TVtrays
Member
- May 6, 2019
- 99
I haven't been on here in a few weeks and I'm shocked to see what's happened in light of recent events. More shocked that people are calling us incels. I'm a sexually active queer Jewish woman. I'm everything incels hate.
The following is addressed mostly to those who may be lurking here. I sincerely hope you take the time to read this with an open mind. I understand the feelings you may be having about this place. Perhaps you're mourning the loss of a loved one. Whatever your experience may be, please hear me out.
Over the past two years, I've noticed a staggering drop in the amount of freedoms we can enjoy online, and now we're at risk of losing one if the few safe places we have online to talk about how we feel without the fear of being involuntarily hospitalized.
I understand that there is a societal taboo surrounding death and suicide, which leads people to make emotionally charged, irrational assumptions about places like this. In the minds of most people, there is a knee jerk reaction to take the most drastic actions possible to prevent the possibly of somebody taking their own life, but little to no consideration is made into changing the root issues that lead so many to the point of suicide. The extent to which most people think about this issue amounts to suicide=bad.
This site is valuable because I have consistently been able to speak my mind and talk about what is truly bothering me. Every other internet forum or site devoted to mental health restricts or even prohibits any discussion about suicide. The discussion that is allowed amounts to demanding that the suicidal person check themself into the hospital. I've talked to suicide hotlines which and been hung up on and had the cops called on me. I've been involuntarily hospitalized as well. We cannot talk to therapists about our thoughts because they are legally obligated to report it, which will result in involuntary hospitalization. This makes forums like this the only safe outlet for people like us, and helps us to feel like we're not alone, not crazy, not irrational, not selfish and gives us back some of our humanity.
I am not actively suicidal. I'm giving life another go. I'm going back to school, working on myself and making use of my potential. I would not be alive to say that, had it not been for this site, because everybody in my life, as well as my therapists have treated me like a child incapable of autonomy for my mental health issues. The people here talk to me like a human being. They have an understanding that just doesn't exist elsewhere, and those of you fighting vehemently to take this site down are demanding that this be ripped away from us.
A lot of folks have little to no understanding of involuntary hospitalization. In the United States, to be involuntarily hospitalized means to be locked away in a psychiatric ward, isolated from the outside world (cell phones are confiscated), and unable to leave for a set amount of time. Most common is a 72 hours hold, known as a 5150 in California. This is what happened to me. You are unable to leave for the duration of your stay. I'm on hormones prescribed by an endocrinologist at a dose that has been stable for years, and they decided to cut my hormone dose in half, which lead to unpleasant side effects. They gave no explanation as to why they cut my dose. When I told my endocrinologist, she was livid.
A 5250 is a two week hold. A patient is held for two weeks if they are determined to still be a threat to themselves or others at the end of the 72 hour hold, among other factors. Some people are put on two week holds right off the bat.
A 5350 is a 90 day hold. From what I've read and heard anecdotally, this is used more often if somebody is a threat to others than themselves, among other reasons.
Basically, it's pretty universal for suicidal people to avoid being completely transparent with mental health professionals and loved ones because we are actively trying to avoid being stripped of our autonomy. As a result, we are always holding back, feeling like we can never be transparent to anybody. We carry an additional burden, which is often lifted by having places like this to express ourselves.
It has always been against site rules to encourage suicide. I have never seen anybody tell another person to end their life in the time I've been on this site, and I've been here a while. There is simply peace of mind in having a place like this. As long as barriers and systemic issues I've mentioned above exist, there will always be a need for places like this. This site has unfortunately been associated with incels, which has unfortunately been used to encourage people associate us with violent misogyny. I have never come across an incel here, nor had I even heard of incels until this whole situation arose. I did some digging and found out what incels really are. I'm a survivor of sexual assault and there is no way in hell I would associate with those people.
There is nothing sinister about this place. We just need a place to truly feel heard and understood.
The following is addressed mostly to those who may be lurking here. I sincerely hope you take the time to read this with an open mind. I understand the feelings you may be having about this place. Perhaps you're mourning the loss of a loved one. Whatever your experience may be, please hear me out.
Over the past two years, I've noticed a staggering drop in the amount of freedoms we can enjoy online, and now we're at risk of losing one if the few safe places we have online to talk about how we feel without the fear of being involuntarily hospitalized.
I understand that there is a societal taboo surrounding death and suicide, which leads people to make emotionally charged, irrational assumptions about places like this. In the minds of most people, there is a knee jerk reaction to take the most drastic actions possible to prevent the possibly of somebody taking their own life, but little to no consideration is made into changing the root issues that lead so many to the point of suicide. The extent to which most people think about this issue amounts to suicide=bad.
This site is valuable because I have consistently been able to speak my mind and talk about what is truly bothering me. Every other internet forum or site devoted to mental health restricts or even prohibits any discussion about suicide. The discussion that is allowed amounts to demanding that the suicidal person check themself into the hospital. I've talked to suicide hotlines which and been hung up on and had the cops called on me. I've been involuntarily hospitalized as well. We cannot talk to therapists about our thoughts because they are legally obligated to report it, which will result in involuntary hospitalization. This makes forums like this the only safe outlet for people like us, and helps us to feel like we're not alone, not crazy, not irrational, not selfish and gives us back some of our humanity.
I am not actively suicidal. I'm giving life another go. I'm going back to school, working on myself and making use of my potential. I would not be alive to say that, had it not been for this site, because everybody in my life, as well as my therapists have treated me like a child incapable of autonomy for my mental health issues. The people here talk to me like a human being. They have an understanding that just doesn't exist elsewhere, and those of you fighting vehemently to take this site down are demanding that this be ripped away from us.
A lot of folks have little to no understanding of involuntary hospitalization. In the United States, to be involuntarily hospitalized means to be locked away in a psychiatric ward, isolated from the outside world (cell phones are confiscated), and unable to leave for a set amount of time. Most common is a 72 hours hold, known as a 5150 in California. This is what happened to me. You are unable to leave for the duration of your stay. I'm on hormones prescribed by an endocrinologist at a dose that has been stable for years, and they decided to cut my hormone dose in half, which lead to unpleasant side effects. They gave no explanation as to why they cut my dose. When I told my endocrinologist, she was livid.
A 5250 is a two week hold. A patient is held for two weeks if they are determined to still be a threat to themselves or others at the end of the 72 hour hold, among other factors. Some people are put on two week holds right off the bat.
A 5350 is a 90 day hold. From what I've read and heard anecdotally, this is used more often if somebody is a threat to others than themselves, among other reasons.
Basically, it's pretty universal for suicidal people to avoid being completely transparent with mental health professionals and loved ones because we are actively trying to avoid being stripped of our autonomy. As a result, we are always holding back, feeling like we can never be transparent to anybody. We carry an additional burden, which is often lifted by having places like this to express ourselves.
It has always been against site rules to encourage suicide. I have never seen anybody tell another person to end their life in the time I've been on this site, and I've been here a while. There is simply peace of mind in having a place like this. As long as barriers and systemic issues I've mentioned above exist, there will always be a need for places like this. This site has unfortunately been associated with incels, which has unfortunately been used to encourage people associate us with violent misogyny. I have never come across an incel here, nor had I even heard of incels until this whole situation arose. I did some digging and found out what incels really are. I'm a survivor of sexual assault and there is no way in hell I would associate with those people.
There is nothing sinister about this place. We just need a place to truly feel heard and understood.
.
