doomedtoroam
Indecise dumbo
- Sep 11, 2023
- 8
I keep fucking everything up... i told my sibling i wanted to stay inside and they don't talk to me. Then tonight i made dinner and my other sibling came home and i fucked up the dinner and was horrible to my other sibling, and i went to the bathroom to sh and take a shower. My other sibling almost saw me sh and they told me "thank you for the meal" and hugged me.
I don't deserve them... i thought i would feel ok for making them hate me but then my other sibling comes in and says thank you?? Im having a meltdown in the bathroom fighting with myself in my own head and trying to gather my thoughts. I just want to die, i want to kill myself but i feel way too bad now. They told me i will turn 20 soon and i have to behave better but I don't want to turn 20 at all. My family did abuse me in multiple ways but they still love me. If i kill myself my family will be in so much pain, especially my mom and this sibling that gave me a hug. I don't want them to be in pain due to my passing, i'm just made to fuck everything up am i.. i wish my parents didn't make me as a last ditch effort to save their marriage, it failed anyway so i'm truly useless..
edited for spelling mistake.
I don't deserve them... i thought i would feel ok for making them hate me but then my other sibling comes in and says thank you?? Im having a meltdown in the bathroom fighting with myself in my own head and trying to gather my thoughts. I just want to die, i want to kill myself but i feel way too bad now. They told me i will turn 20 soon and i have to behave better but I don't want to turn 20 at all. My family did abuse me in multiple ways but they still love me. If i kill myself my family will be in so much pain, especially my mom and this sibling that gave me a hug. I don't want them to be in pain due to my passing, i'm just made to fuck everything up am i.. i wish my parents didn't make me as a last ditch effort to save their marriage, it failed anyway so i'm truly useless..
edited for spelling mistake.
