I wish I had cancer

[FarAcrossTheWater]

At the very least I'll be dead. People won't actually avoid me. My friends and family will rally around. I remember a professor in college saying that depression is often times worse than cancer because with cancer, you can at least still feel happiness. Suicidal depression results in an absence of happiness which is a fate probably far worse than death. Cancer brings friends and family together while suicidal depression often pushes friends and family apart. You see all these people being praised for surviving cancer but nothing about surviving suicidal depression. People think I'm a fucking "pussy" for "being sad". No one will question my guts if I have cancer. I seriously wish I had cancer instead of suicidal depression.

 

[puppy9]

Yeah I wanna all the balloons, flowers, make a wish, plushies, doctors love me, people around me, and if I die they'll still respect me.

it's painful but worth it....

 

[KleinerWolf]

People with cancers that do not want to die,
People without severe terminal illness that want to die, for various reasons,
quite a dilemma really.

It's funny how we perceive things.
I sometimes ask myself what makes life enjoyable and worthwhile and what does not?

I have an answer to be honest, but it doesn't really help me.
It just makes me suicidal if Im being honest.

 

[maybepossiblyithink]

I wouldn't want to burden doctors or family with it, but yeah. I wish I had some sort of incurable fatal disease. Just so I'd know for a fact I'll die.

 

[Ren Elsie Jewelria]

I'd say "be careful what you wish for".
Usually it's a slow, painful death and the caring family around you is often just a TV cliche.
There are many people dying of cancer who are abandoned by their families because it's "too depressing" for them to keep taking care of you and watch you rot alive.

 

[maybepossiblyithink]

I'd say "be careful what you wish for".
Usually it's a slow, painful death and the caring family around you is often just a TV cliche.
There are many people dying of cancer who are abandoned by their families because it's "too depressing" for them to keep taking care of you and watch you rot alive.

This is very true.
Depression makes it a bit harder to be realistic, though.

 

[puppy9]

I'd say "be careful what you wish for".
Usually it's a slow, painful death and the caring family around you is often just a TV cliche.
There are many people dying of cancer who are abandoned by their families because it's "too depressing" for them to keep taking care of you and watch you rot alive.

Never thought of that thanks I don't want cancer now.

 

[Disappointered]

The only bad part of cancer is if the painkillers aren't enough...otherwise I agree with the OP. even w/o family gathering at least 'waiting to die' involves heavy painkillers and has a pretty short times span and all you have to do is lie there until itls over. of course, if painkillers don't work then it's horrible.

 

[FarAcrossTheWater]

I'd say "be careful what you wish for".
Usually it's a slow, painful death and the caring family around you is often just a TV cliche.
There are many people dying of cancer who are abandoned by their families because it's "too depressing" for them to keep taking care of you and watch you rot alive.

Right but having suicidal depression probably isn't much better and I have to live with this for a long time. With cancer, chances are is that I'll be dead at the very least.

 

[I screwed up]

Right but having suicidal depression probably isn't much better and I have to live with this for a long time. With cancer, chances are is that I'll be dead at the very least.

Agree ... That's why I would love to have some fatal health condition like cancer and go sooner than later

 

[Giraffey]

I very recently treated a young lady who is on her third round of chemotherapy with very aggressive drugs. She has been dealing with cancer, tests, medication, basically suffering for the last two years, it was not something I would ever wish to endure myself.

One of my specialities is the treatment of vomiting disorders and this particular young lady was one of the more severe cases I've seen. She was already on a cocktail of antiemetic drugs that had to be administered parenterally because she could literally keep nothing down. She was pale, gaunt and in constant pain; she suffered mood swings and depression; exhaustion, even getting out of bed that morning had been a monumental task.

Her family were falling apart because they could do nothing but stand back and watch her suffer, she felt guilty about shouting at her mother one morning for innocently asking if she wanted a cup of coffee, knowing that she wouldn't be able to keep it down. Her relationship with her long-term partner had reached breaking point, she felt guilty because he had effectively become her carer and was buckling under the strain.

I wouldn't wish that kind of pain on anybody, enduring cancer would simply be switching one despairing existence for another. You may argue "but at least there's an endpoint", perhaps, but with a planned, rational suicide you get to decide that endpoint, with cancer - you're at the mercy of a monster over which you have no little to no control. Sure, you know that you're going to die, but it may be slow, painful, for all involved, and you don't get to make it stop.

 

[Amumu]

I remember there was a teenager who died from leukemia when I was in middle school...
Even at the time, I asked myself why I wasn't the one who had it.

 

[All washed up]

I'd say "be careful what you wish for".
Usually it's a slow, painful death and the caring family around you is often just a TV cliche.
There are many people dying of cancer who are abandoned by their families because it's "too depressing" for them to keep taking care of you and watch you rot alive.

I saw a close friend die from cancer.
Some so called friends abandoned him as couldn't cope.
Family members dragging him down arguing over who would get what from his estate.
Not pretty

 

[InTheAirTonight]

This is one of the most relatable posts I've read here

 

[chrisbate7]

I very recently treated a young lady who is on her third round of chemotherapy with very aggressive drugs. She has been dealing with cancer, tests, medication, basically suffering for the last two years, it was not something I would ever wish to endure myself.

