If being ugly ONLY affected getting relationships, I'd be content with that

[death137]

I found it on reddit

 

[Journeytoletgo]

God I cannot wait to get out of here. I'm sorry bro you're a sufferer of this, I'm tired of society diminishing the struggle and forcing someone to continue to live

 

[whatevs]

If you are fugly and want to die because of it that's only fair.

 

[ikadasui]

It's truly a nightmare. Just today when I was walking to the bus stop to go slave away at my job I saw a fair skinned shirtless guy jogging with the ideal body type I want and I wanted to throw myself into traffic. Why did I have to see that when I was already miserable and on my way to work? I had to get up at ass o'clock to go have a bad day then be exposed to something that I desperately crave but will be impossible for me to get on top of it lmao it really felt like a sick joke.

 

[Foresight]

If you dip low enough into ugliness your quality of life becomes inhumane.

 

[FuneralCry]

This life is so unfair, many people are disadvantaged through no fault of their own. That is why I see it as being better to never be born in the first place. This life is very depressing. To me it is sad that there is so much suffering in this world.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

Tbh it's really a losing hand in my opinion for me , for myself the moment this cursed skin disease ruined my life and caused me bullying/abuse then to be taken advantage of by a POS guy that preyed on my low self esteem, naivety causing me more trauma.

 

[Foresight]

I'm so ugly that when I take my N and the authorities come get my body nobody will wonder why I did it.

It hurts me so bad every single day. Please be kind to the ugly people you encounter. I never forget the people who chose to be kind to me.

 

[death137]

If you are fugly and want to die because of it that's only fair.

Are you saying like "it's understandable if ugly ppl want to die"?

 

[yive]

i absolutely wouldn't be "content" with that, but of course looks are extremely important in this life and being ugly really sucks. you were unfortunate enough to be born ugly? you will be bullied, ridiculed, considered "weird", an outcast, etc. its worse than unfair. life sucks and this world is a horrible mistake

 

[Beer]

Tbh it's really a losing hand in my opinion for me , for myself the moment this cursed skin disease ruined my life and caused me bullying/abuse then to be taken advantage of by a POS guy that preyed on my low self esteem, naivety causing me more trauma.

My skin is very bad as well. Everytime I look into the mirror my acne/acne scars make me want to kill myself

 

[Journeytoletgo]

My skin is very bad as well. Everytime I look into the mirror my acne/acne scars make me want to kill myself

I know the struggle. I'm sorry you're suffering in pain. Currently there seems to be no cure

 

[brainpain2]

Well if you makes you feel any better I went through adulthood conventionally attractive. Didn't matter though, I was still a failure in every way. ADHD makes me a little odd and sure, i probably got treated better than ugly people at times but really, people just wanted to bang me. You never know who's sincere to you when they're nice to you (hint: most are not). And that got old. I also still hated myself and never saw myself as attractive. A lot of attractive people never believe it about themselves.
Also, even the most attractive people get older and ugly. Women over 30, especially 40, are considered useless to society and most men our age won't give us a second look. Society applauds youth, especially in women. So having looks is only a temporary privilege.

 

[whatevs]

Are you saying like "it's understandable if ugly ppl want to die"?

No, I'm saying it's understandable if very ugly people want to die.

 

[Pluto]

To be fair, being excessively attractive seems to be a pretty awful fate as well. There are plenty of them on this website. To be treated as a human and live a reasonable life in our materialistic society, one has to be considered normal and not stand out too much.

On a constructive note, there have been people who are very successful, respected and content without physical attractiveness. As an example, Stephen Hawking once said of his life, "Who could have asked for more?"

Having said all that, my personal experience aligns with others here and physical appearance is a factor behind my suicidality, if only because looks might compensate for flaws in my personality to some degree and limit the depths of isolation and mental illness to which I have sunk.

