Venting I wish to be with her.

[phantomime]

This has been in my head and I need it out.

Today marks two years my dearest forever best friend has set herself free. From illness, and the burden that is living in this world in general.

I don't know how it went, I hope she managed to go quick and painless. I hope she's happy and that she knows I love her and wish her the best, forever and ever.

I hope someday I'm brave enough, too.
I'll love you forever, Mayu. In life and death. I want to meet again. I miss you, staying up all night talking, watching, drawing, gaming, or just vibing together. You have always been such an inspiration to me, and that won't ever change, I see you as my big sister and I hope you're proud of me. I know you would be. I am proud of you too, as always... I love you Mayu, you're the best.

 

[Holu]

I'm sorry. Truly.

Not too long ago my evil twin passed. I call him that because he was everything I wish I could be. He was always edgier, more reckless, and unsupressed. In the end, it's probably why he went first, as he never had the part I have which scream and fights with my own urges to seriously harm others or myself.

I was always his venting person, and when he needed me most I was ghosting everyone. He didn't write any note, but his last message to me was, "I feel so alone".

Still, I never saw him as truly dead. I still talk like him, I still have traits I inherited from our time together, and I still talk to him. To some degree, our fallen follow us through the imprints they made.

We are different people, and I can never understand the pain you're feeling, but if you need someone to talk to I'm here. It sounds like you're going through a ton and you shouldn't feel weak for not leaving yet. Whatever path you choose may you find peace in your agony. Know that she is proud of you. Blessings and love soldier.

 

[FuneralCry]

At least your friend cannot suffer anymore, this world is undeniably such a hellish place. But anyway rest in peace.