Id like to hear y'alls opinions on this thread and the therapist in question

[DepressionsAHo]

In the title it says he's 17. I imagine the parents are going to lose their shit when he turns 18 and can't control him so much anymore.

Oh shoot did it? It's not loading for me so I saved it on reddit. lemme go read it again, my bad then. I wonder what cocktail of medicines this young man has been on in that 2 yr period?

My last therapist told me that there was nothing more she could do for me, and sent me on my way. No meds, no referrals, nothing. I said fuck them, and haven't been back to one since.

I know it means nothing but I'm truly sorry that happened to you

 

[MeltingHeart]

I can understand that last part but I think he was probably paraphrasing in that context. There was only one thing that was in quotes

ahh ok i see

The story is probably fake because Reddit is mostly just children and people who are mentally still children trying to get attention, make drama, and troll...and companies and govts trying to manipulate. The kids you can sort of forgive because they are just ignorant and trying to fit in, thought no less annoying, but for adults the quality of people on that site is very low and it's either liars,bullies, and bigots, or marketers and shills. All taking advantage of the anonymity to show how terrible they are.

wouldnt surprise me at all. loads of liars everywhere online anyway-'tis the nature of the beast

 

[Miserable]

We also dont know how old his son is now. At this point, I'm surprised they haven't put him in a mental hospital, assuming this whole story is true. I am surprised at your answer. I figured it would garner a mix of responses but it seems most on here are against the therapist which surprises me the most

yeah that kind of surprises me too given where we are. I just have a problem with youth suicide, I don't think young people have enough life experience to understand the passing of emotions and how much and how quickly their life would change.

As for so many people being against the therapist, I think part of it is that as much as we think about suicide, there is something a little painful about someone else telling you, you're life is useless (I actually did this to you while having a tantrum and you rightfully didn't like it either). Plus I think this place serves as a place for a pity party, most here aren't going to die. Even myself, I feel like I would have by now, there's really no reason to wait

My last therapist told me that there was nothing more she could do for me, and sent me on my way. No meds, no referrals, nothing. I said fuck them, and haven't been back to one since.

she should have at least referred you to someone

 

[MeltingHeart]

yeah that kind of surprises me too given where we are. I just have a problem with youth suicide, I don't think young people have enough life experience to understand the passing of emotions and how much and how quickly their life would change.

As for so many people being against the therapist, I think part of it is that as much as we think about suicide, there is something a little painful about someone else telling you, you're life is useless (I actually did this to you while having a tantrum and you rightfully didn't like it either). Plus I think this place serves as a place for a pity party, most here aren't going to die. Even myself, I feel like I would have by now, there's really no reason to wait

she should have at least referred you to someone

I think that the reason people are saying what the therapist did was wrong is not so much that they are 'against' the sentiment per se-as there maybe even ceratinly a grain if truth in it-some people after all cant get better and i dont think its about having someone else tell you you should die, but the question was posed as to whether what they did was right- and in this context, given that they are a profession-the general consensus is that they were wrong-this does indicate that people are being perhaps more 'pro-life' than you would expect from a pro choice forum but rather it is an honest assessment that given that persons position-then from a code of conduct point of view-of course they were out of line. Even if you are 100% pro -choice-hardly anyone is gonna say that it would be either good or right for a registered & respected therapist to tell a depressed teen that he would be better off dying, thats not what being pro-choice is about.

 

[DepressionsAHo]

yeah that kind of surprises me too given where we are. I just have a problem with youth suicide, I don't think young people have enough life experience to understand the passing of emotions and how much and how quickly their life would change.

