For myself I look at it like, what's worse - is it the pain I'm in now and highly likely to only get worse, or is it a momentary discomfort that is absolutely worth the benefit of not existing anymore? If soberly performing the cost-benefit analysis and I have a clear benefit on the side of not existing and I'm extremely comfortable that it's worth it, then I should do it. If the cost-benefit analysis comes out unclear or that it's not worth it, maybe it's not just SI holding you back, maybe there is something to live for. It's an incredibly personal thing and no one else can do the cost-benefit analysis for you, because nobody has any idea about what's inside of you. I went through with it and was for all intents and purposes dead for around 13 minutes, and weeks of a coma, a long and arduous recovery from that. I mean I never fully recovered, it did permanent damage physically. But if I rerun my cost-benefit analysis, I made the right choice, I had a very plausible plan and it worked if not for some incredibly unlucky happenstance that I was found even though I lived alone. I knew when I woke up from the coma I was nearly instantly furious at the universe for it not having worked out. That's when I really, truly knew I had to go, and that I'd have to wait to get my hands on something as failsafe as possible.
