I wonder...

[Antigonish]

I dont really think anyone realizes I'm on the verge of suicide. Or maybe they all really hate or support me, and are silently encouraging me to do so. Who knows... Sometimes there isn't enough air in the world to be breath. I want to be happy, but sometimes I can't. All the while, I think they feel I'm crying for attention when I'm really inwardly screaming for help. I wonder what they'll say about me when I leave, because I won't leave a note.

 

[Ghost2211]

People around me could never see either, or maybe they don't care. I'm sorry you feel alone. We are all here for you, and we can hear you.

 

[Mr blobby]

Same. I will leave no suicide note. They already know the deal. They just don't give a toss.

 

[Spitfire]

I won't leave a note. I went to write a note once and it ended up being blank anyways.

 

[MindFog]

Maybe they think you wouldn't go that far.. It's always what people say when someone commits ctb.

"When didnt know he would do this." "We didn't suspect anything was wrong"

They know the signs but they don't know It's THAT bad, because they never put themselves in your place.

 

[DeathBySuicide]

I'm so sorry you feel this way. I completely understand how you feel. I hate that life has pushed you to the edge. I don't think the people around you know how much you're struggling. You should try talking to them about your feelings; they may understand you better and treat you more kindly if you do.

 

[Antigonish]

Maybe they think you wouldn't go that far.. It's always what people say when someone commits ctb.

"When didnt know he would do this." "We didn't suspect anything was wrong"

They know the signs but they don't know It's THAT bad, because they never put themselves in your place.

Yep, I hear it all the time. People saying things like; 'I couldn't imagine taking my own life.' Things like; 'I wanna live forever' or 'Who'd cut themselves that's disgusting'. They'll sit there and give me 1001 reasons why I'm selfish and basically stupid. When in actuality they are the stupid selfish fucks who cant live outside their own heads long enough to recognize other people exist, with their own sets of feelings and goals. Who cant comprehend the fact that everyone is a different individual, who wants different things in life. Who suffer differently. Who are plain and simple not just copies of others.

I'm so sorry you feel this way. I completely understand how you feel. I hate that life has pushed you to the edge. I don't think the people around you know how much you're struggling. You should try talking to them about your feelings; they may understand you better and treat you more kindly if you do.

The people in my life are extreme objectors. You talk about pain, they'll try to one up and tell you everyone goes through it, and you should get over it; and then go on about how they dont want to hear what you have to say, because you're not the first to feel such way.

You talk about mental illness, and they'll call you a liar. Nothing has never been wrong with you before, and surely there is nothing wrong with you now. They'll even try to flag it as a simple fabrication meant to achieve attention. (That attention, that I really can't stand to have.)

Sometimes I feel like my family kinda isolated me, and I enjoy. I never really fit in with them anyways. Slowly we've been walking away from each other, my family and I. And I'm okay with that, I'm so okay with it that I think it might be my only chance at survival... Well not my only chance, but it definitely encourages my will to live. This place, this town, this state, this country, these people... it's all killing me.