Venting I wish my family would die so I could cbt in peace

[ecmnesia]

i'm selfish, a shitty horrible person but that's it. If they'd die I wouldn't have anything holding me back.

 

[Mr2005]

I don't care about my family just my girlfriend. I don't wish her dead though but I fear that's what will happen if I die. I need her to be ok. She can't save me, I am absolutely done. I'll be glad not to be around to see my parents die even if I hate them. That's about all there is to look forward to now.

 

[WornOutLife]

That will certainly make things easier for me.
My only reason for living is helping my dad dealing with life sh**

 

[MariV]

im so sad for my mother but she says she rather sees me dead than suffering so im doing it this week at some point. poor thing, but i dont know what else could i do

 

[deleted]

If my family could die maybe I would want to live

 

[Thatdude]

i'm selfish, a shitty horrible person but that's it. If they'd die I wouldn't have anything holding me back.

I felt the same way, and I have mixed feelings about it. My grandparents them being alive when I was younger that kept me from CTB. But this was 10 or 15 years ago, and at this point I wish I didn't use it as an excuse. I'm now trapped in a hell of if I off myself at this second then it could massively effect my sister's kid's lives since the sister a type of person that gave her kids PTSD before they are even 5. As I'm typing this I'm hearing her being drunk in another part of the house insulting my parents and her kids
So I have to figure out a way to not damage them anymore if possible.

If anything I hope I just die. It would make things a lot more easier. Let everyone else be miserable, and at least let me be in peace dead.

 

[am1485]

Yeah I can relate my close friends and family are what is holding me back.

 

[Hotsackage]

Yup me to

 

[dilapidatedMind]

I don't care about my family just my girlfriend. I don't wish her dead though but I fear that's what will happen if I die. I need her to be ok. She can't save me, I am absolutely done. I'll be glad not to be around to see my parents die even if I hate them. That's about all there is to look forward to now.

Yeah I was hoping this girl I like a lot could save me but I realize she can't. Hurts so much

 

[Painless_end]

I knew I wasn't the only person thinking like this.

 

[Lupgevif]

I don't wish my family died, but I can't lie it would be much easier to ctb if they did.

 

[laura fines]

i'm selfish, a shitty horrible person but that's it. If they'd die I wouldn't have anything holding me back.

sometimes i thought the same thing,
I hate the pain that I'm going to give them

 

[Squiddy]

I don't wish mine dead, but I wish mine would forget me

 

[dilapidatedMind]

Don't let the prolife busybody Dr Tenma interfere.

 

[Iseeblue_711]

i'm selfish, a shitty horrible person but that's it. If they'd die I wouldn't have anything holding me back.

I kinda fit in your description too, and I ve thought that it would be so much more easier for me to CTB if they would be dead, and I also thought of killing them just so I can kill myself....but it was just a thought, it s not like I m gonna do it like, ever, and I felt very guilty for this.At some point I thought I might be a psychopath(other reasons added), but I don t think so, because I don t lack empathy towards everything.

 

[Lost in a Dream]

I sometimes feel this way as well, but I've been wondering lately - if I CTB anyway, what's the worst that will happen? Sure they might feel bad, but maybe with time, it will be easier to deal with. Even if it isn't, what if one or more of them realize how worthless life is and CTB? Would that be a bad thing? I know it would be a bad thing to intentionally push someone to do it, but if it's just an unavoidable side effect then it's out of my control and if I am dead, it wouldn't matter to me anymore.

I'm getting to the point now where I don't even care if they are alive or dead. I just want to get it over with so I can stop thinking about it. Regardless of how it might affect them, when the time comes for them to die, whether it's natural death, accidental, or suicide, then the only people that might care will be gone and then I will be forgotten.