 

[BlazingBob]

"Look at you. What do you have to be depressed about?" I've heard that more than once when trying to get help, from various professionals. One of the last psychiatrists I saw said, "Why you're a handsome devil". Lots of women have used me as a rebound or just for fun when all I wanted was more than anything was a stable, long term committed relationship. Unfortunately that is something that has eluded me my entire life. Nice girls always assumed I was a player and would shy away when nothing could be further from the truth. Both ends of the looks spectrum can be painfully lonely and problematic.

 

[g0921]

Seen enough pretty girls/boys get away from shits they done just becoz they look nice.
Life is not fair....O<<

 

[Superdeterminist]

On a constructive note, there have been people who are very successful, respected and content without physical attractiveness. As an example, Stephen Hawking once said of his life, "Who could have asked for more?"

That's a silly thing for Hawking to say, imo. He could've asked not to be a sufferer of ALS for example, to make the obvious point. I would've liked to challenge him on that.

 

[Ethereal Knight]

(...) people just wanted to bang me. You never know who's sincere to you when they're nice to you (...)

that's very bad. I've seen it too. it's like most "friends": they are not friends. they are there just to get something, not because they like me or wants to be real friends.

people in general suck.
you'll be treated better and get more chances in every area of life if you're beautiful, like you said jobs etc, certainly will get more sex opportunities, and some of these may turn into long-term relationships...

but don't think that being beautiful is an "instant win button", it's not. there probably are a lot of beautiful people lonely, depressed and isolated out there.
it's way worse for ugly people, but there are many other factors involved too...

 

[gottago222]

i am beautiful and have been raped multiple times, molested, sexually assaulted over 100 times (not an exaggeration), i am still mentally ill, broke, will never be able to support myself and will ctb very soon. this planet is hell for most people.

 

[Foresight]

I'm going to have to be blunt and say it's straight up delusional to think being beautiful compares to being very ugly. It's really a trigger point because it's honestly an invalidating statement. As someone who became ugly later in life I know both worlds and it borders on insulting. It's like saying to a cancer patient "to be fair allergies are pretty hard. Allergies can even kill you with anaphylaxis!" Okay? We're talking about cancer, thanks for your input. Cancer patients can have allergies too. Ugly people get raped too, trust me, I know. We're dehumanized as well to a great extent, arguably to a greater extent. There are particular horrible struggles to being ugly a beautiful person will never understand. There's a reason people want to be beautiful and there's a reason people hate being called ugly. Let's be real here.

 

[gottago222]

I'm going to have to be blunt and say it's straight up delusional to think being beautiful compares to being very ugly. It's really a trigger point because it's honestly an invalidating statement. As someone who became ugly later in life I know both worlds and it borders on insulting. It's like saying to a cancer patient "to be fair allergies are pretty hard. Allergies can even kill you with anaphylaxis!" Okay? We're talking about cancer, thanks for your input. Cancer patients can have allergies too. Ugly people get raped too, trust me, I know. We're dehumanized as well to a great extent, arguably to a greater extent. There are particular horrible struggles to being ugly a beautiful person will never understand. There's a reason people want to be beautiful and there's a reason people hate being called ugly. Let's be real here.

why couldnt you tag me???

 

[Foresight]

why couldnt you tag me???

Because there's more than one person bringing up beauty and it's about the subject matter. What happened to you as an individual is awful. I would never invalidate what you've been through.

I just had to speak my truth on this one. There are real struggles to being an outlier on either side, but just let it be known that they are not comparable.

 

[Thisgirlwantstosleep]

Was just having a screaming/crying session over this.

It's unbearable to live in your skin as an ugly person

 

[JinZhin]

One literally cannot win

If you're unnatractive, you will be discriminated against, ignored, not be able to get as many opportunities, it's a sad truth but all people, and NOT only potential romantic partners, but clerks, medical professionals, job interviewers won't treat you the same, they won't be kind and would be much less likely to go out of their way to help you, lookism is real af and it's understandable that someone who is considered ugly can very easily suffer immensely and end up feeling like a less of a person.

