Venting I wish I didn't exist.

[Lily&Lotus]

I don't want to wait for the SN to arrive. I want to stop existing now.

I know if wasn't on antidepressents I'd be crying profusely.

It's like this gut wrenching misery. All consuming. I'm tired of feeling this way. Tried of feeling alone. Tired of my uncontrollable emotions. The only thing that helps is hurting myself. No one cares about me. I'm so unstable I lash out at people, Then get upset about being alone. I'm so self destructive I can't stop myself from ruinimg things.

I have no motivation to fucking do things and have a life and I barely go out.

I think god is sadistic. If he exists. He takes pleasure in our misery. If he cared children wouldn't be f**king abused. The world would be fair. People could trust one without fear. We wouldn't have the level of suffering we have now. Which is gradually increasing.

He's like when you play the sims and remove all the doors and watch them starve. Or make them drown. That's how I imagine him. :)

F*ck my parents too. I should have been aborted. Why bring me into this world.

I wish I wasn't so dysfuctional.

I don't deserve happiness.

 

[ultradespair]

The rest of that might be right but you definitely do deserve happiness, youre wrong about that