One of my specialities is the treatment of vomiting disorders and this particular young lady was one of the more severe cases I've seen. She was already on a cocktail of antiemetic drugs that had to be administered parenterally because she could literally keep nothing down. She was pale, gaunt and in constant pain; she suffered mood swings and depression; exhaustion, even getting out of bed that morning had been a monumental task.

Her family were falling apart because they could do nothing but stand back and watch her suffer, she felt guilty about shouting at her mother one morning for innocently asking if she wanted a cup of coffee, knowing that she wouldn't be able to keep it down. Her relationship with her long-term partner had reached breaking point, she felt guilty because he had effectively become her carer and was buckling under the strain.

I wouldn't wish that kind of pain on anybody, enduring cancer would simply be switching one despairing existence for another. You may argue "but at least there's an endpoint", perhaps, but with a planned, rational suicide you get to decide that endpoint, with cancer - you're at the mercy of a monster over which you have no little to no control. Sure, you know that you're going to die, but it may be slow, painful, for all involved, and you don't get to make it stop.

This is why if I ever get terminal cancer I will go to Oregon and get assisted suicide. Obviously that's only an option if you'll be dead in 6 months though

 

[Konjac]

It's not fair that there's people out there with terminal cancer that are desperate to live, then people like me who are in perfect health but desperately wanting to die. I wish it was possible to trade places... I would in a heartbeat tbh.

 

[Symbiote]

I hope to go out one day like my mom. In her sleep with Stage 4 Brain Cancer, but nah, I gotta do the SN in a bottle and make a wish to die.

 

[bov]

The only bad part of cancer is if the painkillers aren't enough...otherwise I agree with the OP. even w/o family gathering at least 'waiting to die' involves heavy painkillers and has a pretty short times span and all you have to do is lie there until itls over. of course, if painkillers don't work then it's horrible.

lol I'm pretty sure the 'only bad part of cancer' isn't just if the painkillers aren't enough bro

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

When my best friend's mother had cancer, she decided to not have chemo as it would only extend her life by a few months and would extend her suffering as well. Her siblings lost their shit over it, were totally selfish about wanting her to live longer, acted like big babies and raging assholes. She didn't get respect or compassion, everyone acted like she was hurting them when she was suffering and didn't want to anymore.

Illness, dying and death bring out the worst in others far more often than the best.

 

[One day too late]

I feel you. One time I went to the doctors for an after report of a check up and he said that one of blood cells counts came back pretty low. (I think it was the white blood cells.) He said this could be cause various reasons as it could be lab error or that I just recovered from from being sick or it could mean I have cancer. When he said cancer, my eyes lit up. Was supposed to go back to get my blood tested but didn't cause kept getting a little sick cause I sleep with my window open. Then I realized that I was a little under the weather a few days before the check up and just gotten better. So that was a bummer...

 

[Ghost2211]

If your family and friends are not currently treating you like you are valuable then why would they start because you have cancer that you're refusing to treat? Don't get me wrong I like the fairytale image as well, but I think when it comes down to reality I don't think it will make people suddenly care. Even if terminal cancer is a for sure way to die it's a very awful one, and if people were willing to take awful ways to die I doubt a lot of people would still be here.

 

[MichaelNomad123]

You don't. It's often a slow death and extremely difficult and cruel on people that love the patient. Similarly, it makes people very unpredictable. It is not unusual for relatives to drift away as they see the inevitable approaching. It doesn't mean that they love the person less, but the pain is too much you see. We have incredible imaginations, capable of dreaming up all kinds of realities that we haven't lived, but the reality is often not what we expect.

 

[SweetSurrender]

I suppose it depends what kind of circumstances you're in. If noone gives a shit about you it wouldn't change much. But if you have loved ones who would be devastated by your death it might be worth the trade. I think having a loved die of cancer instead of suicide is generally easier to except. There is it was their time attitude instead of this shouldn't have happened. Plus there's there's not the quilt/shame of I should have done more or should have known

 

[rabbithole]

I'd prefer cancer to this disease that I have. It is said to be more painful than end stage bone cancer but it's not terminal. I could easily also get cancer in later years too then I'd have both. What a nightmare.
I totally understand where you're coming from.

 

[suicidal-raven]

I feel this. I sometimes wish I had a fatal disease so that when I do go, it will be easier for everyone I know. At least no one will question why.

 

[Kruger]

Maybe you could have a little consideration for those of us with terminal health issues? You come off as insensitive and immature. Cancer in may cases is a slow decline with a great deal of pain and distress. Have you ever watched someone you love die of it? I have.
I have an inoperable brain tumour, would you like one too? It's not cancerous but it's still going to kill me. I didn't ask for it, but here I am. It's slowly getting bigger and I get no support from anyone. I deal with the pain, the weird sensations, the double vision, the brain fluid running out of my nose, etc ALONE. I don't have people fussing over me or being kind to me - and you know what? It could have been found early when it was still tiny, but a corrupt NHS gp falsified my medical record and covered up the fact I ask for a referral 10 years ago. So it got bigger and bigger and now I'm fucked. I can't fly any more because of what it does to the tumour - so I'm never going to see my family again because we live on opposite sides of the world.
And you know what? I still have to work because they tell me I'm not sick enough to qualify for benefits yet.I'm self employed so I don't get sick pay when I am stuck in my bed with a migraine for 3 days, because that's how long they last. No one to bring me meals. I just don't eat. Sound like fun?

