Ideas for how to tell people/health staff that you're suicidal without being sectioned / judged.

[Suicidebydeath]

This is how I'm thinking of approaching it, since they keep asking me whether I'm suicidal and I keep saying "no", and that might negatively affect my diagnosis and the help I need/receive. I'm pretty sure the person I love is going to be ok for a while, so I can take a little risk, for a better chance of recovery but absence from them, as well. As long as they let me tell her, which they should. Unsure where to post this, mod can move it to suicide or sticky it if it seems helpful I suppose. Maybe maybe a sticky with helpful medication if there isn't one already, admit I have not checked for that. So I put it in recovery, I put the other one about the helpful drug in suicide forum. Do whatever you want with them, just trying to help people yo :)

Here's the way I might open up about suicide without getting judged / sectioned by health/other people for "inappropriate thinking" or whatever. Trigger warning/assholes, Yeah someone actually negatively judged me for feeling suicidal before, on reddit or something. Wtf. This is why SaSu >>> Reddit.


"Yes I feel suicidal, but I'm not suicidal. Reaching out for help, is my suicide attempt. It just has a low risk of self-harm with a higher chance of receiving help. The way I see it, suicidal people have 2 main rational options. option A) "low risk" attempt to reach out and get help. B) A guaranteed attempt, tailored to individual's needs. E.g. a peaceful attempt. Some people also pick options C/D/E etc for various reasons with varying effects. I chose the most sensible option A that was available to me at the current time.
If I was suicidal, I would be dead. Since I have not acquired the means nor ever made an attempt and only felt that way, then I feel suicidal but I am not suicidal."


So something like the above. My A was going to A&E. The risk was COVID/random car crash/etc, which I didn't even consider as a risk really. The goal was to get help. Now I can get around that I said no to previous questions without appearing deceitful by saying that I heard them ask if I was suicidal and not whether I felt it, or felt it in the past. Big differences. I won't tell them I thought about doing specific things, that's probably ok, but too much risk for me.

Obviously you can tailor it to yourself, if you made prior attempts, going for option B-E etc, but it probably adds risk in this world we live in. Hope this is helpful to another person that is trying to get help, if I go along with this risk, I'll try to let you know how it all works for me personally, but everyone's situation is different. I can't guarantee a positive outcome from this.

 

[timf]

You maybe walking a tightrope as standards for taking action can vary as well as the individual interpretation of the standards.

You might mention that your depression can get so bad that sometimes you despair of life. This may prompt the direct question are you suicidal? If you want to walk closer to the edge, you might say, "Sometimes I wonder".

The problem is that it is so hard to know where the edge is.

 

[subj]

How about I" have suicidal thoughts but Im not planning to do it".

 

[Slaanesh]

I told my therapist that I was suicidal, but it was ok because "I'm in a safe environment" (I'm living with my family).

That seemed to at least ease any talk of mental institutions.

 

[Suicidebydeath]

How about I" have suicidal thoughts but Im not planning to do it".

Perfect. Makes sense, I'm fairly sure I've seen that phrase about the forum a lot and its probably because it's the correct thing to say and healthcare people may have nudged people to phrase it that way. Makes a lot of sense to me in that light.

Great replies everyone gets some rare (I)s from me :)

To be honest I should be ok, I've admitted having suicidal feelings in the past. I didn't get very much help, I think I had a few emails or social worker visits, can't remember exactly now, but I tend to slip through the cracks of this crappy system all of the time. I'm most likely viewed as a very low suicide risk anyway, which is what I am. I'm here on SaSu because of feeling at rock bottom after more and more things keep happening to me, I've always felt suicidal and in fact SaSu was very difficult to find online, I got referred here! Otherwise I would be suicidal but not here, too. Thinking about it, my saying that I'm NOT suicidal should actually be more alarming to people right now! Because I actually wanted to suicide and just not be interfered with. I don't think they'll think that far through it though. I need to cover my bases there though, just in case someone thinks it through.

 

[WrongPlaceWrongTime]

I think a good idea is to tell them about your thoughts without mentioning any sort of plans to ctb or any actions that might be seen as you posing a threat to yourself.

 

[little helpers]

How about I" have suicidal thoughts but Im not planning to do it".

I got out of the psych ward once by telling shrink for days that I have these thoughts "pop up from time to time" but I find them "intrusive" and "isn't gonna" act on them anymore. telling him that the meds "really helped" and my head is "clear" now. and it will be, since I been "compliant" with (over)medication.

now all of that was cheating lol. didn't swallow those pills *once* when I was there. put "I feel good and hopeful" or equivalent on every one of those questions with the daily screening shit. real good fun.

