I wish I killed myself in summer

[Daria98765]

I had perfect chance,everything prepared,but didn't do it,I delayed it for nothing.
I wish I killed myself this summer.
All this shit is getting worse.
Please god just let me die quickly in a nuclear explosion,I want my body to be evaporated by a US or Russian nuclear weapon

 

[darkwaters]

I regret waiting as well. The longer I wait, the more relationships I lose and the worse my life gets. I also get worse I think. I'd rather people remember me as an okay and somewhat functional human being rather than a shell of a person. This is how I know I have to go soon. It's getting dicey waiting this long as things spiral down.

 

[emgrl]

I, too, would like to go by that explosion… if we could only get the target location

 

[sundown12]

same here, i had an attempt like a couple of years ago, and i wished i killed myself back then. would have been chilling in heaven by now for like 2 years already instead of like barely surviving every day. unless of course i would end up on some weird ass astral place.

 

[emgrl]

I regret waiting as well. The longer I wait, the more relationships I lose and the worse my life gets. I also get worse I think. I'd rather people remember me as an okay and somewhat functional human being rather than a shell of a person. This is how I know I have to go soon. It's getting dicey waiting this long as things spiral down.

I know what you mean… I was starting to reach out to more people, thought it might help to recover somehow… now I know just how different I am, and sadly, I don't think I'll ever be able to get back to being a functional human being again.

 

[Daria98765]

I, too, would like to go by that explosion… if we could only get the target location

Nah,just the entire world please,so I don't have to move somewhere and wait for an nuclear missile to arrive.
There are so many nuclear missiles, actually big war and still I have to use exit bag to die

 

[GrumpyFrog]

Nah,just the entire world please,so I don't have to move somewhere and wait for an nuclear missile to arrive.
There are so many nuclear missiles, actually big war and still I have to use exit bag to die

Welp, I know it isn't much consolation for you, but I'm here researching methods precisely to avoid dying from a nuke or dying or being disabled by other war stuff. There are definitely pros in being able to control how we die, how painful it is, how fast it is. Exit bag is so much better than dying from radiation sickness, or even in a fire or a blast, isn't it?
Wishing you peace and freedom from pain, whatever that entails.

 

[FuneralCry]

Your feelings of wishing that you left at an earlier date are understandable. I wish that I left a while ago as it would have prevented so much unnecessary suffering. Life usually just does seem to get worse as time goes on, causing humans to be even more tired. To me none of this could ever be worth it, no matter what. But I do understand that when life gets worse it really can be dreadful. One of the worst things about this life is that there is no limit as to how awful things can get. I wish you the best.

 

[Daria98765]

One of the worst things about this life is that there is no limit as to how awful things can get.

There is always a limit how good things can be,but there is no limit for pain)

 

[Lost Magic]

Yeah, I hear what you are saying. I had an awful summer this year. I don't want to go through another. The world is becoming a more dangerous place to be in anyway, so I hope to be gone soon. Most people just flat-out suck, in my opinion. I prefer animals.

 

[savoytruffle]

I'm regretting postponing as well, it all just keeps getting worse and worse

 

[NoLightRemains]

I know what you mean… I was starting to reach out to more people, thought it might help to recover somehow… now I know just how different I am, and sadly, I don't think I'll ever be able to get back to being a functional human being again.

This is one of the most painful parts about being chronically suicidal. I feel so isolated from others, like my trauma forced me to see the world in such a negative light. I didn't fit in well before, but it just gets worse as time goes on.

 

[universe]

I regret waiting as well. The longer I wait, the more relationships I lose and the worse my life gets. I also get worse I think. I'd rather people remember me as an okay and somewhat functional human being rather than a shell of a person. This is how I know I have to go soon. It's getting dicey waiting this long as things spiral down.

So true. I've always thought about suicide and with hindsight, I really should have died a few years ago, it would have saved me a lot of suffering, and I would have left with a "good image". Especially since I see the CTB as my destiny, as something inevitable in my case. I'm bound to die from CTB, so dying 10 years ago, now or 10 years from now, the outcome would have been the same for me.
I'm going to have to leave when I'm the worst, and things have really gotten worse...I'm sorry I wasted my time staying alive.

 

[thorsve]

felt that. I wanted to CTB by hanging from a tree but it's so hard now when the weathers cold and the trees are wet.

 

[achromatic]

I too regret not killing myself sooner and my "attempt" if you can even call it that, not working. After years of being chronically suicidal I feel simply cumbersome. It's getting boring both for me and others. I'm a burden to my family - living in limbo, never wanting to live but fearful of dying. It's like I'm delaying something unavoidable - people tend to expect some kind of binary outcome - you die by suicide or you are expected to get better, or maybe more accurately -better yourself - stop complaining and become a functioning memeber of society. That's why I feel constant guilt for not ctb yet and something akin to a pressure.