As for so many people being against the therapist, I think part of it is that as much as we think about suicide, there is something a little painful about someone else telling you, you're life is useless (I actually did this to you while having a tantrum and you rightfully didn't like it either). Plus I think this place serves as a place for a pity party, most here aren't going to die. Even myself, I feel like I would have by now, there's really no reason to wait

she should have at least referred you to someone

Oy, all is forgiven now. I admit, I was being petty as well

 

[Miserable]

I think that the reason people are saying what the therapist did was wrong is not so much that they are 'against' the sentiment per se-as there maybe even ceratinly a grain if truth in it-some people after all cant get better and i dont think its about having someone else tell you you should die, but the question was posed as to whether what they did was right- and in this context, given that they are a profession-the general consensus is that they were wrong-this does indicate that people are being perhaps more 'pro-life' than you would expect from a pro choice forum but rather it is an honest assessment that given that persons position-then from a code of conduct point of view-of course they were out of line. Even if you are 100% pro -choice-hardly anyone is gonna say that it would be either good or right for a registered & respected therapist to tell a depressed teen that he would be better off dying, thats not what being pro-choice is about.

okay but take the age out of it, would it be okay then. I go to my therapist, I say I wanna die, go through all the shit in my life, 6 months later she says, "I just dont think you can get better, death might be the best option for you." would that be okay?

Oy, all is forgiven now. I admit, I was being petty as well

same here

 

[DepressionsAHo]

I think that the reason people are saying what the therapist did was wrong is not so much that they are 'against' the sentiment per se-as there maybe even ceratinly a grain if truth in it-some people after all cant get better and i dont think its about having someone else tell you you should die, but the question was posed as to whether what they did was right- and in this context, given that they are a profession-the general consensus is that they were wrong-this does indicate that people are being perhaps more 'pro-life' than you would expect from a pro choice forum but rather it is an honest assessment that given that persons position-then from a code of conduct point of view-of course they were out of line. Even if you are 100% pro -choice-hardly anyone is gonna say that it would be either good or right for a registered & respected therapist to tell a depressed teen that he would be better off dying, thats not what being pro-choice is about.

Oy ok. I definitely see your point now. The issue isn't being pro choice, it's more so a licensed professional making and stating such a blunt statement and that's the issue most of us are having

 

[MeltingHeart]

okay but take the age out of it, would it be okay then. I go to my therapist, I say I wanna die, go through all the shit in my life, 6 months later she says, "I just dont think you can get better, death might be the best option for you." would that be okay?

same here

No not from a therapist- if you are going to see one-it means you actually do want help-and dont 100% wanna die-you feel like you want to but also you DO want to live or else why would you bother-and as treating people & trying to help them get better is yr job i think telling them that is clearly a breach of an ethical code of conduct- if you felt like you personally couldnt help- i would say the usual thing to do would be to refer them to another team, different type of therapy or have them hospitalised for a time.

 

[Miserable]

No not from a therapist- if you are going to see one-it means you actually do want help-and dont 100% wanna die-you feel like you want to but also you DO want to live or else why would you bother-and as treating people & trying to help them get better is yr job i think telling them that is clearly a breach of an ethical code of conduct- if you felt like you personally couldnt help- i would say the usual thing to do would be to refer them to another team, different type of therapy or have them hospitalised for a time.

hmm i guess in the world i'd imagine people would see a therapist for a bit of time before they were allowed to be euthanized. So i see it as part of the process

 

[MeltingHeart]

Oy ok. I definitely see your point now. The issue isn't being pro choice, it's more so a licensed professional making and stating such a blunt statement and that's the issue most of us are having

yeah totally. I am sure if that ever happened & could be proved they would be struck off and not allowed to practise again, like even if they did really think that inside, they are simply not allowed to say that to a patient. I have been told by a psychiatrist and a therapist that they dont think they can help me&therapy wont work-but they didnt tell me 'you would be better off dead'-even though they might actually think that & also that I am beyond help.

hmm i guess in the world i'd imagine people would see a therapist for a bit of time before they were allowed to be euthanized. So i see it as part of the process

yeah, that would be great! (in some circumstances) but sadly that is not the reality of the world we live in. :(

 

[BridgeJumper]

