I wish there was another way

[Paralysed&Poorly]

I don't post or interact really in here as I'm struggling interacting with people in general.

But I do look on here alot and I know how much everyone is struggling including myself


it's got to a point where I can't take much more my life is physical torture and misery which has emotionally destroyed me.

The sad thing is I don't want to die but I can't live like this physically anymore so unwell and it's not going to get better. If I knew physically I could get better I'd try but I know unless there's a miracle it's not going to happen.

my parents are so amazing and i love them so much and wish there was another way but there isnt.

i can't get any delivery's without them knowing I haven't left the house for months and that was an appointment.

the only option i still can only think of is cutting and bleeding out. i found my femoral artery and originally thought because of my paralysis I could severe it with no pain I've realised I have odd sensation there so i will feel something. I have no feeling whatsoever from just above my knees and down. I keep thinking is this going to be doable I've looked at the anatomy and still don't know.

I cannot have a failed attempt at all i wish there was an easier way.

if anyone knows about the anatomy I'd be greatful

 

[rabbithole]

Im so sorry for your situation. It is awful that you want to live but you feel your qualify of life is so poor that you cannot. I'm right there with you...I have an SCI at L2 from a lumbar puncture...I also have arachnoiditis from the LP. I have no feeling in my saddle area.

I really wish you had a different hand of cards. It's so unfair.

 

[WornOutLife]

Well, I failed twice at partial hanging so, if you choose that method, read a lot about it and don't be a fool like me.
About cutting yourself, I'm really scared of pain so I'd never do that but please, do not do anything in a rush. Always have a plan, like many members here did.
Wish you the best and hope you find peace soon, pal.

 

[hoping to lose hope]

Breaks my heart OP to know you are struggling so much and there really is nothing I can say except you are not alone.
God I wish I could donate myself to you so sorry OP.
Please make sure you research well your method I would get blood thinners such as even asprin if I were to attempt that method.
Sorry I could not be of more help. Are you unable to cut an arm? do you have access to alcohol that can help make you less inhibited and dull the pain.

 

[Paralysed&Poorly]

thankyou for your messages

 

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I also really love my family and that's a huge part in why I'm still here.