I will never have any children but...

[WornOutLife]

I will never have any children but I gotta admit it feels weird.

I mean, I once read that people have children because they need to leave some kind of "copies of themselves" behind. Sounds pretty selfish right?
However, I think some individuals actually have children because they just need to reproduce themselves and leave their genes in this world somehow. (Sometimes, they have many children in spite of being poor. How mean and heartless can they be?)

As for me, I could never have any children, they don't deserve to be in this hell, but at the same time, it feels strange knowing that there will be NOTHING from me left in this world once I die.

Well, I have a nephew, does it count as leaving some of my genes on Earth? lol

What about you? Can you relate?

 

[Celerity]

A friend of mine had this viewpoint when we discussed death. I guess it doesn't matter to me because I know I won't be around to experience it.
Not saying I'm undecided on the baby question though because I am. The clock is ticking, however.

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

In some countries they use the children as a way to get financial support. There are many mothers who get the public benefit for the children and spend it on themselves giving minimal benefit for the kids . They will also foist the children onto others for free childcare

 

[demuic]

I don't wish there to be anything left of me in this world. I didn't want to be here in the first place.

I don't care to spread my genes like some virus.

 

[nolongerhuman]

Leave only footprints, take only memories, I suppose.

 

[Ani198]

I don't feel any desire to have kids. Any form of maternal gene passed right over me. I wouldn't want to bring any kids into this world anyways. I feel like I wouldn't be a good parent (considering I fail at everything else), and I would fuck up my kids in unimaginable ways. To me, life is hell and I don't want to bring anyone else into this.

 

[WornOutLife]

In some countries they use the children as a way to get financial support. There are many mothers who get the public benefit for the children and spend it on themselves giving minimal benefit for the kids . They will also foist the children onto others for free childcare

You've mentioned something very important.
Here in Argentina people do exactly that. They get a lot of money from the government and they have like 3 or 4 children at least so as to receive more cash.
Most of these inviduals don't even have a house. They're really poor but they don't care. They just want to get money so as to spend it on drugs and alcohol. How can they be this mean and let innocent children suffer? I will never understand...

 

[ExhaustedExistence]

I will never have any children too. I really hate kids (especially babies) and I can't understand when somebody calls them "sweet". I'm also an antinatalist, so I don't want to give someone life, who never wanted it and was just involuntarily born. That's exactly what my mother did to me. Also the planet has a real problem with overpopulation. People only care about the air/water pollution and ecology, but they still reproduce themselves and don't do anything with overpopulate world.

My family knows I will never have any children for a long time. But recently I had a conversation with my mother and she said that people who don't want kinds are selfish, because they think only about themselves. I think absolutely the opposite. People who want kids are selfish, bacause they just want some copies of themselves and don't even think about the suffering that is possible for a human being. I think that is because they are just "normal". Just study, work, marry and have kids. That's it. They don't expect nothing more from life.

 

[WornOutLife]

I will never have any children too. I really hate kids (especially babies) and I can't understand when somebody calls them "sweet". I'm also an antinatalist, so I don't want to give someone life, who never wanted it and was just involuntarily born. That's exactly what my mother did to me. Also the planet has a real problem with overpopulation. People only care about the air/water pollution and ecology, but they still reproduce themselves and don't do anything with overpopulate world.

My family knows I will never have any children for a long time. But recently I had a conversation with my mother and she said that people who don't want kinds are selfish, because they think only about themselves. I think absolutely the opposite. People who want kids are selfish, bacause they just want some copies of themselves and don't even think about the suffering that is possible for a human being. I think that is because they are just "normal". Just study, work, marry and have kids. That's it. They don't expect nothing more from life.

You've summed up in a wonderful way my thoughts!
I totally agree with you!

 

[!WILL!]

I'm fine with my genes dying off with me. I don't have any desire to have kids but if I ever did I'd 100% adopt. I don't see the need for me to reproduce if I can help a child who's already been born.

 

[Amumu]

Sometimes, they have many children in spite of being poor. How mean and heartless can they be?

Technically, during pre-industrialized times, people had an average number of 6 children because they knew 2 of them could survive.
3 of them died before they reached 20, and maybe another one due to war or famine before they could reproduce.
If the parents hadn't had children, they knew they would die because no one could take care of their farm when they get old.

You can find a similar situation in many subsaharan countries,
I wouldn't say they're mean and heartless, they're just more used to suffering than we are and far more religious too.

 

[wait.what]

I'm glad I never had kids. I would have been a horrible parent and they probably would have ended up hating me. I wouldn't have tortured them on purpose, but my psyche problems are so bad I can't even take care of myself sometimes. A lot of my illness appears to be inherited, too, so the kids might have ended up with rotten genetic luck on top of everything else. I wish to God my parents hadn't had me.