Maybe my thinking is skewed, but...
There are a lot of people who benefit from meds and therapy work, and go on to lead normal lives. But not me. Ive recently finished a 35th section, had even more suicide attempts, I cant eat or drink normally, do all the drugs that exist and want to die daily, I fantasize about murdering people 24/7 and lie awake all night talking to my voices, its been 12 years since I first got diagnosis, and it never got better like some predict, it only got worse...One of the psychiatrists Ive seen was honest with me and told me its unlikely that I ever get better, and if I do it will take 10 or even 15 years of intensive therapy work - that I cant get because Im filed up as basically untreatable and turned away. My only choice now is to jump, Im tired of mental anguish and of being a burden.
I too was locked up in my room with shoelaces removed, windows shielded and knobs unscrewed of doors because I would try to jump every single time I managed to get out of the house, and was in and out of psych wards, 3 months locked up, a few days home, for years.
It wasnt exactly the right thing to just tell them her opinion upfront - especially since hes only been sick for 2 years and maybe, just maybe, he will improve, and because most normal people cant imagine letting someone like us take matters into their own hands. They want to make our lives miserable to make their conscience clean, or they love us too much to loose us.
But sometimes, its better to just let go
I wish I could be let go of...

 

[BlueWidow]

I think this post is from some pro-lifer trying to get people stirred up. If it's true, I feel bad for the son.

to clarify, I meant the person who put it on Reddit seems like a pro -lifer trying to start trouble. Not the person who put it on here.

 

[DepressionsAHo]

Maybe my thinking is skewed, but...
There are a lot of people who benefit from meds and therapy work, and go on to lead normal lives. But not me. Ive recently finished a 35th section, had even more suicide attempts, I cant eat or drink normally, do all the drugs that exist and want to die daily, I fantasize about murdering people 24/7 and lie awake all night talking to my voices, its been 12 years since I first got diagnosis, and it never got better like some predict, it only got worse...One of the psychiatrists Ive seen was honest with me and told me its unlikely that I ever get better, and if I do it will take 10 or even 15 years of intensive therapy work - that I cant get because Im filed up as basically untreatable and turned away. My only choice now is to jump, Im tired of mental anguish and of being a burden.
I too was locked up in my room with shoelaces removed, windows shielded and knobs unscrewed of doors because I would try to jump every single time I managed to get out of the house, and was in and out of psych wards, 3 months locked up, a few days home, for years.
It wasnt exactly the right thing to just tell them her opinion upfront - especially since hes only been sick for 2 years and maybe, just maybe, he will improve, and because most normal people cant imagine letting someone like us take matters into their own hands. They want to make our lives miserable to make their conscience clean, or they love us too much to loose us.
But sometimes, its better to just let go
I wish I could be let go of...

I hate to admit this but I asked my mom what it would take to disown me and she said drugs. With that in mind, I began to think about it. Ultimately I decided against it because I had the slimmest of hope that I could get better. I don't anymore. She loves me. Way more than I deserve and I dont have the time to delve into drug use now otherwise I would. Maybe her hating me would make my passing easier. I used to promise myself I could go after she went and I'm ashamed to admit it but I've wished she would die for that flash of a second and felt even worse about myself afterwards. Like you, I wish she could just let me go. The rest of my family have never been to close so I didn't write any notes for them. I wrote one to my mom and my best friend. That's it

I think this post is from some pro-lifer trying to get us all stirred up. If it's true, I feel bad for the son.

The reddit poster or me?

 

[BlueWidow]

I hate to admit this but I asked my mom what it would take to disown me and she said drugs. With that in mind, I began to think about it. Ultimately I decided against it because I had the slimmest of hope that I could get better. I don't anymore. She loves me. Way more than I deserve and I dont have the time to delve into drug use now otherwise I would. Maybe her hating me would make my passing easier. I used to promise myself I could go after she went and I'm ashamed to admit it but I've wished she would die for that flash of a second and felt even worse about myself afterwards. Like you, I wish she could just let me go. The rest of my family have never been to close so I didn't write any notes for them. I wrote one to my mom and my best friend. That's it

The reddit poster or me?

I edited my post. I realized I hadn't made myself clear. The Reddit poster, not you.

 

[DepressionsAHo]

I'd be interested to know how old the son is now as it only says he was 15 when he was diagnosed. The parents are in the wrong here as he needs some control over his life, they need to give him his door back and allow him some trust again.

