Is there anything you could do? It doesn't have to be anything large, really, but these kind of questions have either very complicated answers or entirely open ended ones. I think after the week you've had, you deserve some real rest and distraction from it all. It could be quite literally anything. Sudoku on your phone, staring at the closet to see what you'll wear tomorrow if you have to go out, grabbing some water if you feel like you can get up- sitting on the failed attempts will only make you feel worse. The only thing that can be done, the only thing we can know to do, is to start small. Just do anything, even if it's simply going to sleep without brushing your teeth. Commit to any action at all. I believe in you.
I know it's your choice, and I'm sorry for the pain you're going through due to these failed attempts as I know that feeling all too well. But for what it's worth, I'm glad you're here.
