Venting I wish I was believed

[HollowDrop]

I don't think anyone I talk to actually believes me when I say I want to kill myself, probably because I've said this over the years and they think I'll never actually do it. It really annoys me. I'm just a doomer, right. Just today I was inspecting my apartment to see if I had any reliable spots for hanging myself in case I want to use that method (I don't, damn). People just turn their back to my anguish and go back to their happiness because no one wants to deal with a depressed loser.
I'm so happy this forum exists. Being able to speak about suicide without having a back turned to you or getting a freakout is so liberating. People in my life not taking me seriously only feeds how worthless I feel. When my time to CTB comes they'll get the proof they need from me.

 

[athyy]

im really sorry that people dismiss your feelings like that. if you need anyone to talk to without feeling dismissed or ignored, im here.

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

I don't think anyone I talk to actually believes me when I say I want to kill myself, probably because I've said this over the years and they think I'll never actually do it. It really annoys me. I'm just a doomer, right. Just today I was inspecting my apartment to see if I had any reliable spots for hanging myself in case I want to use that method (I don't, damn). People just turn their back to my anguish and go back to their happiness because no one wants to deal with a depressed loser.
I'm so happy this forum exists. Being able to speak about suicide without having a back turned to you or getting a freakout is so liberating. People in my life not taking me seriously only feeds how worthless I feel. When my time to CTB comes they'll get the proof they need from me.

It's so upsetting when people invalidate our suffering.
Instead of saying " you must be in a great deal of emotional pain to feel the need to resort to suicide, do you want to talk about it ".
They just ignore us.
Fuck them all.

 

[Lynx.]

Many hugs to you.
Nobody should feel as if they weren't taken seriously while dealing with suicidal ideation.

The fact that you have carried these emotions with you for years is more than enough of a reason to take you seriously - there is no requirement that says that one should commit to CTB if they express suicidal feelings, I'm sorry you feel that nobody takes you seriously simply because you haven't gotten through with it.

As someone who has been dealing with suicidal thoughts since I was 16, I'm still afraid of going through CTB, especially since there's no painless, safe and guaranteed method to work - that doesn't invalidate what I feel, or the weight of those feelings. My incapacity to CTB so far doesn't take away the feelings of anguish I held for years and still hold to this day.

Many hugs, again. ♥

 

[Forever Sleep]

Yeah- sadly it's like the story of 'The Boy who cried Wolf'. People likely won't take it seriously if they've heard it multiple times before. It's sad really. It's not like the intensity of your pain and struggle goes away but I think very few people in this world really want to deal with it. My Dad once told me that people will be sympathetic up to a point but then, they'll just get tired of hearing it. I'm sorry. It can be a very lonely place to be. But yes- here is a good place to find support.

 

[cosifantutti]

I have lived with mental illness for more than 20 years. Earlier this year I mentioned to some people that I was suicidal. I hadn't said that since 2002. People didn't take me seriously. That I didn't do it makes me feel I have proved them right. If I do ctb people will be shocked except for my husband who really gets it.

 

[FuneralCry]

I just believe that other people cannot be relied on and most people are too self centred to ever care, I'm not even surprised that people are acting in such a way, sadly it seems like suicidal people are treat badly everywhere.

 

[gonnaregretthis]

ohhh my god i think about this all the time i was honestly gonna make my own post. its one of the worst feelings and with the people i talk to they all say they "wanna kill themselves" but i feel like theyre all joking abt it............ but when i say it im like making the mood weird or something. it makes me feel so crazy.

 

[HollowDrop]

ohhh my god i think about this all the time i was honestly gonna make my own post. its one of the worst feelings and with the people i talk to they all say they "wanna kill themselves" but i feel like theyre all joking abt it............ but when i say it im like making the mood weird or something. it makes me feel so crazy.

It is so annoying. Earlier today I mentioned my suicidal thoughts to some friends and it spawned a whole ordeal, one friend called the choice to leave this world a "dumb shit choice" and I'm so angry. We should be free to choose our own fates, but people freak out if you talk about something like this unless you're joking like you said people do.

 

[gonnaregretthis]

It is so annoying. Earlier today I mentioned my suicidal thoughts to some friends and it spawned a whole ordeal, one friend called the choice to leave this world a "dumb shit choice" and I'm so angry. We should be free to choose our own fates, but people freak out if you talk about something like this unless you're joking like you said people do.

ugh thats so fucked up. im sorry they said that, theres no way shaming someone for feeling suicidal is helpful in any way. like its not gonna make you less suicidal or change your mind, its just gonna make you not trust your friends. hope you can find people you can trust more :(