That therapist needs to be sacked. I'm pretty sure it's illegal / against their ethics to advise and/or agree that their clients should take their own lives. Not only that, why on earth would she be happy with that being her work? God forbid how many other clients she has said it to who haven't gone home and said something and the poor families who have lost someone because she's made them feel like they need to end their lives.

I had to go back as the post isn't loading on here for me (I actually asked a moderator to delete it cause I figured nobody could see it but she could and apparently so can the rest of you) but I saved it on reddit. It says hes 17 now

I edited my post. I realized I hadn't made myself clear. The Reddit poster, not you.

Ok lol. I was about to say giiiiiiirrrrlllll lmao

 

[BridgeJumper]

I hate to admit this but I asked my mom what it would take to disown me and she said drugs. With that in mind, I began to think about it. Ultimately I decided against it because I had the slimmest of hope that I could get better. I don't anymore. She loves me. Way more than I deserve and I dont have the time to delve into drug use now otherwise I would. Maybe her hating me would make my passing easier. I used to promise myself I could go after she went and I'm ashamed to admit it but I've wished she would die for that flash of a second and felt even worse about myself afterwards. Like you, I wish she could just let me go. The rest of my family have never been to close so I didn't write any notes for them. I wrote one to my mom and my best friend. That's it

The reddit poster or me?

My mother hates me and probably secretly wishes I was dead, she came to my room at icu just to insult me and used to beat me with electrical cords, starve me for days and lock me in an empty room when I was a kid.
My dad loves me but doesnt understand at all, even though he himself is depressed - might I add, hes depressed because of me and my attempts. So now I just want to talk to him so badly when I feel like shit but shut it in instead because I feel guilty and dont want him to get even more depressed.
They both gave me the drugs talk when I was 8 and announced to me that they will kick me out if I ever become an addict. Now I do dxm and codeine and benzos, and have stashes upon stashes of cheap vodka and baggies with pills everywhere and they dont care anymore because I failed them as a child in every single area I could.
So cant relate.
But glad you have the support you need, even if its just one person. Dont feel bad for your thoughts, mine are insanely brutal sometimes but I take comfort in knowing that no matter what I think, I have never acted out on it and never will.

Didnt read the whole topic - yeah, telling someone theyd be 'Better off dead' (as opposed to suggesting that she cant help him) literally is quite a breach of conduct and should result in consequences to the therapist, but honestly Ive heard way worse from these people and the individuals in questions still have their practice...

 

[DepressionsAHo]

My mother hates me and probably secretly wishes I was dead, she came to my room at icu just to insult me and used to beat me with electrical cords, starve me for days and lock me in an empty room when I was a kid.
My dad loves me but doesnt understand at all, even though he himself is depressed - might I add, hes depressed because of me and my attempts. So now I just want to talk to him so badly when I feel like shit but shut it in instead because I feel guilty and dont want him to get even more depressed.
They both gave me the drugs talk when I was 8 and announced to me that they will kick me out if I ever become an addict. Now I do dxm and codeine and benzos, and have stashes upon stashes of cheap vodka and baggies with pills everywhere and they dont care anymore because I failed them as a child in every single area I could.
So cant relate.
But glad you have the support you need, even if its just one person. Dont feel bad for your thoughts, mine are insanely brutal sometimes but I take comfort in knowing that no matter what I think, I have never acted out on it and never will.

Didnt read the whole topic - yeah, telling someone theyd be 'Better off dead' (as opposed to suggesting that she cant help him) literally is quite a breach of conduct and should result in consequences to the therapist, but honestly Ive heard way worse from these people and the individuals in questions still have their practice...

Haha we're the total opposite. My dad was like your mom. He used to beat the shit out of me everytime he got the chance. Punching me, kicking me, throwing me across the room and starving me because he despises me. Always had. I asked my mom why the entire black side of my family hated me and she said it was because I acted "too white". My aunt (on the black side, all on the black side actually) and a couple others tried to kill me when I was younger. My aunt put a back scratcher to my throat when I was sitting on the couch and tried to block my wind pipe forcing me deeper and deeper into the couch. It's amazing how much strength you have when someone is trying to kill you. I managed to fight her off. I was probably 9. Looking back, I wish she had succeeded. Shes not even in prison. She faced no consequences because CPS and all the other people didn't believe me. Only my mom did. It's why to this day I have an innate fear of people touching my throat. Oh. And he and many others used to lock me in rooms for hours or days at a time as well

 

[BlueWidow]

I just don't understand because the Reddit poster puts this out there asking for responses. Then the poster gets angry when people don't respond the way he or she wants them to. I feel like the poster wanted some reassurance that they were treating their son correctly by doing what they were doing.