If you're attractive, any accident, disease or simply passage of time can very easily ruin your looks so that's one thing to be anxious about (especially if your job is heavily tied to appearance), and when people treat you better, it's either because they want something from or only see you as an object to satisfy their desires (especially if you're a woman), and then even if you accomplish something you and others around you will doubt it's only because of looks.

 

[waitingforrest]

The love yourself statement is hard when nobody loves you.

 

[ncmxm]

I'm going to have to be blunt and say it's straight up delusional to think being beautiful compares to being very ugly. It's really a trigger point because it's honestly an invalidating statement. As someone who became ugly later in life I know both worlds and it borders on insulting. It's like saying to a cancer patient "to be fair allergies are pretty hard. Allergies can even kill you with anaphylaxis!" Okay? We're talking about cancer, thanks for your input. Cancer patients can have allergies too. Ugly people get raped too, trust me, I know. We're dehumanized as well to a great extent, arguably to a greater extent. There are particular horrible struggles to being ugly a beautiful person will never understand. There's a reason people want to be beautiful and there's a reason people hate being called ugly. Let's be real here.

Thank you so much for saying this, I couldn't agree more. It infuriates me when people start talking about how beautiful people have problems too and are depressed too etc, sure that's true, but like we say here, better to cry in a Maserati than on a bike. It's better to have problems and be depressed while being beautiful than while being ugly. Even when we unattractive people talk about our problems we still can't avoid the attractive peopleand the conversation still becomes about attractive people. Truly there is no place for us in this world.

 

[LastFlowers]

i am beautiful and have been raped multiple times, molested, sexually assaulted over 100 times (not an exaggeration), i am still mentally ill, broke, will never be able to support myself and will ctb very soon. this planet is hell for most people.

So you're saying this is exclusive to beautiful people?
(Nobody ever said there are not other forms of suffering which any and all people can succumb to. No one was denying you that, but the way you word your comment is dangerous and manipulative as it alludes to an insidious belief which further vilifies and brings into disrepute the agony and pleas of physically unattractive people.)

This is the reason so many unattractive rape and sexual assault victims are never believed, many don't even come forward because they know the type of backlash they will receive will be 100x that of a good looking person.
On that note, many unattractive people are TARGETED for that reason.
You were not raped because you are beautiful, stop conflating the two.
Beauty is one of the most significant privileges in this world, always has been.
Your assaults and damage is a terrible thing, make no mistake- but please do not make them out to be a result of a privilege, many beautiful people have never been assaulted in that manner, or any manner at all.

Every single time some poor soul wants to lament and find comfort in others over their unfortunate appearance, the "beautiful people" ALWAYS have to come in and shut it down in some way, shape or form..it's like the wealthy being offended by the poor lamenting their poverty.
Enough already.

To everyone doing this-STOP IT.

I don't see this type of thing happen nearly as much for any other topic (even ones which arguably could stand it) it's sickening!
Let people grieve! Let people with this issue talk about it without the constant bombardment of "I AM PRETTY BUT I SUFFER TOO, LOOK AT ME, I SUFFER, SO BOO TO YOU UGLY PEOPLE!"

The sense of entitlement from being attractive is obviously rubbing off in other areas.
There is no other explanation for why this always happens, without fail, every single thread I've seen headed with an appearance related disadvantage eventually devolves into this cacophony.
I have some privileges too, albeit less notable, however I don't go knocking my head into every post where those without those privileges are suffering dearly by being barred from them.
So I really don't understand the incessant need for those who possess the privilege of beauty to crawl out of the woodwork to state their absolutely unnecessary and irrelevant piece into the conversation.

Is it a need to retain the limelight?
What IS it?
Honestly, what the hell is it?

Normally I would have a little more sensitivity toward all those involved with this nonsense, but I have seen this occur 1000 times too many, and I am at my fucking wits' end.

 

[gottago222]

So you're saying this is exclusive to beautiful people?
(Nobody ever said there are not other forms of suffering which any and all people can succumb to. No one was denying you that, but the way you word your comment is dangerous and manipulative as it alludes to an insidious belief which further vilifies and disreputes the agony and pleas of physically unattractive people.)