I think a good idea is to tell them about your thoughts without mentioning any sort of plans to ctb or any actions that might be seen as you posing a threat to yourself.

or them labelling you as "gravely disabled".

I saw on YT someone whose college professor said a person is "apparently cisgendered". *apparently*. cisgender*ed*. oh my fucking gawd. and he teaches gender studies. **insert sarcastic laugh here**

so person said they gonna make a shirt with these words on it and wear to class each day. just for kicks.

now my story. shrink didn't even fucking think before he ticked the "gravely disabled" shit on my forms. had to battle for days. so, I'm starting a merchandise for y'all lovely people on SS. get a shirt with "gravely disabled" printed in bold across your chest. I know you want that. I can run a business already. just remember to wear it on your attempt when you wanna die some day cuz I'll do on mine. /s

 

[Sherri]

I might be lucky, but all medical staff seemed very easy going or Probably got used to, to the idea of patients talk about CTB. Some other countries might get you to a more evaluation and probably have you committed for a few days. I always told all my shrinks my number of attempts, if I was feeling like ctb. But always walked out freely from the appointment or hospitalisation. But that's where i live.

 

[Angi]

All literature I have read draws the line between active and passive suicidal ideation, so whether or not any of it happened outside your head, any preparation, attempts, ordering material, etc. In my experience, you should be fine expressing passive si, especially if they think you have a reason to hang on. If you fear you have just said to much, you can mention your fear of your own si. (Lying probably will not help your diagnosis, I am assuming you do feel fear since you are actively seeking to get help.) That seems to help professionals find confidence that you will not slit your throat the second you are out of their door.

It has been a while since you started this thread, OP. How did your appointment go?

 

[netrezven]

I don't tell, but anyway. I would explain it like a ddisiase, making your body hurts so much, even in your own bones, making you brain wanna end that pain so much, that suicide look quite an option. I would explain it in more physical manner, not what i'm thinking inside my head.

 

[Suicidebydeath]

All literature I have read draws the line between active and passive suicidal ideation, so whether or not any of it happened outside your head, any preparation, attempts, ordering material, etc. In my experience, you should be fine expressing passive si, especially if they think you have a reason to hang on. If you fear you have just said to much, you can mention your fear of your own si. (Lying probably will not help your diagnosis, I am assuming you do feel fear since you are actively seeking to get help.) That seems to help professionals find confidence that you will not slit your throat the second you are out of their door.

It has been a while since you started this thread, OP. How did your appointment go?

A bit crappy but better than nothing which would have killed all my motivation. They prescribed me mirtazapine. Also they agree with PTSD diagnosis. I haven't received any yet so I don't know how they'll make me feel but hopefully better? more energy and motivation?

I get a decent amount of motivation from my partner which does more than anything else right now. They make me happy. If they don't ctb then everything is perfect for me right now, I can get better on my own. As long as I have my partner I don't really care about anything else. They give me motivation to try to make more money. I think I'll do some exercise and drink some water today for them and remind them the same.

 

[Sherri]

The biggest suicide attempt Ive had was when I slit my wrists and my forearm very deep. Not even that made it me CTB. Ended up with around 30 stitches. Have to wear long sleeves all year around specially at work, not even doing this they commit me to the psychological ward at the hospital. 2 pain killer strips and went home with my sis, on my own 2 feet. It's a really nasty scar. So I mainly cut only muscle tissue and there wasn't even that much blood. That's why I woke up my sis and asked her to go to the hospital.

 

[Angi]

A bit crappy but better than nothing which would have killed all my motivation. They prescribed me mirtazapine. Also they agree with PTSD diagnosis. I haven't received any yet so I don't know how they'll make me feel but hopefully better? more energy and motivation?

I get a decent amount of motivation from my partner which does more than anything else right now. They make me happy. If they don't ctb then everything is perfect for me right now, I can get better on my own. As long as I have my partner I don't really care about anything else. They give me motivation to try to make more money. I think I'll do some exercise and drink some water today for them and remind them the same.

How wonderful to hear you are in love! And that you have all this motivation to care for them and for yourself now! I can almost feel it shining through my screen :)
PTSD is shit. I hope you find your way with it! Curious to hear how the medication works for you. Personally I am very reluctant to try meds, but it seems to work so well for some people I might reconsider.

