Discussion I wish I was white

[Cheza_mus]

One of the reasons I want to ctb is because I am black

 

[theguineapigking]

I'm sorry for what you're going through.

Is there an external reason(s) for how you feel? Have you dealt with toxic racism in your life? Do you just not like how you look?

If you've dealt with racism, I'm really sorry. I'm white myself, so I won't pretend to stand in your shoes. But I'm starting to get really sick of all of this bull crap. All lives matter. Those people really need to get this through their thick skulls; ALL LIVES MATTER. It doesn't matter what gender or color you are. It doesn't matter how tall or short you are. We are all conscious living beings and this world needs to accept that 100%.

Sorry for the rant there. I just truly believe the above and wish it would come true.


Best wishes in the meantime dude. I really hope that you find a way to be comfortable with who you are. Or find people who aren't so toxic(if that's the issue).

 

[Bootleg Astolfo]

Life's as worthless as a white person, you'd still just be treated like subhuman shit for whatever random reason people feel like. Won't be specifically racism, but it's gonna be the same end result.

 

[Mixo]

As a person of color, I totally understand where you're coming from. I've lived on this earth for quite some time and even I still wish I was white too. No matter what other people say on here, I understand it is definitely less stressful. Yeah, life wouldn't necessarily be perfect, but it would definitely eliminate some stress.
Also, fuck the police.

 

[StevieNixs]

Really sorry you are going through this...
Racism is a plague to be honest and its effects reverberate to the present day leaving many "people of color" feeling badly about themselves. You need to understand that there is nothing anomalous about you. But, there is something perverse about a world which has left you feeling this way.

 

[Someone123]

This is an interesting topic, because of course being black in the u.s. is generally more stressful than being white in the u.s., but as a white person I have know of pretty many white people who have committed suicide, so I decided to look up the statistics for suicides in the u.s. by race to see if I could find it. The first relevant listing was published by the CDC and it showed the statistics for the years 1999 and 2017 in a couple of tables, and I was surprised to see that, at least according to the CDC, the suicide rate in the U.S. was more than twice as high for white people as for black people in the year 2017. I don't know the explanation for this, but I will post the tables for both females and for males below. In 2017, for females, the ratio was 2.8 white females for every black female and for males the ratio was 2.5 white males for every black male.

 

[Chey]

So sorry you feel this way. I'm apologising from being white and white people perhaps mainly being the reason that you have experienced toxic comments and exclusion. I have often felt embarrassed by white privilege.
Thing for me, not knocking anyone saying or believing all lives matter. Of course all lives matter. However, as a white person I have not had to fight and struggle for right of access to things we take for granted. I've not experienced being sidelined solely because of the colour of my skin.
I am truly sorry for all negative experiences you have had or may continue to have. I can't even begin to imagine what it must be like.

 

[StevieNixs]

This is an interesting topic, because of course being black in the u.s. is generally more stressful than being white in the u.s., but as a white person I have know of pretty many white people who have committed suicide, so I decided to look up the statistics for suicides in the u.s. by race to see if I could find it. The first relevant listing was published by the CDC and it showed the statistics for the years 1999 and 2017 in a couple of tables, and I was surprised to see that, at least according to the CDC, the suicide rate in the U.S. was more than twice as high for white people as for black people in the year 2017. I don't know the explanation for this, but I will post the tables for both females and for males below. In 2017, for females, the ratio was 2.8 white females for every black female and for males the ratio was 2.5 white males for every black male.

View attachment 81877

View attachment 81878

This is often a reason cited for higher white suicide rates. I have known about this for years. See last paragraph of this article - "What explains these differences?"

Black Americans may be more resilient to stress than white Americans

ihpi.umich.edu

Black people are exposed to microaggressions and racism from a very early age - childhood - so it becomes something that is worn like a jacket that cannot be taken off. You are left in a position of having to endure it because it is omnipresent, but this eventually has a "weathering" effect leading to disparities in medical health outcomes and in many cases suicide ideation.
Also Suicide rates amongst Black children are actually rising

Why Are More Black Kids Suicidal? A Search for Answers. (Published 2021)

Mental health experts assumed that people of all races had the same risk factors for self-harm. Emerging evidence suggests that is not the case.

www.nytimes.com

‘What’s Going on With Our Black Girls?’ Experts Warn of Rising Suicide Rates. (Published 2021)

Researchers have uncovered worrisome trends among Black youth.

