Discussion I wish someone would take care of me for a change

[Spyro24]

Found this question in some personality test and I think it fits me very well.

I'm starting to hate myself more and more for caring so much about other people. I would stay up all night just to be there for someone that I care about, even if that person has treated me like shit before and that's just my personality type.

Here I am writing this post at 7am after having a sleepless night. A friend was being awfully quiet and sure enough when I reached out, they weren't feeling great. She wanted to call, I accepted and I tried to comfort her as much as I could. I'd happily do that again and again and again because I care about her. I just wish someone would do the same for me... no one ever checks how I'm feeling... I seriously wonder how long it would take for someone to notice I'm gone...

I end up driving a lot of people away because I'm 'too much to deal with' or because I'm so dry. I just don't have any life left in me. It takes a lot of effort to get to know me and to get me to open up but I feel like no one wants to put that amount of effort into someone like me. Maybe it's because I'm a man and people expect me to just deal with it. I feel people treat me like a machine with no emotions or feelings and it honestly hurts so much.

Am I stupid for caring so much about others? Am I crazy for wanting someone to care that much about me? Does anyone else feel this way?

 

[hungry_ghost]

Am I stupid for caring so much about others? Am I crazy for wanting someone to care that much about me?

No, and no.

Your feelings are absolutely valid.

 

[Suicidebydeath]

I wish I knew the answer for sure.

I think it's not crazy to want that, and its not stupid to care about others.

I would stay up all night just to be there for someone that I care about, even if that person has treated me like shit before and that's just my personality type.

This is one of the things you should stop doing. Let go of toxic people in your life, it's better to be alone and search for true friends. I'm a lot better off if I don't even attempt this.

. I just wish someone would do the same for me... no one ever checks how I'm feeling... I seriously wonder how long it would take for someone to notice I'm gone...

Relatable. When you feel like this, rein it in. You can't expect people to treat you the same way if you DO care too much. However wanting someone to do the same thing or check on you is fine, just sometimes it might take weeks or months or never even with good friends. You need to find true friends. When someone checks up on you, even once, no matter how long it takes, remember that person. It means that they were thinking about you without prompting.

I end up driving a lot of people away because I'm 'too much to deal with' or because I'm so dry.

If you truly care about others, the hard truth is you have to not let loneliness or something else consume you to the point where this happens. Remember these other people aren't driving each other away, so they might be doing something right. You might need to find other outlets. Or maybe these people you 'drove away' weren't that great after all.

Maybe it's because I'm a man and people expect me to just deal with it.

I feel you. You can definitely find people that will listen. The more people you have to talk to, the more you can spread it around when you are finding it tough. If you're talking a lot to one person make sure to listen to them too and do something for them.

I feel people treat me like a machine with no emotions or feelings and it honestly hurts so much.

Relatable. If you feel this way maybe you're talking to the wrong people as well.


It's a fact that life isn't fair and some people get more attention than others. However, a lot of people are pretty selfish too, so expecting them to care as much is expecting too much and if you rein in your expectations you might not feel as disappointed. If you do find someone that cares about you, make sure to treasure them, and don't chase after the people that don't care you. In a way I think people are made to be broken sometimes, they crave attention from the people they can't get it from, and when they get support from others, they don't appreciate as much, when really it would make sense to ignore people that don't give back and give back to the people actually supporting them.

It's a lot harder to give attention to someone you're not thinking about, which is why it makes sense to do that anyway, when that person gives you support, because you're already on their mind. So for them, it's not a big leap. Make things mutual whenever you can.

So think now, if you have someone that does support you, do something for them now and give them attention even if it's not the person you want. You're looking for true friends. They do exist, they just might be hard to find. Look for the person that showed they definitely cared about you.

I recently lost a lot of important people to me (to death), so I can relate to struggling with trying to find someone to listen and care about me as much as I'd like again. True friends are pretty scarce. It sucks to lose them.