Venting I wish I died years ago.

[Anon1337]

I wish I died in 2018 or 2019. The years have gone by so quickly. I hate that I have not progressed. I'll probably be saying the exact same thing in another five years and so on because I'm too scared to ctb.

 

[Unknown21]

I think the solution is to accept the difficulty of the decision and take the risk if you really want to. On the other hand, you can try to recover. Perhaps giving yourself another chance will be the solution.

 

[numbed one]

I wish I died in 2018 or 2019. The years have gone by so quickly. I hate that I have not progressed. I'll probably be saying the exact same thing in another five years and so on because I'm too scared to ctb.

I'm scared too , but i'm sure one day i'll ctb .
I also suffer from " not progressing" in this society ...

 

[tbroken]

I'm scared too , but i'm sure one day i'll ctb .
I also suffer from " not progressing" in this society ...

You can be happy with small things, not all the monkeys understand it.

 

[Anon1337]

I think the solution is to accept the difficulty of the decision and take the risk if you really want to. On the other hand, you can try to recover. Perhaps giving yourself another chance will be the solution.

I feel like no matter what happens I'll always be suicidal and I'll regret not doing it when I was younger just like I regret not doing it in 2019. I could give life a chance but I wouldn't expect any change. Maybe I should try to expect change instead of having this negative attitude even if its probably the truth. CTB feels like the best option for me. If I didn't exist I would not worry anymore, I would not despair.

 

[numbed one]

You can be happy with small things, not all the monkeys understand it.

Sure you Can Do it

 

[F@#$]

I went to the basement with my dad pistol when I was like 17. Every intention of blowing my brain out. Obviously I didn't, biggest regret of my shitty life.

 

[sserafim]

Same. I'm surprised that I'm still alive. I didn't want to live past 18. I'm not going to live past 25 though. I haven't progressed in life since graduating college, but I have no desire to enter society anyways

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I wish the same as then I wouldn't have to suffer throughout these years

 

[theboy]

me 2

 

[Anon1337]

Same. I'm surprised that I'm still alive. I didn't want to live past 18. I'm not going to live past 25 though. I haven't progressed in life since graduating college, but I have no desire to enter society anyways

I get that. I don't think I would be happy living a 'normal' life. I made a thread on this. I do want to live a satisfying life but I don't think it's possible.

 

[Unknown21]

I feel like no matter what happens I'll always be suicidal and I'll regret not doing it when I was younger just like I regret not doing it in 2019. I could give life a chance but I wouldn't expect any change. Maybe I should try to expect change instead of having this negative attitude even if its probably the truth. CTB feels like the best option for me. If I didn't exist I would not worry anymore, I would not despair.

Of course, we all agree that non-existence is the best possible state for a human being, but in my humble opinion, if you still enjoy some things in life or live a good quality of life, In this case, you can continue living until something happens that forces you to ctb(the last straw).
I know the chronic suicidality is bitch. If you really think that there is no other solution and that what you want is CTB, then I advise you to take benzos or a sedative that numbs your thinking and your ability to make decisions when you do it, maybe partner will be nice.

 

[DEATH IS FREEDOM]

It is the same way for me. It is horrible that the survival instinct has forced me to endure meaningless pain. I must find the courage to die.

 

[uzuf86]

Some of my good friends died...I always kept wondering why it wasn't me instead of them