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If I die tonight
Thread starterDownandout82
Start date
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Would u really be happy to die I would love for this to happen but i have to wait 1 week to get out the hospital as they stopped me. I've been told today I can leave next week so am happy as I have my fool prove plan now, Sometimes I don't no if I really wanted to die ? now I no I do is anyone else ever been unsure?
I've been not sure for a long time but I've also thought for some time now that maybe I should prepare my exit kit. Even if it's only just to have it. I think that it might make me feel better to know I have it available, even if I don't have an active plan to use it just yet.
I'd certainly be very relieved to finally be free from this cruel and torturous existence that has caused me nothing but suffering, I'm not meant to suffer in this existence, I'm only meant for the peace that only eternal nothingness can bring. Only non-existence is ideal to me as after all it isn't like I could be harmed by the peace of an eternal, dreamless sleep, only death comforts me personally, I find it dreadful and terrifying how a human could potentially exist for so long and suffer to unlimited amounts, I'd never wish for the burden of existence no matter what.
I'm giving my new mental health team a chance to help me and I'm giving it my all. But I have my kit ready if, at the end, life is still as awful as it is now for me.
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