Personally, I think what they're doing to him is torture. If he can be treated, great, get him some good treatment. Otherwise, if they're just trying to keep him here to make themselves feel better, that's not necessarily what's best for him. I know it must be devastating to lose your child or have to let them go. But the alternative is a lifetime of confinement to a psych ward and/or watching him suffer. If true, this is a horrible situation for all involved.

I feel bad for the parents, but I feel worse for the son. Maybe it's because I can identify with him more in this situation.

 

[DepressionsAHo]

I just don't understand because the Reddit poster puts this out there asking for responses. Then the poster gets angry when people don't respond the way he or she wants them to. I feel like the poster wanted some reassurance that they were treating their son correctly by doing what they were doing.

Personally, I think what they're doing to him is torture. If he can be treated, great, get him some good treatment. Otherwise, if they're just trying to keep him here to make themselves feel better, that's not necessarily what's best for him. I know it must be devastating to lose your child or have to let them go. But the alternative is a lifetime of confinement to a psych ward and/or watching him suffer. If true, this is a horrible situation for all involved.

I feel bad for the parents, but I feel worse for the son. Maybe it's because I can identify with him more in this situation.

I didn't read to much into the comment section

 

[purplemoon]

I only have a BA degree in psychology, but I can tell you it's a very subjective science that changes every year in many ways with New disorders, or changing diagnostic criteria for this or that disorder, etc.

I will say this, whoever this lady is, no matter what her reviews are, she sounds absolutely heartless.

I wouldn't trust a word she says, in fact it's good you want to cancel any future appointments and look for a completely different therapist.

narcissists are notorious for having good reputations with many they have fooled, but when they're around someone who is vulnerable, they often turn abusive and enjoy feeling sick 'power' by being a bully. I don't know that she's a narcissist, but she certainly doesn't sound like someone that would care about her patients.

Even if she was attempting so called 'tough' therapy technique, she's actually breaking ethics and possibly even a law depending on the area. Regardless, the last thing you need on top of serious problems is to pay someone to be cruel.

If it were me, I would leave a voicemail or email indicating that she's not the right fit and you were seeking counseling elsewhere, and to cancel all appointments. I would avoid interacting with her over the phone or in person.

It sounds like all she's going to do is just add more damage and confusion to someone who is already suffering.

She Shouldn't be allowed to be a counselor, you might even consider reporting her to the licensing board. Don't let her intimidate you, she's just a person and frankly she sounds like a heartless b*tch. Reviews don't matter, what matters is what you believe is right for your loved one and is she even helping your loved one?

My vote is you're better off without someone like her, and defeats the whole point of counseling for her to be so disrespectful. In my opinion, it comes down to this: is your loved one being treated with dignity? If not, I wouldn't trust any treatment connected to such a cruel person. I would take away her involvement immediately.

Your loved one deserves better than that.
No matter what his condition is, everyone should be treated decently.

 

[Ame]

it seems like she didnt literally tell him he should die , thats just how OP's son interpreted it, but if she did, I do think thats kinda messed up but on the other hand the family forbidding him of any kind of privacy and watching him every hour is even worse IMO

Obviously there is no way for us to find out what was said verbatim, but I feel like there really was something lost in translation in this case. The son is obviously not in the best head space and is likely prone to a whole bunch of cognitive distortions. When the father heard this from his son, he was primed and seemed to have went in with his emotions all ablaze. However, if this therapist did in fact actively encourage this boy to CTB, then one has to wonder if she should be practicing at all.

There is a difference between being pro-choice and pro-suicide.