The biggest suicide attempt Ive had was when I slit my wrists and my forearm very deep. Not even that made it me CTB. Ended up with around 30 stitches. Have to wear long sleeves all year around specially at work, not even doing this they commit me to the psychological ward at the hospital. 2 pain killer strips and went home with my sis, on my own 2 feet. It's a really nasty scar. So I mainly cut only muscle tissue and there wasn't even that much blood. That's why I woke up my sis and asked her to go to the hospital.

30 stitches? o.O I am glad you did not get arrested to psych ward, but it does seem odd to me, why wouldn't they be worried about you?

 

[Sherri]

How wonderful to hear you are in love! And that you have all this motivation to care for them and for yourself now! I can almost feel it shining through my screen :)
PTSD is shit. I hope you find your way with it! Curious to hear how the medication works for you. Personally I am very reluctant to try meds, but it seems to work so well for some people I might reconsider.


30 stitches? o.O I am glad you did not get arrested to psych ward, but it does seem odd to me, why wouldn't they be worried about you?

Hi Angi, I live in a country if I say I feel ok now. I just walk away without any problem. It was around 4 am and the nurse was like just let me stich this loopy one and move on to the next. Then on checkout a script for opioid pain killers. And do you feel ok now? No but said yes. And that was it. Oh and edit, at night there is no shrinks at the ER. They only arrive at 9am. If I tell you what I did after 14 days you would then call me crazy. Those days are gone now, just the marks to show me I was dumb and don't even know how to reach a vein. I'm planning to do a tattoo on top of it, but the tattoo shop says I should wait 2 More years. This was prob 3 years ago.

 

[Angi]

Hi Angi, I live in a country if I say I feel ok now. I just walk away without any problem. It was around 4 am and the nurse was like just let me stich this loopy one and move on to the next. Then on checkout a script for opioid pain killers. And do you feel ok now? No but said yes. And that was it. Oh and edit, at night there is no shrinks at the ER. They only arrive at 9am. If I tell you what I did after 14 days you would then call me crazy. Those days are gone now, just the marks to show me I was dumb and don't even know how to reach a vein. I'm planning to do a tattoo on top of it, but the tattoo shop says I should wait 2 More years. This was prob 3 years ago.

Thank you for sharing this! I know it is a sad story, but at the same time, just respecting if people say they do not need further help is so cool, it made me laugh! Plus your wording, "just let me stitch the loopy one" :D and you now have me imagining a hospital full of shrinks in the middle of the night, haha! Sounds like a next generation Monty Python movie to me.

Maybe you can use scar treating oil on your arm to be able to get your tattoo sooner? Like the stuff they use for pregnant bellies?

 

[Sherri]

Thank you for sharing this! I know it is a sad story, but at the same time, just respecting if people say they do not need further help is so cool, it made me laugh! Plus your wording, "just let me stitch the loopy one" :D and you now have me imagining a hospital full of shrinks in the middle of the night, haha! Sounds like a next generation Monty Python movie to me.

Maybe you can use scar treating oil on your arm to be able to get your tattoo sooner? Like the stuff they use for prengant bellies?

Welcome to my crazy stories, I have many more, if only we could change somethings in life…Thanks for the tip about the tattoo.

 

[everydayiloveyou]

My go-to has always been:

"when I feel suicidal, I feel [insert feelings here], as if things would be better if I ["ended it all"/"went to sleep forever"/"gave up on everything"]. I realize it's irrational, but it still happens"

I never go into more detail than what is necessary. dont talk about specific methods (theres almost no therapeutic purpose for this kind of talk anyways), don't mention trying to put yourself or others into situations where you could reasonably die.

dont try to be sneaky or vague. When asked if you have immediate or close plans to hurt yourself, if youve arranged final affairs, or if you have prepared the materials you need to commit suicide, you either say "no" or you risk getting sectioned (tho ofc in an emergency, you should seek help)

Once you have a relationship with your mental health professional and know their boundaries, you can go into more detail. Dont go into all the details or make things up from the get-go, because it can make things worse relationship-wise if you eventually say something like "nah i lied, I actually bought N that day" or whatever. Be honest but careful about what you reveal. You can even say straight up, "I'd prefer not to talk about it right now, but rest assurred I won't do anything anytime soon"

^^ that was my go-to response about suicide til I had been on meds for a while and felt confident that I wasnt gonna do anything