feel less alone. I was also invisible / unnoticed in life so that would be my last act of defiance I guess. That's why I would do it, not sure if I will yet... dysphoria still plagues me terribly.

I knew a Swedish man from this site named letze, and he live streamed his, he invited me but I couldn't bring myself to open the stream... in any case there are some who have done it... I think its something that should definitely be more private though, if possible. Like sending links to specific people rather than have it posted on a gore site...

 

[wait-bus-stop]

I think it depends why you are wanting to live stream it, is it sort of like you want to immortalize yourself in the minds of others, or have your death be public for all posterity, do you want to show people the process of dying for scientific reasons etc.

I think I might live stream mine, or do a private stream, because I don't really have any friends in person, and I don't have any online really except 1 person, so if I did it would be due to not wanting to die alone, I think if people where there watching what would happen to me I would feel less alone. I was also invisible / unnoticed in life so that would be my last act of defiance I guess. That's why I would do it, not sure if I will yet... dysphoria still plagues me terribly.

I knew a Swedish man from this site named letze, and he live streamed his, he invited me but I couldn't bring myself to open the stream... in any case there are some who have done it... I think its something that should definitely be more private though, if possible. Like sending links to specific people rather than have it posted on a gore site...

Thank you for your thoughts :)

 

[wait-bus-stop]

Despite the cautions expressed above. if someone wanted to stream live or delayed, for whatever reason - and tried to keep away from facetime live so as not in front of children or unexpecting adults

How could they pull it off? Any ideas? Where do they announce it?

 

[Himalayan]

There's probably something wrong whit you indeed. Just don't ask me what exactly is wrong whit you.

 

[ivzxkou]

probably, but i understand. recently i was in the ICU for a serious health issue. my life is shit so i had no visitors the whole time. i thought about jumping out the hospital window. it would be nice to have an audience and not die alone right? i want others to see. have you heard of rorochan_1999? she livestreamed her own exit. it's a sad situation but she was not alone. i respect that.

 

[wait-bus-stop]

it would be nice to have an audience and not die alone right? i want others to see.

Streaming may be part of that answer - it resonates

 

[blackmillenium]

It's unlikely anyone would come across such footage unless they were looking for it. What's a streaming website that wouldn't delete the video?

 

[lukas19]

Thank you for your response I do really appreciate a dialogue on this. To be honest, I don't know where the feelings come from. They just have been growing lately. Maybe it's a sense of a final need to be humiliated or maybe not being alone.

I wish I knew. That is one of the reasons I am reaching out here, to see if others have similar thoughts and how they explain them.

Feel free to add your thoughts or PM me, I am interested in what you have to say.

Check out the livestreamed suicides on livegore.com, imagine it is you. See if that encourages or puts you off livestreaming it. For me i
want my death to be private. Would you like any of your loved ones see it?

It's unlikely anyone would come across such footage unless they were looking for it. What's a streaming website that wouldn't delete the video?

livegore.com has loads

 

[macrocosm]

It's important to consider the potential harm that live streaming or recording your exit could have on others who may witness it. It's understandable to feel overwhelmed and have the desire to share your experience, but it's not a safe or healthy option.

I think it would not be considerate to others and will probably just reinforce the anti-suicide public opinion. I think it's a personal and sacred experience and other could find it unsettling and emotionally harmful. Why would you want others to see it though?

 

[charlotte_]

I understand how these desires could form, maybe because you've been lacking attention for such a long time except for times you do smth that's considered bad or harmful. Therefore, you might want to do that to make ppl pay attention to you, or feel bad or guilty. Maybe it could be because you think suicide shouldn't be seen as bad, and want to make everyone witness it realisitically. Maybe there could be other reasons idk. These are pretty basic desires, however, I wouldn't reccomend doing that. It traumatizes a lot of people and people's memories probably won't last so long anyway. Maybe you could write a suicide not and mention everyone that had done wrong to u or everyone who u feel grateful to and let them read after, but pls dont film it.

 

[ctb-soon]

I understand how these desires could form, maybe because you've been lacking attention for such a long time except for times you do smth that's considered bad or harmful. Therefore, you might want to do that to make ppl pay attention to you, or feel bad or guilty. Maybe it could be because you think suicide shouldn't be seen as bad, and want to make everyone witness it realisitically. Maybe there could be other reasons idk. These are pretty basic desires, however, I wouldn't reccomend doing that. It traumatizes a lot of people and people's memories probably won't last so long anyway. Maybe you could write a suicide not and mention everyone that had done wrong to u or everyone who u feel grateful to and let them read after, but pls dont film it.

I'm inclined to think it's a question of preference. Maybe you want to do it in a forest or a hotel room or on a delayed or livestream. I really don't think people should over think it. As long as people who should not see it are protected. Then being watched is not any different fro other choices

 

[ddn.ctb]

I don't see any problem with streaming your suicide. I plan to do it that way - probably in a webcam-type webcast with a selected audience.