I wish I was dead I wish I was dead I wish I was dead

[BitterlyAlive]

I had two times this year where I could have fucking died. The first time I stopped myself right before I got hurt. The second time I don't even know what happened. The third time better be coming soon. I can't deal with this shit anymore. I'm so damn tired. Every day I hate myself more and more. Everything becomes more hopeless and futile. My problems get worse and worse, and it's all my fault.

I really wish I lived alone right now. Tonight honestly feels like a night I could die by suicide. The SN is 10 feet away and it's screaming my name. I could just pour some into a few glasses with some water, drink up, and be dead by morning.

Just as I've been writing this I've had stupid urges to slit my wrists (how cliche) or go out and get hit by a train. But I don't have the excuse of a med reaction this time. I'm just in a mood tonight and it sucks. I feel like I'm losing my mind.

I quite honestly don't care if this is the second or third thread I've made today. It's been rough.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Your posts never get on my nerves. If they did, I'd just roll my eyes, sigh, and try to stfu and not make a self-righteous ass of myself. (Sometimes I fail. )

Seriously though, I don't bs, not even to make someone feel better. I'm glad you're posting and getting some support and company. Glad to send some hug energy your way.

 

[Silver]

I think you're doing a great job of making sure you're ready and not doing it on impulse. Some days are harder than others. I hope tomorrow is easier for you.

 

[checkouttime]

Your not harming anyone or doing anything wrong. post as much as you like, thats what it here for.some people don't post. If it helps you though, go ahead and don't be afraid. you have as much right as anyone to say whatever you want :)

 

[tidalwxves]

I had two times this year where I could have fucking died. The first time I stopped myself right before I got hurt. The second time I don't even know what happened. The third time better be coming soon. I can't deal with this shit anymore. I'm so damn tired. Every day I hate myself more and more. Everything becomes more hopeless and futile. My problems get worse and worse, and it's all my fault.

I really wish I lived alone right now. Tonight honestly feels like a night I could die by suicide. The SN is 10 feet away and it's screaming my name. I could just pour some into a few glasses with some water, drink up, and be dead by morning.

Just as I've been writing this I've had stupid urges to slit my wrists (how cliche) or go out and get hit by a train. But I don't have the excuse of a med reaction this time. I'm just in a mood tonight and it sucks. I feel like I'm losing my mind.

I quite honestly don't care if this is the second or third thread I've made today. It's been rough.

I think ou are brave for not bottling up your feelings and I'm proud of you for not rushing into a permanent decision. If you hesitated, you weren't weak or "chicken", that just wasn't your time. It is brave to push yourself to live when you feel like this. Thank you for being real, I appreciate this space because of authentic people like you

 

[Stick]

It's okay to post as much as you like. You aren't spamming. This forum is here to give and take help and empathy and its okay for you to need to take a little extra right now.
Is there something that triggered this just now?

 

[BitterlyAlive]

It's okay to post as much as you like. You aren't spamming. This forum is here to give and take help and empathy and its okay for you to need to take a little extra right now.
Is there something that triggered this just now?

These urges. I thought they were getting better earlier but they just ended up slapping me in the face. It would be fine if I lived alone and could actually do something about it

 

[Ghost2211]

sorry it's a rough day. I'm always happy to see your posts. You're not a bother at all, and I'm glad you come to us for support. Sending you hugs and love. I hope tomorrow is a better day.