Really, grow up and THINK before you make a low quality insensitive post that is deeply offensive to people with terminal conditions.

 

[All washed up]

Maybe you could have a little consideration for those of us with terminal health issues? You come off as insensitive and immature. Cancer in may cases is a slow decline with a great deal of pain and distress. Have you ever watched someone you love die of it? I have.
I have an inoperable brain tumour, would you like one too? It's not cancerous but it's still going to kill me. I didn't ask for it, but here I am. It's slowly getting bigger and I get no support from anyone. I deal with the pain, the weird sensations, the double vision, the brain fluid running out of my nose, etc ALONE. I don't have people fussing over me or being kind to me - and you know what? It could have been found early when it was still tiny, but a corrupt NHS gp falsified my medical record and covered up the fact I ask for a referral 10 years ago. So it got bigger and bigger and now I'm fucked. I can't fly any more because of what it does to the tumour - so I'm never going to see my family again because we live on opposite sides of the world.
And you know what? I still have to work because they tell me I'm not sick enough to qualify for benefits yet.I'm self employed so I don't get sick pay when I am stuck in my bed with a migraine for 3 days, because that's how long they last. No one to bring me meals. I just don't eat. Sound like fun?

Really, grow up and THINK before you make a low quality insensitive post that is deeply offensive to people with terminal conditions.

Exactly, seeing my very close friend slowly decline and eventually dying from cancer was awful.
Suffering from cancer/terminal illness cannot be better than suffering from depression.
It's a complete myth that everyone rallies round etc

 

[Viceroy]

I have a disease that can easily cause cancer if the damage is not prevented by medication so im kinda hoping that I get it so I dont take the medication

 

[chrisbate7]

Maybe you could have a little consideration for those of us with terminal health issues? You come off as insensitive and immature. Cancer in may cases is a slow decline with a great deal of pain and distress. Have you ever watched someone you love die of it? I have.
I have an inoperable brain tumour, would you like one too? It's not cancerous but it's still going to kill me. I didn't ask for it, but here I am. It's slowly getting bigger and I get no support from anyone. I deal with the pain, the weird sensations, the double vision, the brain fluid running out of my nose, etc ALONE. I don't have people fussing over me or being kind to me - and you know what? It could have been found early when it was still tiny, but a corrupt NHS gp falsified my medical record and covered up the fact I ask for a referral 10 years ago. So it got bigger and bigger and now I'm fucked. I can't fly any more because of what it does to the tumour - so I'm never going to see my family again because we live on opposite sides of the world.
And you know what? I still have to work because they tell me I'm not sick enough to qualify for benefits yet.I'm self employed so I don't get sick pay when I am stuck in my bed with a migraine for 3 days, because that's how long they last. No one to bring me meals. I just don't eat. Sound like fun?

Really, grow up and THINK before you make a low quality insensitive post that is deeply offensive to people with terminal conditions.

Wow it sounds like fucking hell. So sorry that biology is such a bitch sometimes. How long do you have to live? Are you considering going the assisted suicide route? I hope your pain eases

 

[ronigail9]

Maybe you could have a little consideration for those of us with terminal health issues? You come off as insensitive and immature. Cancer in may cases is a slow decline with a great deal of pain and distress. Have you ever watched someone you love die of it? I have.
I have an inoperable brain tumour, would you like one too? It's not cancerous but it's still going to kill me. I didn't ask for it, but here I am. It's slowly getting bigger and I get no support from anyone. I deal with the pain, the weird sensations, the double vision, the brain fluid running out of my nose, etc ALONE. I don't have people fussing over me or being kind to me - and you know what? It could have been found early when it was still tiny, but a corrupt NHS gp falsified my medical record and covered up the fact I ask for a referral 10 years ago. So it got bigger and bigger and now I'm fucked. I can't fly any more because of what it does to the tumour - so I'm never going to see my family again because we live on opposite sides of the world.
And you know what? I still have to work because they tell me I'm not sick enough to qualify for benefits yet.I'm self employed so I don't get sick pay when I am stuck in my bed with a migraine for 3 days, because that's how long they last. No one to bring me meals. I just don't eat. Sound like fun?

Really, grow up and THINK before you make a low quality insensitive post that is deeply offensive to people with terminal conditions.

To be fair OP was talking about cancer. the things that were said were relatable to me, as all I want is to be with my family when I die instead of dying alone, for instance.

recognizing the disenfranchised grief that even suffering cancer patients get a chance at respect... I do not.

I'm terribly sorry you are suffering and not respected. Your pain sounds agonizing.