I'd really like to smoke

[falloutcarter13]

I've pretty much lost all desire to self-medicate since I decided to ctb a couple of weeks ago for sure. Tonight, I've got the strongest urge to go on a marathon session of blowing trees. I have an asshole dealer I could get a 1/4 from on credit (lol), but I know if I get fried, I'll just sit around and think about stupid ways to avoid murdering myself. I'd probably end up getting caught trying to steal a sailboat and escape my problems to an uninhabited island, and be in even deeper shit. I'm not going to do it, getting high would in no way help my situation. Just wish the urge would pass. Weed makes me altruistic as hell, which has the unfortunate side effect of extending to liking/loving myself. No thanks.

 

[waterbottleman]

I've been smoking weed virtually every day for the past 4-5 months and I'm high almost all day. I've built up such a high tolerance that when I'm high it feels normal lol.

There's nothing else to do with the quarantine so I just get stoned all the time.

Also I want to kill myself so it's not like I care about being addicted or whatever.

I'm vaping as I type this, wish I had some alcohol but I'm too lazy to walk to the store.

 

[Uzera]

I'm out of weed.

 

[waterbottleman]

I'm out of weed.

I buy those 28 gram bags, they last me months.

I also like to buy enhanced prerolls, the THC on those are through the roof get me stoned as fuck.

I'm actually probably going to buy more prerolls tomorrow and go buy some more alcohol then get drunk/high.

 

[AllReturnsToNothing]

Fuck I'd do just about anything for some weed but I don't have anyone to buy from and everyone I try to ask if they know anyone they always play weirdly coy. Not like I need to be blowing money on more shit right now considering I've been unemployed for several weeks now. But some weed just to keep me sane would be nice. Maybe I'd be able to finally look for work if I finally had something to motivate me to get more money.

 

[Uzera]

Fuck I'd do just about anything for some weed but I don't have anyone to buy from and everyone I try to ask if they know anyone they always play weirdly coy. Not like I need to be blowing money on more shit right now considering I've been unemployed for several weeks now. But some weed just to keep me sane would be nice. Maybe I'd be able to finally look for work if I finally had something to motivate me to get more money.

You gotta hang out on the streets. That's how I met all my pot hookups. Of course your area could be different. Just be careful if you do that. I used to go to town square here and that's where all the dealers hung out. Of course they pushed all the poor people out of downtown so that's long gone.

 

[yannyorlaurel]

The uninhabited island thing made me chuckle, I always have that fantasy as well... though in reality I'd want a bunch of people trapped there with me. Weed makes me out of control, but gets rid of suicidal thoughts. Spent the first two years of university in a haze before realizing I had BPD then collapsing back at home. I always get the urge to smoke again but stop myself because it'd just make me do exactly what you said... conjure up some crazy ideas to try and stay alive.

 

[esse_est_percipi]

The uninhabited island thing made me chuckle, I always have that fantasy as well... though in reality I'd want a bunch of people trapped there with me. Weed makes me out of control, but gets rid of suicidal thoughts. Spent the first two years of university in a haze before realizing I had BPD then collapsing back at home. I always get the urge to smoke again but stop myself because it'd just make me do exactly what you said... conjure up some crazy ideas to try and stay alive.

The guy who made this thread has ctb'd.

 

[yannyorlaurel]

The guy who made this thread has ctb'd.

Oh my, I thought they almost always self-banned when that happened. Hope is is finally at peace now.

 

[esse_est_percipi]

I thought they almost always self-banned when that happened

yes, that usually happens