 

[JustAMatterOfTime]

My genes are defective so I don't feel guilty about not passing them on, I would also be a terrible parent so it wouldn't be fair.

 

[marconk]

I mean, I once read that people have children because they need to leave some kind of "copies of themselves" behind. Sounds pretty selfish right?
However, I think some individuals actually have children because they just need to reproduce themselves and leave their genes in this world somehow.

I think social pressure has a big role, too. I mean, while not having children is slowly becoming more acceptable, having children is still considered the right thing to do, a necessary milestone in a successful or at least "normal" life.
Then comes the genes thing - maybe most people don't consciously think "I need to spread my genes" but there's probably some kind of instinct that boils down to that.
Also, spreading your genes probably helps a little bit to cope with the idea of mortality and gives the illusion of some kind of immortality through continuity of life.
It's funny that people unconsciously want children for these reasons yet they rationalize this desire as something "altruistic" and "beautiful".
Other reasons; boredom, accidents, just liking/idealizing the idea of having a baby/a family, being a failure and wanting to redeem yourself through your children (-.-).

As for me, even if I make it out of my personal hell (big if), I won't bring anyone into this world, although I might consider adoption. It's fucked up how adoption is still considered as an inferior option and a last resort.
To be honest I used to like the idea of having "my own" children, then I realized how deeply narcissistic (but normal, sadly) this feeling was. I also realized maybe it's not the greatest idea to give my genes to someone.

I shouldn't really judge people who have children though (even though I still do it), because I know that in different circumstances I would have been just like them.

 

[Isisnefert]

I'm really tired of discussing this with others. My partner and I decided long ago not to have children for various reasons. People have children to try to fill their empty lives, later they realize that it is not the solution, others simply look for someone to take care of them in the future, in old age, this is really selfish.
And as some of you said, I would never bring someone to this world to suffer as I am suffering, I did not ask to be born and I wish I had not been born, this world is a valley of pain and sadness, and the future is terrifying, our children could die of poverty, suffocation from pollution or high temperatures. This world will die but the people will die before it.

 

[Trisolaris]

I don't see myself as ever having children so yeah, I can relate.

 

[orlandom]

Children are happiness.

Sorry for the different opinion.

 

[Lmd]

I can't take care of the bonsai someone gifted me last year imagine having children.

 

[lofticries]

I don't think people realize how complicated raising another human being is. I've seen women who can't even take care of their pets talk about having a bunch of kids because they think it'll look cute. And men wanting to be fathers but are cheating on their girlfriend left and right constantly not caring what a toxic environment that would create in the household . I'm convinced some people who want kids are just doing it so society won't look down on them. Also the parents guilt tripping their kids into giving them grandkids no matter how fucked up their situation in life is. Shit, even my own parents do it sometimes and they know I'm heavily suicidal and miserable.

 

[Superdeterminist]

I kind of wish I could have kids but the reality is I'm in no position for it. Plus like you said, this world is abhorrently cruel and I don't want to throw another being into it when there's no easy quit option for them. It's crushing to see other people have children of their own and fluorish while I will just die without any of that. But yeah, I'm not gonna have children just for the sake of it. I don't want them to suffer hell like I did.

 

[UterEntonaur]

What about you? Can you relate?

I literally have zero interest in having kids and nothing will change my mind.

I saw so many kids (including myself) be born into lives they never wanted, simply for their parents benefit (governmental financial aid, someone to look after them when they get old, etc etc), and I never wanted to be that guy/person

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I don't think I'd be a very good parent even though I've been told I get along with kids well. I'm pretty sure that's just because I'm a lot like a big kid myself so it's easy for me to get along with them but raising them seems like something else entirely. They can probably sense the weakness in me too so they usually know that I'd fold to their demands pretty easily.

That said I'd still go for having them if given the chance. More reason I'm evil I suppose. Luckily for the world my filthy dna will probably not ever be given the chance to directly pass on anyway.

 

[WornOutLife]

I don't think I'd be a very good parent even though I've been told I get along with kids well. I'm pretty sure that's just because I'm a lot like a big kid myself so it's easy for me to get along with them but raising them seems like something else entirely. They can probably sense the weakness in me too so they usually know that I'd fold to their demands pretty easily.

That said I'd still go for having them if given the chance. More reason I'm evil I suppose. Luckily for the world my filthy dna will probably not ever be given the chance to directly pass on anyway.

I've been told the same.
Children love me. You gotta see my neighbor and some little students I have lol.

However, being a dad? No, thanks!