I will kill myself three years from now

[CursedBeing]

I'll be 25 by then, if nothing gets better and I'm not living the life I want, I will die by my own hands.

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish you the best in what you decide.

 

[momento.mori]

I wish you the best in what you decide.

Funeral city, I see you a lot in this site and see you have written over 33,000+ post which is totally ok. If you don't mind mse asking why are you still here? Have you ever tried to ctb? Is this site helping you? We all are entitled to reply as much as we like but I always see you and I wonder are you OK? You just seem the saddest on this site and I hope there's people in your real life that you can go out and try to live a life outside of this sitte. Trust me I'm no better but I'm able to work, go out to eat and have fun and return to this site when I feel up to it. I guess I want to say I hope this isn't your only outlet and I hope you have so bit of happiness in your life outside of SS.

I'll be 25 by then, if nothing gets better and I'm not living the life I want, I will die by my own hands.

You have to make plans that will make you happy, and only yourself! Can I ask why 3 years? Is that a special date you've chosen?

 

[iloverachel]

Funeral city, I see you a lot in this site and see you have written over 33,000+ post which is totally ok. If you don't mind mse asking why are you still here? Have you ever tried to ctb? Is this site helping you? We all are entitled to reply as much as we like but I always see you and I wonder are you OK? You just seem the saddest on this site and I hope there's people in your real life that you can go out and try to live a life outside of this sitte. Trust me I'm no better but I'm able to work, go out to eat and have fun and return to this site when I feel up to it. I guess I want to say I hope this isn't your only outlet and I hope you have so bit of happiness in your life outside of SS.

You have to make plans that will make you happy, and only yourself! Can I ask why 3 years? Is that a special date you've chosen?

I believe Funeralcry has mentioned before, that there isn't any easy or reliable method for her to CTB. Part of the reason she dislikes pro lifers is because of how hard they made it to end one's life.

I found this on her profile posts when someone asked her a similar question "Because there isn't the option to just reliably die in peace, what I'd also fear is trying to die going wrong and leading to way worse suffering. Really wish that Nembutal is accessible, I despise this hellish world where suicide is pretty much illegal."

It is really sad to see someone hate the world so much be forced to be trapped in existence for decades. I am in a similar position so I can totally relate to her

 

[momento.mori]

I believe Funeralcry has mentioned before, that there isn't any easy or reliable method for her to CTB. Part of the reason she dislikes pro lifers is because of how hard they made it to end one's life.

I found this on her profile posts when someone asked her a similar question "Because there isn't the option to just reliably die in peace, what I'd also fear is trying to die going wrong and leading to way worse suffering. Really wish that Nembutal is accessible, I despise this hellish world where suicide is pretty much illegal."

It is really sad to see someone hate the world so much be forced to be trapped in existence for decades. I am in a similar position so I can totally relate to her

I definitely agree with her then! I wish those that succeeded in their attempts left us blueprints of what they done. It's exhausting trying over and over and only to fail so you become stuck in this world. It's a horrible way to live for all of us. I not a prolifer at all and I definitely wish people had the right to exit when they are ready but I doubt this will ever be possible and if there is they will place so many stipulations so it will never be assessable anyway.

 

[CursedBeing]

You have to make plans that will make you happy, and only yourself! Can I ask why 3 years? Is that a special date you've chosen?

Whenever I do something that enjoy or feel any sort of "happiness", it feels fake, I know what happiness feels like and I just can't feel it anymore...For some reasons I won't disclose here my life could never be the same, there's always this thought looming over my head reminding about how I could never taste happiness again. Three years is more of a deadline, because everybody keeps saying things like "things will get better, just wait", however I often feel like I might do it way before, I'm already at the end of my rope and I know for sure that unless a miracle happens things will only get worse from here on out.

 

[momento.mori]

Whenever I do something that enjoy or feel any sort of "happiness", it feels fake, I know what happiness feels like and I just can't feel it anymore...For some reasons I won't disclose here my life could never be the same, there's always this thought looming over my head reminding about how I could never taste happiness again. Three years is more of a deadline, because everybody keeps saying things like "things will get better, just wait", however I often feel like I might do it way before, I'm already at the end of my rope and I know for sure that unless a miracle happens things will only get worse from here on out.

I understand. I dislike when people give advice on your life when they have never walked a day in your shoes! I think people have a hard time accepting that we want to simply exist this life and that's perfectly fine. I always say, do what's best for you! If you spend your life making decisions based and for others you will spend your life miserable. I completely understand being at the end, one can only take so much and it's exhausting to carry so much everyday. I wish you the best in whatever you decide, I'm always here for you!