I would be alive at 30 if i had more support and shown i can have a future

[FireFox]

I plan to kill myself when I turn 30. I really wanted to live and have a happy fulfilled life but I didn't know how nobody showed how to really live.

After my 21st birthday I told people in my life I was depressed and anxious about my lack of achievements in life and how my life turned out to be nobody cared to listen and just dismissed me . People let down when I needed them. I just now pretend to be happy and everyone actually believes it

If I had more help as a teenager in boosting my self esstem on how to cope with being single while watching everyone around you get relationships things would have been a lot different.Nobody understands what feels like to be that confident, eccentric teenage girl now woman who was always rejected by the guys while her friends and classmates got boyfriends.

Nobody understands how it feels like to be the girl who was seen as the school weird girl and have guys you have a crush on see you as the werid girl and want nothing to do with you. At 16 at school break everyday I talked to this boy and both had fun with each others company. I thought he was really amazing as person, he was smart, really funny and handsome,. I liked him because I thought he was different.People at school could see I liked him and of course gossiped like they did with other people's relationships. He went to the parties and was the fun guy everyone liked. One day the guy started to pushed me away during breaktimes whenever i talked I to him I couldn't understand why. It turned out he was like everyone else in the school who thought werid girl and he didn't want anything to do with me because of it. He humiliated me on front of the entire school and he didn't care about my feelings.

Everything in my life is a mess and just can't cope anymore

 

[Zegers]

People are based on appearances and if you don't look good it is more difficult to get people's attention. I suffer a disability so basically it was the same for me in relations. Supercars are not designed for poor and maybe life is not designed for unlucky ones

 

[its-about-time]

Once while I was in the psych ward a friend came to visit. She said "nobody will make you better." She meant that it's my responsibility to feel however I want to feel about my life. Nobody's gonna rescue me. That was hard to hear but really changed my perspective.

You're not a victim. You're an adult woman stuck in the mindset of a teenage social misfit. You're not in primary school anymore. Nobody is going to "fix" you. That's your job and your job alone. And if you choose not to take that path, know that it's your decision and not one forced upon you by anybody else. It simultaneously sucks ass and is incredibly liberating to realize that you are your own problem - not the world. At least it was for me. I'm sending you all the best.

 

[RandomBeaver]

He humiliated me on front of the entire school and he didn't care about my feelings.

I'm sorry to hear that. That should have been really heartbreaking

He didn't act like a grown-up man should have reacted. We don't make fun out of girls. I'm sorry if many boys (and many men today) act without regard to your feelings. I'm not an expert on that (I've never had any girlfriend), but I know it's not a thing to do.

I really hope you may find someone that loves you for who you are and that they will show the utmost respect for you. You don't deserve less than that.

Also, have you considered seeing a therapist to sort out all those bad moments you had. It might be helpful to show you who you really are now and what you really want. Sometimes we're stuck in how we thought things were going to be not realizing that's not what we want anymore. I might be plainly wrong on that.

Thanks being part of all of us.

 

[Pluto]

Being 'weird' has been the hardest part of my life also. And trying to emulate normality is at best an excruciating task, and at worst leads to even more weirdness as my fraudulence is exposed.

The only constructive thing to say is that certain people (I am avoiding the 'A' word) simply need basic facts about interacting with others and functioning in the world explained. Without that support, we are inevitably reduced to ruin and humiliation. This has been my life story. But with support, it is possible to not only function normally, but to exploit your talents and even prosper.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry that you are in this situation. I feel like many people can be selfish and invalidating and they cannot understand as they are not in a similar situation. I also think that in general, people can be very disappointing. I understand that it can be so devastating when everything seems so hopeless. I wish you the best in whatever happens, I hope that you find relief from suffering.

 

[FireFox]

I'm sorry to hear that. That should have been really heartbreaking

He didn't act like a grown-up man should have reacted. We don't make fun out of girls. I'm sorry if many boys (and many men today) act without regard to your feelings. I'm not an expert on that (I've never had any girlfriend), but I know it's not a thing to do.

I really hope you may find someone that loves you for who you are and that they will show the utmost respect for you. You don't deserve less than that.

Also, have you considered seeing a therapist to sort out all those bad moments you had. It might be helpful to show you who you really are now and what you really want. Sometimes we're stuck in how we thought things were going to be not realizing that's not what we want anymore. I might be plainly wrong on that.

Thanks being part of all of us.

@RandomBeaver

I really liked him because I thought he was different but the realisation he was like everyone else in the school who thought I was the werid girl was what hurt the most, that was more painful than the humiliation he put me through in front of the school.

I feel like an outsider amoung women my age because the majority of women had their first relationships as teenagers or in university whereas that never happened for me. Most people can not relate to my experiences. I genuinely feel so alone

I plan to kill myself at 30 because I don't want to go through another decade being single. Being single gets harder with age and can't cope anymore. It's difficult seeing women my age especially those I grew up with getting married.

I never thought I would be single in my 20s.

People are based on appearances and if you don't look good it is more difficult to get people's attention. I suffer a disability so basically it was the same for me in relations. Supercars are not designed for poor and maybe life is not designed for unlucky ones

@Zegers

I am so sorry you suffer from a disability. Life is so hard for those who don't conform to the standards of this ablest and shallow society.

I am not ugly but I am not pretty either my looks are just average and plain. I naturally confident in talking to people and thrive on discussing things happening in the world as well as philosophy or history but still my personality is never enough.

Being 'weird' has been the hardest part of my life also. And trying to emulate normality is at best an excruciating task, and at worst leads to even more weirdness as my fraudulence is exposed.

The only constructive thing to say is that certain people (I am avoiding the 'A' word) simply need basic facts about interacting with others and functioning in the world explained. Without that support, we are inevitably reduced to ruin and humiliation. This has been my life story. But with support, it is possible to not only function normally, but to exploit your talents and even prosper.

@Pluto

When I look at all the bullsh*t, selfishness, narcissism and vanity in the world all I think is let it f*cking die. The human race is not worth saving anymore. I would be glad of the world ended and not terrified because it means a generation will never experience suffering and all the bullsh*t of the world.

I watched the movie Interstellar and I thought the humans were selfish as f*ck moving to saturn in the end to save humanity as Earth was inhabitable. Its so selfish because the humans will continue with their culture and practices they did on planet earth. Humans don't learn from crisis and history and the same will happen on a new planet.

I no longer feel guilty about having these feelings.