I don't agree with how the parents have approached this situation but I do understand where they are coming from. Their child has recently made multiple attempts and doesn't seem to be responding to conventional front line therapies. They are at a loss and quite frankly, are not at all equipped to help him without additional support.

"Don't act like you don't want it."​

I cannot help but wonder what lies behind his son's words. Is he angry? Does he resent how his parents have boxed him into this corner and left him without anything to control in his life? Does he feel that he is a burden to his parents and that dying would being them peace? For some reason that I cannot quite figure out at the moment, this line really stood out for me.

 

[purplemoon]

It's funny how much I personally don't benefit from any counseling, but I sure will stand up for the rights of the vulnerable and the innocent, and hey, if counseling might or does help someone else, then go for whatever helps you cope. Any decent counselor treats all people with dignity, period. Or at least they should.

 

[TotallyIsolated]

Maybe I'm projecting, but the father came across as narcissistic in his Reddit posts. I would have thought it quite likely that he is the cause of his son's suicidal intent, assuming it isn't just made up or embellished for karma.

 

[BlueWidow]

Maybe I'm projecting, but the father came across as narcissistic in his Reddit posts. I would have thought it quite likely that he is the cause of his son's suicidal intent, assuming it isn't just made up or embellished for karma.

excellent observation!

 

[Moonicide]

If this is all indeed true, it's beyond messed up... If the therapist said exactly that, they would have been fired or should be fired. At the same time, the son's quality of living is so poor. Is he even living at this point? Being controlled, watched, locked isn't living. You can't prevent someone from dying in the end. He will find a way eventually. I know as a parent it's absolutely heartbreaking and nobody wants to lose their child, but it seems in this scenario the outcome might not be a desired one. As someone that has battled and dealt with mental illness for 15 years, my heart goes out to that son.

My first and last therapist was absolutely invalidating and some of the things she said should have lead to her being fired. We were sitting there having a session and she went on about how I talked. "Do you hear yourself? You talk very childlike. I think that's something you need to work on." Basically said it was due to my childhood trauma... Is that something you should be telling your client? Absolutely not. And maybe... Just maybe, have you ever thought that's my real voice and it can not be controlled? It's not my fault that my voice is soft and high pitched. I didn't ask for it. I left that session so pissed. Like legit fuck you.

 

[Shakespear's Brother]

This sounds fake, which isn't all that surprising. That subreddit is so high profile that successfully trolling it is seen as a mark of accomplishment.

Biggest red flag is describing the diagnosis as "manic depression". That term is so antiquated, it wouldn't be used in such a recent diagnosis.

 

[Sensei]

I don't know of she is right, there are people on reddit claiming they have bipolar and live a "normal" life.

Yes, it's possible to live a more or less normal life if you're bipolar. It all comes down to finding effective medicines, which is difficult and takes time in most cases. Psychotherapy can be used to treat other problems, such as traumas and lacking self-esteem, but not bipolarity as such, as it's a chemical imbalance in the brain which words have litte to no effect on. When it comes to lithium, which is only one of almost twenty medicines used for treating bipolarity, there's a rule of thumb that one third who takes it can live more or less normal lives, one third get less severe symptoms, and one third get no effects at all.

 

[LegaliseIt!]

I agree with @Shakespear's Brother that the Reddit post seems pretty dodgy to begin with, especially the use of "manic depression"

From the available information, all I guessed was:
The parents are in conflict about therapy and treatment.
The"at home regimen" (alarms, 24/7 surveillance, no privacy, etc.) will compound this family's conflict and dysfunction.
The therapist appears to have acted illegally, but the parents did not report it to the professional licensing board.
The father underscores that he is religious. This may have a bearing on their choice of treatment: many faith-based practitioners are not licensed. Many clerics make recommendations to families about managing troubled teens. These recommendations aren't evidence based or peer reviewed. (Unless the Old Testament has been subject to clinical trials that I don't know about!)
So, basically everyone in this quite possibly fake letter is deeply troubled, and the young boy is actually behaving the most reasonably and crying for help! It's no wonder that he only speaks to his parents in monosyllabic grunts!
Just my thoughts on a sad post, from Reddit, the dumpster fire of the Internet.