www.nytimes.com

Suicide rates for white children aged 5 to 11 are declining but for black children of the same age, they are steadily rising. They are twice as likely to take their own lives according to this article

‘We are in a state of emergency’: What's behind the rising suicide rate among Black kids

Today, suicide is the second-leading cause of death among Black children ages 10 to 19. And that rate is rising faster for them than for any other racial or ethnic group.

whyy.org

So sorry you feel this way. I'm apologising from being white and white people perhaps mainly being the reason that you have experienced toxic comments and exclusion. I have often felt embarrassed by white privilege.
Thing for me, not knocking anyone saying or believing all lives matter. Of course all lives matter. However, as a white person I have not had to fight and struggle for right of access to things we take for granted. I've not experienced being sidelined solely because of the colour of my skin.
I am truly sorry for all negative experiences you have had or may continue to have. I can't even begin to imagine what it must be like.

I am sure you do not need to apologise for being white. You cannot help the race you were born in anymore than the OP. This world is a total shitfest tbh and for others to dehumanise, marginalize, degrade and dehumanize a person because of the color of their skin, their race, ethnicity, is totally repugnant to me. These people, act as if a Black, Asian, Native American etc person woke up one day and decided to birth themselves of color just to piss them off.

 

[rationalis]

Perhaps even worse than microaggressions and gaslighting in America, homicide is the leading cause of death for Black Men under the age of 45.

Homicide is the leading cause of death for pregnant Black Women.

America is not safe.

 

[Sherri]

Cheza you should feel proud of your skin, just m humble opinion? I'm white and I always say I would like to be black. Black people don't age like us they always look young, they have a natural swag and coolness about them. See how the words is upside down? I would swap with you in a minute. And Morgan Freeman is one of my heroes. The only thing I don't understand is that América after having and having right now so many black people in politics, parliament and so much more, Martin Luther king. Still some treats you as american not fairly.

 

[Sky66]

I don't know what to say. I HATE racism! The good news is that the world is more aware of it than 20 years ago. I'm sure that in the future race is not an issue anymore. I've got some black friends and I have never looked different to them then to my white friends. Stay strong my friend.

 

[rationalis]

Clever stevienix, insult people and then ignore them so they can't respond.

 

[Snake of Eden]

Me too. Life is much better as white European if everything else was held equal. Better looking stronger with less inferiority complex

 

[Kennish]

One of the reasons I want to ctb is because I am black

I was I was brown. I really would. My skin can't stand the sun. You don't know how lucky you are not having that problem in the summer.

 

[Snake of Eden]

I was I was brown. I really would. My skin can't stand the sun. You don't know how lucky you are not having that problem in the summer.

Blacks have a problem synthesizing vitamin D so they have problems with the sun too

 

[Kennish]

Blacks have a problem synthesizing vitamin D so they have problems with the sun too

I don't understand

I don't understand

Im just saying.. I wish I could be out in the sun all day in the summer without getting sunburned. I wish I could be out all the time, just getting the sun rays

 

[DeutscheKartoffel]

Blacks have a problem synthesizing vitamin D so they have problems with the sun too

People should breed with me,
I'm Asian.
I don't have problem with Sun. lol

Each ethnicity is beautiful,
even though European might have been the mainstream,
it's okay to have preferences.

I separate my preference away from my ethnical identity,
You wouldn't wanna get too caught up in it.

 

[peepo]

I feel you. My parents and sibling is light skinned and here I am with very dark skinned.

You're not treated the same as light skinned, especially if you live in a western country.

It is one of my reasons to CTB but low on the list.

 

[Mixo]

So sorry you feel this way. I'm apologising from being white and white people perhaps mainly being the reason that you have experienced toxic comments and exclusion. I have often felt embarrassed by white privilege.
Thing for me, not knocking anyone saying or believing all lives matter. Of course all lives matter. However, as a white person I have not had to fight and struggle for right of access to things we take for granted. I've not experienced being sidelined solely because of the colour of my skin.
I am truly sorry for all negative experiences you have had or may continue to have. I can't even begin to imagine what it must be like.

I know this isn't my thread but thanks for getting it.

Me too. Life is much better as white European if everything else was held equal. Better looking stronger with less inferiority complex

Stronger? I smell a hint of eugenics.

 

[Kennish]

I know this isn't my thread but thanks for getting it.

Stronger? I smell a hint of eugenics.

White people aren't stronger.. come on. Black's are born strong man. And athletic.

I'm white. And I sure wasn't born big and strong. At all. Small boned as fuck.