This is the reason so many unattractive rape and sexual assault victims are never believed, many don't even come forward because they know the type of backlash they will receive will be 100x that of a good looking person.
On that note, many unattractive people are TARGETED for that reason.
You were not raped because you are beautiful, stop conflating the two.
Beauty is one of the most significant privileges in this world, always has been.
Your assaults and damage is a terrible thing, make no mistake- but please do not make them out to be a result of a privilege, many beautiful people have never been assaulted in that manner, or any manner at all.

Every single time some poor soul wants to lament and find comfort in others over their unfortunate appearance, the "beautiful people" ALWAYS have to come in and shut it down in some way, shape or form..it's like the wealthy being offended by the poor lamenting their poverty.
Enough already.

To everyone doing this-STOP IT.

I don't see this type of thing happen nearly as much for any other topic (even ones which arguably could stand it) it's sickening!
Let people grieve! Let people with this issue talk about it without the constant bombardment of "I AM PRETTY BUT I SUFFER TOO, LOOK AT ME, I SUFFER, SO BOO TO YOU UGLY PEOPLE!"

The sense of entitlement from being attractive is obviously rubbing off in other areas.
There is no other explanation for why this always happens, without fail, every single thread I've seen headed with an appearance related disadvantage eventually devolves into this cacophony.
I have some privileges too, albeit less noatable, however I don't go knocking my head into every post where those without those privileges are suffering dearly by being barred from them.
So I really don't understand the incessant need for those who possess the privilege of beauty to crawl out of the woodwork to state their absolutely unnecessary and irrelevant piece into the conversation.

Is it a need to retain the limelight?
What IS it?
Honestly, what the hell is it?

Normally I would have a little more sensitivity toward all those involved with this nonsense, but I have seen this occur 1000 times too many, and I am at my fucking wits' end.

im not reading all of that

 

[LastFlowers]

"Look at you. What do you have to be depressed about?" I've heard that more than once when trying to get help, from various professionals. One of the last psychiatrists I saw said, "Why you're a handsome devil". Lots of women have used me as a rebound or just for fun when all I wanted was more than anything was a stable, long term committed relationship. Unfortunately that is something that has eluded me my entire life. Nice girls always assumed I was a player and would shy away when nothing could be further from the truth. Both ends of the looks spectrum can be painfully lonely and problematic.

Not exclusive to attractive people, I have had my own depression and woes dismissed and trivialized constantly, and it certainly was not because I was too good looking.
Being used?
Also very common for average and unattractive looking people, in about every way you could possibly imagine.

I can tell you right now, that your handsome appearance is not why you're not getting into a stable, long-term relationship.
NO. Both ends of the looks spectrum are NOT comparable, nor are they equally "painfully lonely or problematic", even average looking people would kill to be in your position-appearance wise.
(Attractive people always have the option of downplaying their looks, not to mention.)
The opening post is also regarding the fact that being unlucky with your looks affects far more than the endeavor of a romantic relationship.

If you try to make out all your issues to be a result of a privilege, then I can honestly understand why others would be befuddled by that.
If you have unrelated issues that you suffer from and they STILL try to deny them by bringing up your appearance, then yes, that is a problem, and they should not be doing that.
But your comment makes it sound as if your issues are due to your good looks, which is, as someone else pointed out, incredibly insulting (and myopic to believe).

If you're attractive, any accident, disease or simply passage of time can very easily ruin your looks so that's one thing to be anxious about (especially if your job is heavily tied to appearance), and when people treat you better, it's either because they want something from or only see you as an object to satisfy their desires (especially if you're a woman), and then even if you accomplish something you and others around you will doubt it's only because of looks

I understand that you're tying to be appreciative of both sides here, but it only hurts those suffering from the titular issue.