 

[Snake of Eden]

White people aren't stronger.. come on. Black's are born strong man. And athletic.

I'm white. And I sure wasn't born big and strong. At all. Small boned as fuck.

I said stronger in general not in comparison to blacks but some other ethnicities. I dont want to get too specific because i dont want people to feel uncomfortable about it. Yes i think white people in general have more pleasing aesthetic than other ethnicities. I am not saying that there are no ugly white people just like i am not claiming there arent good looking people from all ethnicities. Just my personal observation. Of course thats gross generalization and i dont mean to ascribe any superiority for european race in all the board but I do think aesthetics to some extent are embedded in our subconscious and there are traits that most of us can find pleasing even though there are of course personal preferences that are shaped by environment and interactions just like they say beauty is on the eye of the beholder. I hope i am not making anyone feel uncomfortable with my opinions but i could always be biased and wrong.

 

[Kennish]

I said stronger in general not in comparison to blacks but some other ethnicities. I dont want to get too specific because i dont want people to feel uncomfortable about it. Yes i think white people in general have more pleasing aesthetic than other ethnicities. I am not saying that there are no ugly white people just like i am not claiming there arent good looking people from all ethnicities. Just my personal observation. Of course thats gross generalization and i dont mean to ascribe any superiority for european race in all the board but I do think aesthetics to some extent are embedded in our subconscious and there are traits that most of us can find pleasing even though there are of course personal preferences that are shaped by environment and interactions just like they say beauty is on the eye of the beholder. I hope i am not making anyone feel uncomfortable with my opinions but i could always be biased and wrong.

Oh okay. I thought you meant stronger by muscles etc.

 

[Snake of Eden]

Oh okay. I thought you meant stronger by muscles etc.

Like for example where I am from men are wimpy looking, short and with no muscular tone or definition. in comparison black and white guys in adolescence even if they dont do alot of sport are naturally lean, agile and defined in general. There are people like that here but very few. I feel to blame is alot of inbreeding that is highly practiced here has resulted in this outcome.

 

[Before26]

One of the reasons I want to ctb is because I am black

My heart breaks for you. All I can say is that I was right there with you when I was younger, and it takes immense work and self love but also surrounding yourself with beautiful history, people and culture that represents you, gives you pride rather than any negative imagery.

But it took me a long time, and I'm still not fully there. Growing up in an all white area, in a western country, is psychologically tough and I think we don't really talk about the impact that has on our mental health. The barrage of hate we get for "self-hate" is enough to make anyone silent about it being a reason. Even I feel embarrassed to think that the way I'm treated because of my race may be a factor… so I'm really glad this forum is allowing you to be so open as this is such a deeply traumatic reason, so engrained and shared by so many people that stay quiet. All I can do is validate you in your sadness, and hope with time you find that love. Start by loving other black people, and in time, you can find some space for yourself.

 

[death137]

I'm sorry you feel like that. I'm black but I'm ok with my color. My problem is being ugly and short. I just wish I was average or beautiful like my family members.

I'm guessing you live in a western country. I understand just being black alone can be hard there. Sending you hugs.

 

[Insomniac]

hi @Cheza_mus,

I'm dark skin black and can empathize with you. as @Before26 said, as you age, you get better at dealing with the inner racist.

however, as you age, it also gets worse in term of how society treats you because on top of being black, you have lost your youthful appearance.

I'm only in my mid-twenty but I've already started to feel it. So, keep in mind that it'll only get worse. It can help you feel thankful for what you have now. sorry if I sound cynical but it's the objective true that can momentarily free you.

I don't know if you were bothered or hurt by some of the comments under this thread, so I'm sorry for that too. as you're able to see for yourself, this is how things are and always will be.

 

[irafamma]

I think black skin is beautiful.

 

[Hirokami]

As someone who is part-black and nonpassing, being white has its advantages. Traveling the world is a lot easier and your skin color alone would be considered a global beauty standard. No, I don't think white people are inherently better than anyone else. I know for a fact they're treated better, though. I'm not going to say all white people have it easy, no. But still. Not having to deal with racism would be one less problem I'd have to deal with, though, and I'll take whatever I can get.

 

[ikadasui]

One of the reasons I want to ctb is because I am black

Literally me!! I can't stand my dark skin and curly hair and the treatment I get from being this cursed race

 

[irafamma]

These statements make me really sad. Dark skin color is exotic and beautiful. Also the curly hair. Just saying.