None of this is exclusive to good looking people. We all age. The unattractive become even less attractive, disease and accidents can and have done the same-to anyone.
All things leave us or depreciate with the passage of time, but those who start off on a better foot or can sow their lives among fertilized soil will reap the benefits even in their elderly years.
Unattractive people are used all the time, for various reasons, and they are expected to be glad for it, to be glad that someone even found any use out of them at all.

As for accomplishing something..well, looks really do open doors and allow for opportunities and progression that would not be had otherwise.
Would you rather have the door slammed shut in your face and never get anywhere at all (without absolutely killing yourself overcompensating to catch up)?
Is it always "only" looks that got a person where they are? No.
But it's almost always a factor, even in areas of life you wouldn't normally think so.
And on the flip side, even the unattractive people who manage to get ahead in life will still constantly have their appearance dogged on and thrown in their face, even more so because they may be in the public eye.
Just look at all the female politicians (and male ones quite frankly) who have their appearance picked apart and have their stances discarded in favor of rating their faces and bodies below a certain threshold.
If attractive people have such a problem with this then they can easily destroy their appearance (whereas the reverse is notoriously difficult).

These pitfalls you are finding with being attractive are nitpicks, which can be had with ANY good thing in this life.
They are not disadvantages.

Example (back to the possible loss of looks):
If a healthy/able bodied person loses their arm are we supposed to feel worse for them because the burn victim who also lost their arm was already out for the count?
(That makes no sense at all.)
Should we also feel more for the billionaire who lost their fortune than the impoverished who never had so much as hot running water in their life?

Do you see what I'm saying?
I truly just want people to understand how backwards this line of thinking is.

Well if you makes you feel any better I went through adulthood conventionally attractive. Didn't matter though, I was still a failure in every way. ADHD makes me a little odd and sure, i probably got treated better than ugly people at times but really, people just wanted to bang me. You never know who's sincere to you when they're nice to you (hint: most are not). And that got old. I also still hated myself and never saw myself as attractive. A lot of attractive people never believe it about themselves.
Also, even the most attractive people get older and ugly. Women over 30, especially 40, are considered useless to society and most men our age won't give us a second look. Society applauds youth, especially in women. So having looks is only a temporary privilege.

This isn't going to make anyone genuinely suffering this issue feel any better, because they know better.

(See all of my above replies^)

Everything is temporary.
This does not mean that privileges don't have an insane amount of value and stock, because they absolutely do, and to minimize them is appalling and extremely detrimental to those who suffer without them.

Ugly people don't know sincerity any more than attractive people do, nobody even wants to get to know an ugly person, many who cling to their sides are not doing so because they like or appreciate who the person is, but because it makes them feel better about themselves in comparison, they feel comfortable around those less fortunate in their looks, for all the wrong reasons.

Your failures were not because of your privilege, that is the major difference between the point being made in this opening post versus the points people like you are attempting to make.

Is a roof over my head going to stop me from being suicidal? No.
But am I going to go into threads about homelessness and whine about how said roof "doesn't matter"?
Fuck no.

Just because you hated yourself and didn't see yourself as attractive (but somehow still know deep down that you are..?) does not mean you are anywhere near in the same category as those who are genuinely physically unattractive.
You still get all the external privileges and perks of being good looking whether you believe it or not, whether you want to recognize them or not, and even beyond that, you obviously had the truth looming in your mind, you were not in a hopeless, doubtless situation when looking into the mirror as truly ugly people are.
That is the frank reality. And you know it.
You've just never lived without.

As for the age thing, I'll grant you this..yes youth is a huge factor in how women (especially) are valued, but it all plays into the same topic, youth is looks, as long as you LOOK youthful, people don't care as much about the actual number (unless you're on the topic of one's "biological clock").
And even so, an older attractive woman (or man) is still better off than her (or his) unattractive counterparts in the same age range (or did you totally forget about them?), not to mention sometimes even youth cannot save you if you're 'ugly', I know of women who are overlooked for their prettier MOTHERS all the time. Explain that one.